


In Memoria

by EllaBesmirched (El_Bell)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Bullying, Contracts, Dom/sub Play, Dominant Armitage Hux, Explicit Sexual Content, Flashbacks, It's weed-- just to be transparent, Kinda, Knights of Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren is a foot stool and he loves it, Kylux - Freeform, M/M, Memory Loss, Memory Magic, Recreational Drug Use, Riding Crops, Room of Requirement, Rope Bondage, Sex Toys, Slow-ish burn, Submissive Kylo Ren, Tumblr: kyluxhardkinks, Underage Drug Use, inappropriate use of the room of requirement, it's non-explicit though, mentions/depictions of teenage sexuality, unexpected aphrodisiacs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-10-19 21:09:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 65,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10648104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/El_Bell/pseuds/EllaBesmirched
Summary: Kylo Ren never thought he'd find himself back at Hogwarts. But when Leia Organa is promoted to Headmistress, the Defense Against the Dark Arts post needs filling once more. Newly unemployed, Kylo thinks taking the job might be the perfect solution to a very annoying problem.Kylo even finds he likes teaching-- when the uptight Charms instructor isn't making his life a living hell.Armitage Hux is pompous, cold, and so concerned with order and protocol, Kylo can't help but push his buttons. In fact, Kylo seems to know exactly how to get under Hux's skin-- although thanks to a seventeen year old Obliviate curse gone awry, he can't quite remember why.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [this](http://kyluxhardkinks.tumblr.com/post/159357682893/part-1-hogwart-au-hux-and-kylo-professors-they) Kyluxhardkinks prompt: "Hogwart au, Hux and Kylo professors They just got together but it's not like they can find any privacy in the castle. Walking too often out of each other offices is too suspicious, classrooms are a big no, (students are unpredictable) etc. That is until they find the Room of Requirements. It's perfect, everything is in there (bed they don't need to clean, lube, etc) and secure from others. The problem appears when one of them let's more of his kinky fantasies occupy his mind. They walk into a room one time only to find a full bdsm dungeon. Ropes, cuffs, pet play items, whips, everything is there. Every dirty fantasy one of them had is shown without any sort of preparation for it to the other one. Flustered he starts to explain him self only to be interrupted by the other doing exactly the same thing. Turns out they are both kinky bastards. Which fantasy they decide to fulfill first up to writer but I think “student teacher play” suits quite nicely."
> 
>  
> 
> So this prompt spoke to me on a soul level and I got really carried away, ok? I'm sorry. Explicit stuff to follow but for now this barely earns the Mature rating I gave it. I hope you enjoy reading this whimsical yet angsty Hogwarts romp as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Kylo leaned back in his seat and stared around the room. The Deputy Headmaster’s office was… bland. To say the least. The only window had been charmed to always have a single beam of sunlight streaming in, but that was the cheeriest thing about the place. The portraits were all empty-- the occupants no doubt hanging around in some other frames with more interesting rooms to look at. There were a few very complicated bits of magic fluttering along the desk that Kylo couldn’t be bothered to examine too closely; they were exactly what he would expect of a charms expert-- useless, overly complicated, show-offy nonsense. 

Hux. 

Not for the first time, he tried to recall exactly who that was. He was a few years older than Kylo. In a different house. Head boy. Kylo knew all this vaguely-- a combination of memory and assumption. But while he was at Hogwarts, Kylo hadn’t been particularly interested in Slytherin Head Boys. Except for that one time he’d figured out where their common room was and had set up a few hexes to go off when they came back from dinner.

Ah. That was probably why he was having so much trouble placing Hux. The seventh years had eventually gotten ahold of him and Obliviated the location of the common room out of his head. His memories of the boys who had done the casting had always been a little hazy after that. He couldn’t even remember anymore  _ how  _ he’d known where the common room was or why he’d been so compelled to hex them to begin with. 

He twirled his wand absently between his fingers as he waited. Of all the places he thought he’d wind up, back at Hogwarts was not one of them. Particularly not when he and the headmistress were so. Well acquainted. 

But. Teaching was a Noble Profession at least. And the pay was. Well, it was pay. 

Something on Hux’s desk kept tweeting. He’d been waiting here an  _ awfully  _ long time…

Eventually the door did open, and, in a swirl of black robes and ill-temper, Hux walked in and dropped in his desk chair with an annoyed grunt. 

Oh. 

_ Him.  _

Kylo felt his lips curl against his will. His memories of Hux were hazy enough that he couldn’t remember exactly _why_ that reaction came so strongly, but clear enough that he remembered _hating_ Hux for the remainder of Hux’s seventh year-- Kylo’s fifth. His recollections of Hux before year five were clearer-- a pretty, stiff shouldered boy who looked down his nose at everyone, and who, once he’d had a prefect’s badge pinned to his chest, absolutely reveled in ordering students around. Kylo wished wistfully that he could remember exactly what it was Hux had done in Kylo’s fifth year to piss him off enough to set up the traps he had. It had probably been truly spectacular.   
“Mr. Solo--”

“Ren,” Kylo correct automatically. 

Hux looked up at him then. He’d been peering down at a stack of parchment on his desk and then had lifted his head in some surprise and Kylo was completely taken aback. Had he ever known Hux had such  _ gorgeous  _ eyes? They reminded Kylo instantly of Hogwarts in a way that actually  _ being  _ here hadn’t. He immediately thought of the lake-- how smooth and crystal clear and blue it had been when he’d flown in this morning-- and the hills the castle was nestled between-- how green and alive they were, how if you hiked far enough, you could find a quiet spot with no one else around without actually leaving the grounds. 

“Ren?” Hux prodded in a very clipped and annoyed voice. 

“Yeah. I. Uh. Are you familiar with the Knights of Ren?”

“Yes, of course, I--” Hux broke off and his eyes sharpened a little. Then he sniffed in what Kylo could only describe as disdain. 

“I’ve been a part of the order for the last. Ten years or so? Once they promote you to ‘master’ it’s sort of customary to choose a new name. So--”

“ _ You’re  _ the current Master of the Knights of Ren?” Hux’s voice was somewhere between goading and incredulous.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. As of. Two years ago? Yeah. Two years. So. Kylo Ren is my new name.”

Hux sat back in his chair, eyes wide and brows furrowed. “You’re lying.” 

“What? Why would I--”

“It’s a secret order, you can’t just--”

Kylo raised his brows. “Don’t remember that lesson from your history classes, professor? The Master of the Knights of Ren has always been the only known member. It was a little more important that we have a public face years ago during more. Tumultuous times. People tend to forget about us during peaceful times. But. We’re still here.” Kylo smiled pleasantly. 

Hux let out a puff of air. “Master of.” He shook his head. “You’re too young.” 

Kylo hid a grin. The shadowy Order of the Knights of Ren would have been relegated to the realm of conspiracy theory, if the Master wasn’t publicly known. As it was, it still wasn’t public knowledge exactly what they  _ did.  _ What was common knowledge, however, was that all the past Masters were strong witches and wizards with an affinity for dueling and a very creepy habit of showing up in places they shouldn’t with knowledge they shouldn’t be privvy too. 

It made Kylo feel almost a little wistful for Dark Times. He hadn’t had much opportunity to really flex his wings as Master. Of course, assuming he played all his cards right (and he intended too) he’d be Master for many years to come. 

“Youngest ever,” Kylo replied, voice even and grin fully contained. The picture of professionalism. He wasn’t bragging. Of  _ course  _ he wasn’t bragging  _ at all.  _ “And the first with a Muggle father. They’ve been a bit purist in the past. But. I intend to change that.” 

Hux’s eyes on him sharpened. There was something almost taunting in the gaze that made Kylo wonder if Hux himself was. One of  _ those  _ wizards. 

“It’s a small order. Only seven of us at the top. Each Master generally takes on some kind of… project for the order. You know, something to make his mark.” Kylo shrugged and gave Hux his most crooked grin. “None of my Knights are purists anymore. And we just inducted in our first muggle born last month.” As Kylo spoke, he examined Hux’s face very carefully-- he was looking at Kylo like he wasn’t really seeing him, eyes glazed and staring  _ through  _ Kylo instead of at him. When Kylo said ‘muggle born’ his pupils shrunk into little dots surrounded by so much blue-green and white. It reminded Kylo of a frightened rabbit. 

“And your duties with the Knights won’t interfere with your duties here?” Hux asked a little too quickly, voice breathier than it had been, like he couldn’t believe this was the question he was forced to ask.

“Shouldn’t be a problem. In peace times, it’s mostly an honorary order. We only meet a few times a year, catastrophic wizarding disasters notwithstanding. And most of our interactions take place in the late evenings, so nothing that would interfere with. You know. Class work.”

After a long pause, Hux finally started speaking again. “I suppose this is just a formality--”

Kylo interrupted him with a bitter chuckle. “Trust me. It’s not.” 

Hux made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat. “And what have you been doing for the last fifteen years? Why are you qualified for this post? Aside from the Knights?” 

“This and that,” Kylo said with a shrug. “Traveled a bit. A few odd jobs. Most recently I worked as an Auror. For the last five years.” 

“Oh, how  _ exciting.  _ Why have you decided to become a mere  _ teacher  _ then.” 

“Um.” 

“‘Um’ is not a sufficient response, Mr.  _ Ren.  _ You will need to be more specific.” 

Kylo narrowed his eyes. Really this man was bloody  _ insufferable.  _ “I was. Uh. Let go. Something about. About. Excessive use of force?” 

“Oh, marvelous. Truly. And you think spending your days around school children would be an appropriate use of your talents now?” 

Kylo could feel a muscle sliding in his jaw. “Well. Yeah. Kids generally don’t bewitch muggle trains to run off the tracks while crossing bridges.” 

Hux stared back at him and Kylo felt the tell tale reminders of the Obliviate curse twitching at the back of his mind like a word he knew he knew but he just couldn’t find. But maybe it wasn’t that at all. Maybe he just found Hux distracting. He’d always been pretty-- Kylo remembered that much. But he’d grown into an angular, severe sort of man, and, if Kylo was being totally honest, it worked for him. He’d been a thin, willowy boy, and he hadn’t lost that quality, but he’d grown into it in such a way that Kylo was reminded of how difficult it was to snap a willow branch. They bent but they never broke. 

Then he thought of the one time he’d actually tried to a break a switch from the Whomping Willow and decided it was an entirely apt comparison. Although he suspected the Willow was cuddlier. 

Hux looked down at the parchment he was holding, then back. “You’re an accomplished Legilimens?” Kylo could tell by the curl of Hux’s lips that he didn’t believe that for an instant.

“And Occlumens,” Kylo added with a smirk. He’d always had an interest in mind magic, but he’d honed his skills in his time as an Auror. He’d been the best interrogator the Auror office had until they’d decided he was more liability than useful and fired him. 

Hux’s lips curled even further, if that was possible. “Prove it.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“It is very easy to claim a skill on parchment, Mr. Ren. It is another thing entirely to prove one has said skill. Why don’t you--”

“ _ Legilimens.” _

_ The owlery. The lanky, long haired fifth year was holding a scrap of parchment in his hands, his thick lips curled in a terrible, taunting snarl. “What do you  _ want _ \--” _

“Obliviate!”

_ His face went slack. Hux smirked and lowered his wand, hand shaking so badly the tip of it was wobbling visibly.  _

_ “What am I doing here?”  _

_ “How should I know?” Hux spat. Ben Solo blinked dumbly, and, without another word, turned and drifted dazedly down the stairs.  _

“I knew that was you!” Kylo half shouted, standing up from his chair as he let his spell end. Hux was staring furiously at a space somewhere around Kylo’s belly button, eyes not quite focused in a dazed, but livid sort of way. Clearly, he’d underestimated Kylo. “I’ve got half my fifth year missing thanks to you!”

“Oh, please--”

“You botched the spell!”

“I most certainly did not.” 

“Did too. I’m missing Christmas from that year, half my Quidditch matches-- I can’t remember studying for my O.W.L.s  _ at all _ but I must have since I got ten--”

“You did?” Hux said in some surprise. 

“You sound like my mother,” Kylo snapped in annoyance. Why did everyone always sound so surprised when he told them how many O.W.L.s he’d gotten? 

“What did you fail?” 

“Arithmancy,” Kylo muttered, dropping back into his seat with what could only be described as a pout. It was a seventeen year old curse, but  _ still.  _

Hux’s voice had gone strange. Softer than it had been. “You passed History of Magic?”

“Yeah, I-- wait, how did you know--” History of Magic had been Kylo’s second worst subject. 

Kylo watched Hux’s throat work for a second, watched the fog clear from his eyes, and then he said, a little too quickly, and with his voice a little too high, “Right. Well. You’re hired. You’re certainly the most qualified of our candidates.” He cleared his throat.

Kylo didn’t know whether Hux was complimenting him or insulting everyone else judging by the way he’d said, ‘qualified.’ And his voice had gone stiff all of a sudden, even more formal than it had been when he’d stormed in. Kylo tilted his head and very seriously considered prying his way back into Hux’s brain. “And you can teach the Occlumens elective next semester.” 

“You’ve added an Occlumens elective?” Kylo asked in surprise. 

“Now we will. Now that we have someone to teach it. It’ll be a small class, just your best Defense Against the Dark Arts students in their seventh year.” 

“That. Actually sounds great,” Kylo said somewhat grudgingly. He really was missing rather alot of time from his fifth year. He had right to be furious about it. “So. So that’s it? Just like that? Hired?” 

Hux leveled a glare at Kylo from under a shock of orange hair that was so vitriolic it actually made Kylo wince. And he’d been inside the minds of some of the most terrifying dark wizards to show their faces in the last five years.

“That’s  _ all.  _ It is, unfortunately, rather difficult to fill such an important post on such short notice. Your obvious  _ attitude  _ aside, you seem to possess the least amount of skill required for the position which, as I have already stated, is less than I can say for our other applicants.” He paused and Kylo could only gape at him. He couldn’t remember the last time a complete stranger had seemed so  _ disgusted  _ with his very presence. And again. Auror. Dark Wizards. 

“I’m sure your mother will be very pleased,” Hux said with a mocking scowl. 

Kylo shrugged, forced himself not to whip out his wand and show _Professor Hux_ exactly what kind of wizard he was, give Hux a taste of the _least_ of his abilities.   
Instead, he studied his nails and said in his most unaffected voice, “Believe me, following in her footsteps will be worse for me than it would be for anyone else.” 

“I believe you. Now get out of my office. The semester starts in ten days.” 

“Yes,  _ sir,”  _ Kylo muttered sarcastically. A lot of things had changed since Kylo was at Hogwarts. But Armitage Hux being a complete and utter  _ ass  _ was clearly not one of them. 

He pushed himself to his feet, his most leisurely and insolent posture returning to him-- teachers had always brought out his inner rebel. He’d never dealt well with being told what to do, but back at Hogwarts, something familiar and long hidden started to emerge. He was half waiting for Hux to growl out, ‘Ten points from Gryffindor,’ half ready to grin into his hand before tossing over his shoulder, ‘Only ten?’

Instead, he paused at the apex of a casual stretch, then grinned at Hux and stuck out his hand. “I look forward to working with you,  _ professor.”  _

Hux’s scowl deepened, if that was even possible, and he took Kylo’s hand in a crushing, furious grip that made Kylo want to curl forward, want to bend his head, took his breath away-- electricity and heat and--

Kylo dropped the hand. Hux’s face had gone stiff and still and blank. He said, “Yes.” 

When Kylo closed the door behind him, he heard something shatter on the hard stone floor. 

~~~

Kylo only got lost once on the way to the gargoyle guarding his mother’s new office. And really, he only got lost because one of the staircases moved on him-- it had decided on a new path since Kylo’s Hogwarts days. He was familiar enough with the headmistress’s office that even that deviation was an embarrassment. 

It wasn’t until he was standing in front of the gargoyle that he realized he had no idea what the password was. In Uncle Luke’s days it had been ‘Skywalkers hate sand’, which was, in Kylo’s opinion, a wholly unwieldy password but one that always seemed to make Uncle Luke chuckle. 

“Um. Skywalkers hate sand?” 

The gargoyle remained resolute. Kylo rolled his eyes. Uncle Luke had another ‘password’ he liked to swap out from time to time when he was feeling particularly entertained by himself.

Kylo sought out the tiny divot in the stone just between the gargoyle’s eyebrows and then unfocused his eyes, staring through the stone to an imaginary distance. He didn’t say a word, just counted silently in his head for a full minute. 

Still nothing. “Eff.”

Of course his mother would change it immediately when she took over. And she’d never let the non-password password stand for more than a few seconds. She’d always hated having to stare seriously into the distance just to get Luke’s door open. Kylo suspected that’s why Uncle Luke did most of what Uncle Luke did: to annoy Leia.

Kylo shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes and emerged with a few scrap pieces of parchment. That would do. 

_ Let me in.  _

The parchment glowed gold with the wand writing for a moment, then, with a flick of his wrist, the little scrap folded itself into a very lopsided paper bird and fluttered away at a breakneck pace. Kylo watched it go with some admiration-- that thing would actually hurt if it struck someone while it searched for a path to the Headmistress. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. This was how they sent most messages at the Ministry, but Hogwarts had always been a little Different. Even by wizarding standards.  

Ten minutes later, the gargoyle sprung to life with no obvious prompting and Kylo stepped onto the spiraling staircase.   
Leia barely looked up when he stepped into the room. She was reading some gigantic tome at her desk, casually flipping the pages with her wand while her hair braided itself into a crown around her head. 

“Ben, honey,” she said by way of greeting. “That little bird nearly cracked my window.” She pointed her thin wand at the open tower window and it immediately snapped shut. 

“Shoddy spell, too,” Anakin said from his portrait behind her desk. “It was lopsided, flying crooked. You should know better, young man.”

“That’s how we send messages at the ministry,” Kylo pouted, looking up at his grandfather’s rather imposing portrait. 

“But you don’t  _ work  _ at the ministry anymore, do you?” Anakin asked. 

“Because you got sacked,” Ben Kenobi’s portrait coughed, making Kylo jump; he’d been pretending to be asleep.

Kylo rolled his eyes and groaned as he sank into the chair facing Leia. He looked up at Anakin. “I was improvising. It wasn’t supposed to  _ last,  _ and it accomplished it’s goal just fine, didn’t it?”

“Did you forget the password?” Luke’s portrait asked cheerfully. “It’s ‘Skywalkers Hate Sand.’” 

“You really think that’s funny, do you?” Anakin snapped. 

Portrait Luke only grinned. 

“I changed it, of course,” Leia drawled, closing her book. She ignored the bickering portraits entirely and said, “It’s ‘Alderaan,’ dear. How did your interview go?”  

Kylo spread his arms, “You’ll be very pleased to know I’ll be following in your footsteps. That’s three generations of Skywalkers teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts now. Pretty impressive, if you ask me.”

“You’re not a Skywalker,” Anakin interjected. 

Kylo crossed his eyes. “Yeah, well, you’re paint and canvas so that makes two of us.”

“Insolent.” 

Kylo stuck his tongue out in response and Leia chastised, “Ben.” 

“You can’t call me that anymore, Mom, I told you it’s Kylo now.” 

“Your name is Ben--”

“It’s a very good name,” Portrait Ben inserted. 

“And no silly Order is going to change that,” Leia completed with a dignified sniff. “I mean,  _ really. Kylo Ren.  _ How absurd.” 

Kylo rolled his eyes and decided not to argue-- it wasn’t a fight he was ever going to win. “Can you at least call me Professor Ren in front of the  _ students?”  _

Leia examined him with a flat, slightly annoyed expression. “I suppose.” 

“Professor Hux said I’d teach an Occlumens lesson as well. Next semester,” Kylo said as casually as he could, trying not to puff himself up too much. 

Leia beamed. “Of course he did. He knows talent when he sees it. That’s why I trusted him to make the call.” 

“Oh, really?  _ That’s  _ why? Nothing to do with the impropriety of hiring your son to fill the position you vacated so you could fill the position your  _ brother  _ vacated, who was himself occupying a position that was previously held by  _ his  _ father?” 

“Well, when you say it like that,” Portrait Luke chirped, voice annoyingly chipper. 

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Ben. You’re perfect for the job. Bloodline or no.”

“And no one can argue that fact since Hux hired him,” Anakin said shrewdly. 

Leia’s smile widened just the tiniest bit.  


~~~

There was one aspect of the job that Hux had forgotten to mention. 

“Head of  _ House?”  _ Kylo said incredulously, eyes flicking anxiously toward the Great Hall doors. The hallways were ringing with the flood of children stampeding back to their common rooms. “But I can’t-- I’m not-- there  _ must  _ be other Gryffindors--”

Hux wasn’t bothering to hide his amusement at Kylo’s discomfort at all. “The only other option is our Potion’s master but she’s new this semester as well, and quite a bit younger than you. Professor Organa and I have discussed this and we’ve decided it makes the most sense, all things considered, for the professor who takes over her post to take over all her other duties as well.” 

Kylo scowled. “Then how come  _ you  _ get to be Deputy Headmaster?” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Hux said pompously. “You couldn’t--”

“Oh, sod off.” 

“I’m your  _ boss--” _

“Gonna sack me?” Hux just stared at him. “Thought not.” Kylo still couldn’t help the pout that had settled on his lips.

Hux stared at him in furious, but amused silence before saying. “I’ll escort you to your common room. You should  _ introduce yourself. _ ”

Which is how Kylo found himself standing in front of a common room full of rowdy students, fresh off of summer vacation, trying to look like he was at all prepared for this and failing miserably. “So, Um. I’m Ky- Professor. Professor Ren. And Um. I’m. Your. Uh. New. New Head of House and also. Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. So.”

“Professor Organa isn’t going to be teaching us anymore?” A fifth year girl with glasses asked, raising her hand after she’d started talking. 

“She’ll be pretty busy with the whole. Headmistress thing. So. You’ve got me now. Sorry.” A few people snickered, but Kylo couldn’t tell if they were laughing with him or  _ at  _ him. 

“How old are you?” A seventh year girl wearing the Head Girl badge spoke up from one of the arm chairs. “I mean. You’re practically our age, aren’t you?” 

Kylo resisted an outright groan. There were very few things he hated on this earth more than  _ teenaged girls.  _ “Too old for you.” 

A bark of laughter shot through the common room and the girl in question smirked instead of blushing. Then she shrugged and said, “Just checking.” 

Alright, so maybe teenaged girls weren’t awful. But. Still. 

“Anyway,” Kylo said very pointedly. “This whole Head of House thing-- look, I’ll be in my mom’s old office so if any of you need anything--”

A whisper circled the room. 

Hell. 

“Did I not mention Professor Organa is my mother? Oh, silly me. I must have  _ forgotten.”  _

He retreated before they could think of more stupid questions to ask him. By the time he was done scrambling out of the portrait hole (which had been  _ much  _ easier when he was a kid) there was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead and his heart was pounding. Clearly he’d been insane to apply for this job. Kids were  _ terrible.  _

Hux was waiting right where Kylo had left him. When he saw the look on Kylo’s face, he smirked. It made Kylo’s heart speed up just a little and wasn’t  _ that  _ annoying? Of course Kylo had to pick the most obnoxious, stuck up, pretentious little prick to have the hots for. Or maybe it was just that the most pretentious pricks were also the cutest. 

“Having fun?” Hux taunted. 

Kylo scowled. “I forgot I hate children. Why did I think this was a good idea?”

“Still fond of biting off more than you can chew?” 

Kylo looked at Hux sharply and felt that twinge in the back of his mind again. Hux’s face colored immediately, lips snapping closed. “What do you mean--” Kylo blinked. “Were we  _ friends?”  _

“Of course not,” Hux snapped. “Don’t be an idiot. We have a staff meeting now. Let’s go.” 

~~~

The first three days of the week went by alarmingly simply. The students were quiet and attentive-- almost  _ too  _ attentive, but maybe Kylo was just comparing them to his own friends and school days. 

It wasn’t until the fourth day that things started to go a little…. off book. 

It started with the first years; Kylo had the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins first thing and a tiny red haired girl in green raised her hand and asked, “What’s a Knight of Ren?” 

It only got worse from there, so that by the time Kylo’s last class of the day rolled around-- the sixth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws-- the Question had evolved into, “Is it true you're the Master of the Knights of Ren?” 

Kylo rolled his eyes and groaned. Someone chuckled. “Yes,” he drawled in exasperation. “But that has nothing to do with--”

“What’s a Knight of Ren?” he heard again, this time from a large Gryffindor boy in the back who’d been occupying himself by making his quill dance across the desk for the pretty blonde girl beside him. 

A Ravenclaw girl wrinkled her nose. “Don’t you read?” 

The Gryffindor stared back at her dumbly. “Nope.” 

“A Knight of Ren,” Kylo interrupted loudly. “Is. A witch or wizard who has been inducted into the Order of the Knights of Ren.” 

“Did you just define a word with the word itself?” the same Ravenclaw girl asked somewhat scathingly. 

Kylo rolled his eyes. “You asked the wrong question. What you should be asking is ‘What is the Order of the Knights of Ren.’” He paused just long enough for someone to start repeating the question back to him before he interrupted again. “The Order of the Knights of Ren is a secret order of witches and wizards who concern themselves primarily with peace keeping. What that actually means has changed over the course of the years and with the various Masters that have led them.” 

“That’s vague,” the Gryffindor boy deadpanned. 

Kylo shrugged one shoulder. “What part of ‘secret’ was I not clear about?”

“So you can tell us you lead it but you can’t actually tell us what you do?” 

“Yeah, pretty much. Our members’ identities are kept hidden-- for their protection and the protection of their families. But in times of crisis the Order prefers to have a face. That’s the risk each Master accepts when he or she is chosen.” Another child raised his hand, but Kylo overrode him. “You can direct more questions about the Knights and their slash our suspected exploits over the years to Professor Yoda. We’re not here to talk about History of Magic. We’re here for Defense Against the Dark Arts. So!” Kylo clapped his hands. “Non-verbal spells.” 

He spent ten minutes lecturing before he gave them the spell they were supposed to be trying-- a simple flame conjuration that he could use to judge the strength and control of each spell depending on the size of the flame. The entire room was dead silent for about one minute before the whispers started. Kylo let it go on for ten more minutes before he crossed his arms and wordlessly grew a flame in front of his chest. 

The students in the front row saw it first. By the time silence had spread through the room the flame was the size of his hand and hot enough that the students in the front row had to lean back from the heat. 

“Wands and spells are focusing tools. Nothing more.” He let that statement linger as he waved his wand and dissipated the flame. “When you’re first years, we  _ want  _ you using them because you’re too inexperienced to exercise the control needed for nonverbal and wandless magic. By the time you get to your sixth year, you’re so  _ dependent  _ on them that you’ve forgotten how intuitive magic is.”

“Magic isn’t--”

“How many of us did things we couldn’t control as children? Made things float, set things on fire, made our teddy bears walk? Answer: all of us. Every wizarding child at some point in their lives has accidentally cast a wandless spell. And every time you wave your wand to turn a page in a book, or make your bed, or open the curtains, you’re casting a nonverbal spell.” Kylo tried not to grin. This wasn’t a bad lesson, if he did say so himself. The kids seemed rapt, at least. 

“If you’re ever put in a dangerous situation, if you ever need to defend yourself, the first thing your enemy is going to try to do is disarm and silence you.” Kylo twirled his wand in his fingers and then set it down loudly on his desk before spreading his hands. “So what?  _ Children  _ cast wandless, nonverbal spells accidentally all the time. If children can do it, you can be certain we can too.” Without touching it, Kylo wordlessly levitated the wand on the desk. 

“I’m not talking big magic. Strong spells. Yet. But little things-- using a flame to burn through bindings, creating a flash of light to blind your enemy momentarily, propelling an object into your path to block a curse-- these are all simple bits of magic that we can perform  _ wandlessly _ if the worst ever comes to pass. And accomplished duelists literally  _ never  _ use incantations when casting-- even the most powerful battle spells. But they all started here, where you are now. Now. I want you to try the spell again, but this time, I want you to think about how you use your wand on a daily basis. Think about the goblet you pull closer at dinner, the torn parchment you repair, the window you close without getting out of bed. And then cast your spell. Go.”

The kids went to work and within one minute, the Ravenclaw girl who’d asked him about the Knights had a flame flickering in front of her chest. 

For the first time, Kylo got to say, “Excellent, five points for Ravenclaw.”

He’d admit, it felt good. 

By the end of the class, every student had managed to cast the little flame at least once. 

Kylo didn’t realize he wasn’t the only instructor in the room until he was watching the children file out. He felt practically giddy with the successful lesson-- pleased with himself in a way he hadn’t been in a long time. Teaching came to him more easily than he thought it would. And it was more satisfying than his day to day Auror duties had been.

Leia had told him this particular class was one of the most talented she had seen in years, which is why he’d been so eager to start them on nonverbal spells. 

But even Leia hadn’t had an entire class  _ get  _ such a difficult topic in one lesson. 

So he was wearing a rather self-satisfied expression when he looked across the room and saw Hux. 

The other man was watching him with hooded eyes, arms crossed over his chest and hands hidden in the sleeves of his robes. Kylo stared at him in silence until the last student had filed out, held his gaze steadily, and then said, “Checking up on me?” 

“Yes. You’re a new instructor. I’d be remiss if I didn’t ensure you were.  _ Acclimating  _ to your role here.” 

Kylo waved his wand and started collecting his things. “And did I pass muster?” 

“Professor Organa didn’t begin nonverbal casting until week three with her sixth years.” 

Kylo shrugged. “I’m not Mom.” 

“You have a syllabus and you are expected to adhere to it.” 

Kylo let his hands fall and gave Hux his full attention. “Excuse me?” 

“You are an unskilled, untried professor in your first  _ week,”  _ Hux spat, voice lifting from soft control into fury in the span of a few words. “You  _ will  _ adhere to established protocol!”

“Hogwarts has never had  _ required  _ syllabi--” Kylo began, too stunned to be livid. But he was getting there.

Hux cut him off. “That is absolutely false. We have very strict standards for where our students should be by the end of each school year--”

“They’re  _ ahead  _ of schedule--”

“You spent no time in review. You spent no time laying out expectations for the coming school year. Year six is  _ pivotal  _ in preparing your students for their final year with us and their entrance into the wizarding world as  _ adults.  _ You are--”

“I know what the fuck I’m doing, Hux!” Kylo exploded. The glass in the windows creaked and Hux’s lips curled. 

“I am your  _ superior  _ and you  _ will not speak to me--” _

_ “I’ll speak to you however the hell I want.”  _ The window closest to the door cracked. Kylo didn’t notice. His chest was heaving. His skin was flushed. He was leaning into Hux in absolute fury, and without meaning too, he was getting little flashes of Hux _.  _

_ Insolent--hasn’t changed--spoiled brat--infuriating man--his eyes _

_ “What the fuck do my eyes have to do with anything?”  _

The room was suddenly very quiet. The window cracked again. 

Kylo felt it like a light switch being thrown, the way Hux closed his mind. One moment he was there, the next-- gone. Shuddered. Black darkness. Hux was no stranger to Occlumency himself it seemed.

His voice was viciously soft when he spat, “Control yourself.” 

“Get out of my classroom.” 

Hux’s nostrils flared. He was white faced and tight lipped when he said, “The headmistress will hear about this.” 

Kylo barked a disgusted peal of laughter. “Really,  _ professor?  _ You’re going to tell my  _ mommy?”  _

Hux’s upper lip twitched twice in a microexpression of pure condescending disgust. “You will adhere to the syllabus. Or you will find a new job. Even I have to teach this ridiculous class  _ myself.”  _

He turned on his heel in a sharp, smart twirl of immaculate black robes, and paused only to flick his wand furiously at the cracked window. The crack healed itself and then Hux was gone, slamming the door behind him. 

Kylo stared at the closed door in mounting fury, trying desperately to reign in his flaring temper, to focus, to control, to--

With a savage shout, he threw his hand up and the glass from all three windows shattered outward, temporarily raining the lawn with violent slivers of impotent rage. They lingered only for a moment, before a wave of his long aspen wand sent them careening back into their frames.

~~~

When Kylo later thought about the path he cut to the Quidditch pitch, he was embarrassed. He’d stalked through the halls like a hulking shadow and when the darkness on his face wasn’t enough to send the students (and Professor Mitaka) scattering out of his way, a vicious flick of his want did the trick. 

He’d stolen Poe’s Quaffle from the Quidditch shed and was running old Quidditch drills (having bewitched the Quaffle to fly in quick, random circles until he caught it) by the time he realized just how many people his fury had bled onto in transition from his classroom to the field. Lucky for him, the students’ Quidditch practices didn’t start until next week and the field was empty. He needed a good fly.

He made a particularly tricky catch and a few of the older students who were lounging in the stands cheered. 

A familiar voice said, “Show off.” 

Kylo drew up short, pulling his broom up hard, and turned to see Poe rising toward him, an angry bludger tucked under arm and trying furiously to escape. 

Kylo grunted and chucked the Quaffle away; it resumed its frantic circling. 

Poe whistled. “We’ll aren’t you just a joy.” 

“What do you want, Dameron?” 

Poe grinned and released the bludger. Kylo’s heart flew into his throat and he had to do an awkward barrel roll to avoid getting hit in the face. 

“You can’t make it too easy on yourself,” he said with a smirk as the bludger did a few loops and then came whistling back toward them. 

They flew in silence, avoiding the bludger and tossing the quaffle between them. Then Poe said, “Half the school saw you stampede down here.”

“So?” 

“ _ So  _ most of the students who  _ were  _ talking about ‘cool guy new professor’ Ren are now thoroughly terrified of you.” 

“What the fuck is with that Hux asshole?” Kylo exploded, so loudly he was sure some of the students heard him. 

“Ah,” Poe muttered. “What happened?”

So Kylo told him. Poe winced. 

“Does he traipse into your classroom and tell you how to give flying lessons?” Kylo demanded. “Do you have a  _ syllabus?”  _

“Fortunately for me, there’s really only one way to teach flying. At least at first. But, take it from me, Ben--” Kylo made a noise. “Kylo. I mean, Kylo. Whatever. Don’t piss the guy off anymore than you have. He’s a nightmare. I can see why Organa promoted him but.” Poe shuddered. “What he lacks in people skills he makes up for in organization I guess. Just. Play by his rules for a while. Until you're settled in. Once your mom’s shadow fades a little, you can teach however you want.” 

“I--”

“I know. I know. It’s bullshit. But. Trust me, here. It’s good advice.” 

Kylo nodded and dodged the bludger before flinging the quaffle at Poe. 

He’d always been terrible at taking advice. Particularly good advice. 

~~~

Hux started it. Kylo would always maintain that. It began with a comment in the hallway between classes, something small and snide that all the students heard. Kylo glowered at Hux’s back as he waltzed away, head held high and hair gleaming in the torchlight of the interior hallway. 

So of course, Hux started it and how could Kylo be blamed for ‘accidentally’ sticking Hux’s office door shut?

Hux knew it was him of course. Kylo denied it, but Hux still knew. Of course he did. 

Which is how Kylo knew Hux was holding his second years back in Charms and making them fifteen minutes late for their DADA class on purpose. 

Kylo lost track of the back and forth. The escalation. The furious glares and snide comments. The way even students started darting out of the way if they looked around and somehow realized Professor Ren and Professor Hux had ended up in the same hallway again. 

Kylo lost track of all of it. He just knew that when he slipped into Hux’s class on Halloween (Gryffindors, he noted. That was good) that Hux  _ deserved  _ this. 

It was the seventh years. The girl who had asked Kylo how old he was that first day (Melody something, her name was) saw him sneak in. He put a finger to his lips and she hid a grin before tapping her neighbor, a mousy boy with too many freckles, and jerking her head toward Kyo. The boy blanched, bit his lip, and ducked his head behind his book. 

Kylo slid into an empty seat in the shadow of the wall. 

Hux had his back turned, was writing on the chalkboard with a wave of his wand, lecturing. 

Kylo traced his wand through the air and golden letters appeared in sparkling glitter above Hux’s head.  _ I am a redheaded git. _

The giggle that started was soft, and afraid. People started turning in their seats, looking for the source of the spell. 

“Quiet!” Hux barked over his shoulder. 

The giggle ended abruptly. 

_ A right ginger prick _

It was louder this time. Hux tsked and turned his head. “I  _ said  _ be  _ quiet. _ Now, the key with this kind of conjuring charm is--”

_ Prissy Prefect Prat _

The laughter was too loud to ignore this time and Hux whirled around. “ _ What  _ on  _ earth--”  _ Too many of the students were turned in their chairs looking at Kylo. Hux’s eyes found him immediately. Kylo gave him a self-satisfied smirk. The seventh years had given up the pretext of paying attention and were all laughing outright. Hux’s eyes flicked skyward and all the color drained out of his face. 

Kylo had expected anger. Some light humiliation.

This was different. 

Hux’s face went flat and emotionless, but there was a screaming tightness in his jaw, a horrible glassiness in his pretty eyes, a limpid pallor to his delicate pale skin. 

Something nasty turned over in Kylo’s chest. This was supposed to be funny. Not--

When the children saw Hux’s face, their laughter died instantly. Kylo waved his wand and the words disappeared. 

Hux stood there for a long time staring at them all. The tips of his fingers were white against his wand. The longer he stood, the more the students changed. Went from amusement to. Terror. 

Hux looked at the girl sitting at the desk directly in front of him and said, very softly. “Move.” 

“Professor?” she squeaked. 

“Move.”

The girl stared at him dimly. 

Hux jerked his wrist and the room exploded into motion. The desks and chairs-- and students-- went scattering in two directions, opening a path directly to Kylo Ren. 

Kylo only just managed to get his wand up and cast the shield charm. Something heavy hit the brick wall and a huge chunk of stone came crashing to the floor. Kylo flug his wand arm out and Hux physically dodged with a rather elegant side step. 

Kylo was impressed. Hux was. Hux was strong. 

They flung spells back and forth and nothing connected. The students pressed themselves into the corners of the room. Hux kept up a constant barrage of attacks until Kylo had had  _ enough-- _

_ A crowd had formed in one of the dungeons. Students in green. A whole house. They all howled with laughter. Some pointed. Phasma-- younger, not a teacher, a student, a sixth year-- had her hand pressed to her mouth in horror. Professor Sloane was staring at Hux with her lips in a horrible thin line. They were. All.  _ Laughing--

Kylo slammed back into his own head and heard Hux hiss, “Bastard,” before something hot and heavy struck him in the chest. His back hit the wall, his arms stuck to his sides. He couldn’t move. Hux hurled another spell and something cold and sharp scraped across Kylo’s cheek. He felt it bleed. 

Hux raised his arm again. 

“ _ Enough!”  _

The room quaked when Kylo screamed. The books fell from the bookshelves. The desks broke apart at the seams. The single window blew out of the frame. 

Kylo’s feet hit the floor again-- he could move, he could--

He drew up short, watching Hux in abject hatred, arm raised in an obvious dare. Hux stared back, lips curled back from his teeth, hair disheveled, and wand arm forward, waiting to cast his shield spell. 

Neither of them moved. 

Kylo became aware very slowly of the fact that all the students had managed to move and were huddled in one corner; the duel was blocking their way to the door. Kylo chanced a glance at them and all at once, every single one of them flinched. 

The nasty thing in Kylo’s chest skittered into his throat. He lowered his wand. 

Hux followed Kylo’s eyes to the mass of children and something in his face changed. 

Kylo’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, and softer than he meant it to be. “Can anyone. Can anyone tell me why, uh. Why in a real duel Professor Hux would have won this fight?” 

No one spoke. The students exchanged confused glances. Hux narrowed his eyes. 

Kylo’s hand shook when he waved his wand. The window and the desks and the books all started putting themselves back together. “Control.” His voice was a little louder this time, a little surer. A little falser. “The wizard who. Controls his emotions, stays the course. Is the one who. Triumphs.” 

Hux added softly, and with an unmistakable edge to his voice, “No matter how strong his opponent is.” 

Kylo felt his upper lip twitch.

Hux said, “Class dismissed.” 

The students rushed the door in one go and they were alone. 

“You think that worked?” Kylo hissed. 

“Not at all.” Hux was still staring at him like a snake, like Kylo might strike at any moment. 

“When I was in your head--”

“Don’t.”

“What was that?”

“You don’t remember?” Hux asked viciously. 

“I wasn’t there,” Kylo protested. “What--”

“I said leave it alone, Kylo,” Hux said dangerously. “I  _ would  _ have won this fight.” 

Kylo laughed humorlessly. “I never lose, Hux.” 

“You’ve never dueled me.” 

“Doesn’t matter. I was in your head. I can take whatever I want.” He shoved his hair out of his eyes; he was dripping with sweat. Hux’s pupils flared out, suddenly fat and dilated. Kylo saw him swallow. 

“You really think so?” 

“I know so.”

“Go ahead and try,” Hux said and lifted his chin. He had a long, pale neck, slender and elegant. 

Kylo shook his head and he wasn’t entirely sure why. 

Hux snorted. “You haven’t changed at all.” 

“What are you  _ talking  _ about?” Kylo demanded, voice rising instantly when he stepped forward. “You don’t  _ know  _ me--”

“Yes, I do, Ben, I know  _ exactly  _ what kind of man you are and you may be a little taller and a little--” Hux swallowed again. “--wider, but you’re still the same spoiled.” Hux took a step forward. “Selfish.” And another. “ _ Arrogant--”  _

He was too close now, but Kylo couldn’t,  _ wouldn’t  _ give ground, he  _ absolutely  _ refused to move a step. 

“Insolent, immature  _ child  _ you always were--” He was breathing in Kylo’s face, fuming and hissing but it sounded like a yell and there was an awful rushing in Kylo’s head and he realized it was. It was Hux. Pressing at his temples, assaulting him with pure fury and he--

_ “Shh, quiet, Ben, someone will hear you!” _

_ “Sorry, sorry, I just,  _ fuck,  _ oh my God, Armie--”  _

Kylo lashed out with a gasp for air and his hand fisted in the robes at the base of Hux’s throat. Hux’s voice died in chest.

Kylo squeezed the robes between his fingers and felt his whole world shift, just the tiniest bit, to the right. Every hot, angry glance, every hissed insult, every long held glare and curled fist and tight jaw and-- That had been him in that dream, in that memory, in Hux’s head like that and how had he gotten there, how,  _ how _ did Hux remember  _ that. _

Hux stood very still and let Kylo catch his breath, let his heart rate fall. 

Kylo said, “Why am I in your head.” 

None of it made sense. All he knew was that when he touched Hux, when his fingers brushed the skin on Hux’s neck there was  _ something  _ there, that somehow he knew exactly the heat of Hux’s chest, the way his fingers would sink against Hux’s skin, how soft and smooth it would be. Hux was sweating and Kylo could smell him like a perfume, heady and all around him and his own skin was prickling with it. God, the  _ scent  _ of him was so familiar, so utterly close it made Kylo’s chest feel tight, made his heart ache and his head swim with memories he couldn’t quite see. 

He dropped Hux’s robes and took a step back. “Why am I in your head like that?” he wasn’t angry anymore. He was. Scared. “Armie?”

Something in Hux’s face cracked and Kylo thought of the way he’d looked when he realized the class was laughing at him, that Kylo had been sketching words above his head and what a  _ betrayal  _ that had been though Kylo had no idea why. His heart was beating so fast. 

Hux looked down at the ground. Licked his lips. When he looked back up there was steel in his eyes. “I can show you.”

Kylo didn’t need further invitation. 

_ He was in a hallway in an empty part of the castle. Everything was still. He took a step forward, looked around, trying to figure out exactly where he was. _

_ A tall, lanky boy with dark hair came careening around the corner and slammed into the door in front of Kylo. It wouldn’t budge. The boy wordlessly hit it with a spell and it opened; Kylo followed him as he dashed inside and slammed it shut behind him. He locked it with his wand.  _

_ The boy stood there for a long time, chest heaving, staring at the door. Outside, Kylo heard someone shout, “This way! He went this way!” Two sets of footsteps grew louder and then softer.  _

_ The boy breathed a sigh of relief.  _

_ “That was a close one.”  _

_ The boy jumped and whirled around.  _

_ A tall, lithe redheaded boy in Slytherin robes and a Head Boy badge was staring back at him. The boy was sitting on the floor in a pile of conjured green pillows, surrounded on all sides by books and parchment.  _

_ The dark-haired boy said, “Oh, shit.”  _

_ “Who was chasing you?”  _

_ “Uh. Uh. Just. Just these guys, you know? These seventh years from Ravenclaw?” _

_ “Why?”  _

_ “I sorta. Hey, you’re not gonna rat me out, are you?”  _

_ “I couldn’t care less what two Ravenclaw boys want with you,” the redhead said with a dignified sniff. He lowered his head back to his school work. “But you’ll have to find some other place to hide.” He lifted his wand and pointed it at the door.  _

_ “Alright, alright,” the boy drawled. “I sorta. Bewitched all their quills to only write dirty words and Professor Sloane maybe thought they were trying to cheat on their Transfiguration test.”  _

_ The redhead snorted and lowered his wand. “Aren’t you--?” _

_ “Ben Solo,” Ben said. He put his back to the door and sat down.  _

_ “I was gonna say Professor Organa’s son.”  _

_ Ben rolled his eyes. “Yeah. That’s me. Who are you?”  _

_ “Armie Hux,” Armie said.  _

_ Ben pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Whatcha studying?”  _

_ Armie looked back down at his books. “Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Organa has us taking a practice test for the N.E.W.T.s tomorrow.”  _

_ Ben pulled a face. “She’s got us practicing for the O.W.L.s.” _

_ Armie nodded sympathetically. Then he shrugged. “Well, anyway, I think your Ravenclaws are gone.” _

_ “Yeah.” Ben craned his neck to see Armie’s work. Armie arched a brow.  _

_ “What are you doing?” _

_ “Seven’s a trick question.”  _

_ “What?” _

_ “She always does that,” Ben said, rolling his eyes. “She tried to explain it to my dad one time. It’s one of her ‘techniques.’ She expects you all to get it wrong so she can start a lesson on it.”  _

_ Armie crossed his arms over his chest. “So. What’s the right answer then?”  _

_ So Ben told him.  _

_ Kylo watched the two boys chat. Watched himself complain about having a professor for a mom and a headmaster for an uncle. Watched Hux admit Professor Sloane paid just a little more attention to him than she did to anyone else. Watched Ben wiggle closer and point out another error in Hux’s DADA homework. Watched Armie. Let him.  _

_ Kylo could tell Ben knew Armie didn’t need help with his homework. He was Head Boy. Aside from the few trick questions he was supposed to get wrong, his work was immaculate.  _

_ “You’re pretty good at this,” Armie said grudgingly. “This is N.E.W.T. level work.” _

_ Ben shrugged one shoulder. “It’s just Defense I’m good at. You should see my History of Magic grades.” _

_ “That’s my second best subject,” Armie preened. “After Charms.” He eyed Ben carefully and then he said, with spots of color in his cheeks, “I could. Help you. If you want.”  _

_ “You’d help me?” Ben asked. “Why’d you wanna do that? I’m just a fifth year. And a Gryffindor at that.” Ben grinned. “We’re already winning the house cup this year and they just moved me from Chaser to Keeper so we’re going to cream you at the next Quidditch match.”  _

_ “I don’t like Quidditch,” Armie said with a shrug.  _

_ Ben gaped at him. “What do you mean you  _ don’t like Quidditch?” 

_ Armie shrugged again. “Never really understood.”  _

_ “Like, the  _ rules?” 

_ “No, I get that. I mean the appeal. It’s a bunch of balls and broomsticks. Who cares?” _

_ “No. No! You. Do you not like to fly? Do you not understand what. How. How  _ beautiful  _ it is?”  _

_ “I hate to fly.”  _

_ “No! You just. You probably just don’t know how.”  _

_ “Of course, I  _ know how,  _ I just--” _

_ “You have to let me show you.” _

_ “What?”  _

_ “Come on, Armie, let me show you! Give me an hour and I bet you’ll never look at flying the same way again.” _

_ “I have to  _ study.” 

_ “Take a break!” _

_ Ben pestered him for ten more minutes before he finally consented.  _

_ Kylo watched it all. Watched Ben and Armie sneak down to the Quidditch pitch, even though they were supposed to be in their common rooms in thirty minutes. Armie kept grinning and looking around surreptitiously like he couldn’t believe what he was doing. Ben kept grinning like a boy in his element.  _

_ Kylo watched Ben coach Armie onto the broomstick, watched him spend an hour pontificating on the beauties of flight.  _

_ Watched Armie’s broomstick move from jerky little turns to smooth loops in the span of an hour. Ben was a good teacher.  _

_ They were leaving, sneaking back to the castle and passing under the stands when Armie’s long slender arm snaked out and caught Ben by the shoulder. But it was Ben who whirled around and slammed him to the wooden base of the stands, brought their lips together like it was all he’d wanted to do since the moment he saw the other boy staring back at him in the soft torch light.  _

_ Kylo couldn’t watch anymore. It felt wrong. They were  _ kids.  _ Even if one of them was him.  _

_ He couldn’t remember. Couldn’t remember at all and it didn’t quite feel like he was watching himself because he couldn’t make his understanding of his own fifth year jive with these new images. He should have remembered this. He could see on his own face how much Ben-- how he was so  _ enthralled _ and he should have remembered this.  _

_ Behind him, he heard his younger self say, “ _ Fuck,  _ you’re a really good kisser.”  _

_ “Really?” _

_ “What? Yeah! Like you didn’t know?”  _

_ “I’ve never had much cause to. Practice. I guess.”  _

_ “Bullshit.”  _

_ “We should go back to the castle. If they catch us out here-- oh my God,  _ your mother.”

_ “Oh. Good point. Fuck. Okay. Um. You can. You can take me back to the main staircase and if anyone catches us you can tell them you found me hiding on the Quidditch pitch. Oh! You can take five points from Gryffindor!”  _

_ “Why would I be out on the Quidditch pitch?” Armie scoffed.  _

_ “You fell asleep studying?” Ben suggested.  _

_ Armie chuckled. “Alright.” The two boys scrambled apart and Kylo felt like less of a creep watching them. He turned back to look. Armie was straightening his hair. “I. This isn’t really something I. Do.”  _

_ “Oh,” Ben said and it was very clear this wasn’t his first time under the bleachers. “You wanna. You wanna do it again sometime?” _

_ “Yes.”  _

_Ben grinned. “Cool.”_ _  
_ “You,” Kylo gasped when he fell back into his own head. “How could you just _Obliviate_ \--”

“Maybe I’ll tell you sometime,” Hux spat. He pushed passed Kylo, heading for the door, and Kylo reached out without thinking, put his hands on Hux’s chest and pinned him to the wall like he’d done all those years ago beneath the Quidditch stands. 

And when their lips came together, when Hux fisted rough hands in Kylo’s hair, and Kylo tugged Hux’s lip with his teeth, he thought maybe, just maybe, he was starting to remember.

Hux pushed him off with the hands in his hair, squeezed his eyes shut and said, “Bloody hell.” 

Kylo barked a short, confused peal of laughter and leaned in again, but Hux held him back. 

There was a strange, bitter fondness in his voice when he said, “Like I said. You haven’t changed at all.”

“You don’t know that. Seventeen years is a long time.” 

“Not long enough. Get away from me.” 

“What the fuck did I  _ do  _ to you, Hux?” Kylo demanded. “You know who should be mad right now is me. You fucking. Fucked with my  _ mind.  _ You stole my  _ memories--” _

“You’re one to talk! What have you been doing if not plucking thoughts out of my head every time we’ve seen each other since I hired you?”

“I can’t help it,” Kylo glowered. “You keep throwing them at me.”

Hux scoffed and stepped away from the wall, smoothed his hands over his hair like he had seventeen years ago and Kylo bit his lip when the strangest wave of deja vu he had ever felt washed over him. He couldn't remember ever seeing Hux do this. But he’d just seen Hux do this after  _ kissing  _ him. But Hux had only been seventeen and Kylo was a  _ grown man  _ but Hux had been kissing him and he’d been fifteen and really what was protocol here because this was just getting to be fucking strange. 

“It must have been bad,” Kylo prodded, voice half questioning. “Or you’re just. A really  _ horrible  _ person.” Maybe it was both. 

“Just let it go, So-- Ren. Let it go, Ren.” 

“No. Do you have any idea what it’s like, missing something like this? Do have any idea how. How frustrating it is to-- I  _ recognize  _ the way you smell and I don’t know why.” 

Hux’s eyes went wide, brows furrowing in something like horror and something like pride. 

“Yeah,” Kylo muttered, taking a step forward again. Hux fell back against the wall. “I like it. I  _ really  _ like it, like I can  _ feel  _ it in my chest.” His voice had gotten low, rumbling in his chest. Hux’s eyelids were fluttering and he was leaning away from Kylo, pressing his head to the wall. 

Kylo knew what he was doing. He wasn’t fifteen anymore. He’d learned a few things. 

“Right here. All warm and. Intimate.” He grabbed Hux’s hand and pressed it to his own chest, low between his pectorals and leaned in. Hux’s breath puffed out of him in little gasps. “And it’s strange, you know? Having no context for something like that. I  _ need  _ context, Hux.”

“You. You’re.” 

“Show me.” 

“You’re much bigger than you used to be,” Hux muttered, voice high and almost nonsensical. Kylo felt Hux’s fingers flutter against his chest. 

Kylo gave Hux a slow, dirty grin and let his eyes scrape over Hux from head to toe when he said, “Yeah. I am.” 

Hux pushed him hard and by the time he righted himself, Hux was gone, slamming the door to the Charms classroom closed behind him. 

Kylo sank into a desk chair and tried to slow the pounding in his chest.

He felt like he was fifteen again. Like the slightest glance from a pair of pretty green eyes would have him half crazy with need, even while his thirty two year old brain told him he was an idiot and he should want to murder Hux, not fuck him. 

But no matter how hard he tried to be angry, he could only picture Hux, pale and mortified with  _ Prissy Prefect Prat  _ dangling over his head in gold. It made him wonder if whatever he’d done to Hux to get himself Obliviated in the first place wasn’t worth the curse after all.   



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, with Surprise Plot!
> 
> So I promise the prompt will be answered soon! The smut is coming, my friends. <3

Hux was already staring at the ceiling when the little glass ball on his bed side table started to glow. He let it build up to its gentle chime before he said, “Oh, shut up.” The little ball complied. 

He needed to get out of bed. He  _ needed  _ to get out of bed, but that meant going down to breakfast, that meant seeing all those students, that meant seeing  _ him.  _

Hux had already skipped one meal and he wouldn’t skip another. He refused. 

He started rethinking his determination when he stepped into the Great Hall. 

The Gryffindor table was closest to the door and the moment Hux stepped into the room, an ominous whisper startled circulating through the students. Hux would never understand that-- how the Great Hall actually got  _ quieter  _ when someone worth talking about came in. 

Hux did a very good job of ignoring it and took his usual seat next to Phasma. He was not happy to see that  _ he  _ wasn’t there because Hux didn’t care (he did not care) where  _ he  _ was at all. 

Phasma turned and looked at him when he sat down, a goblet of pumpkin juice halfway to her lips. Then she very obviously didn’t say a damn word. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Hux spat. 

“Like what?” 

“Like you.  _ Know  _ something.”

“I don’t know anything a few hundred teenagers don’t.” 

“Phasma.” 

“Hux.” 

“Phasma.” 

“Hey, you can talk to me about it whenever you’re ready, hon. Take your time.” 

“I have  _ no idea  _ what you’re talking about.” 

Phasma mumbled in conciliatory consent and took another sip of her pumpkin juice. Hux stared into his empty plate for a good minute before he jerked his head up to offer a furious insult and choked on his words. 

Kylo Ren dropped heavily into the empty seat on Hux’s right, and leaned in, huge shoulders taking up far too much space, and  _ hell,  _ Hux was almost convinced there wasn’t any room for air left when Ren was leaning that close to him. Phasma hummed and turned her head in the opposite direction. 

“We need to talk,” Ren rumbled, all the bass in his voice making the hair on the back of Hux’s neck stand up. “I want--”

“No,” Hux replied, tight lipped and furious. “We do not. I have nothing to say to you and I am  _ trying  _ to eat my bacon.”

“Uh,” Ren said eloquently. 

Hux didn’t have to look down to realize his plate was empty. “Phasma.” The word slipped out from between clenched teeth, higher than it usually was. Phasma wordlessly handed Hux the dish of bacon and he shoveled about six pieces too many onto the golden plate in front of him. 

Ren shifted in his seat and Hux absolutely did not notice him lean in even closer. “Listen, Armitage--” 

Phasma snorted into her goblet. Hux was seething when he said, “ _ Professor. Hux.”  _

“You want me to call you ‘professor’ now?” 

“I want you to  _ go away.” _

“Could you just--”

“You two.” Hux and Ren both jerked in their seats. “I need to see you both  _ now.”  _ Organa was livid; that much Hux could see at a glance. He blinked and tried to remember a time when Professor Organa had ever been anything less than thrilled with his work and felt his stomach flip over. 

“Can’t this wait?” Ren asked, surly and not at all concerned with the fire sparking from Organa’s eyes. Apparently Ren hadn’t inherited his flashfire temper from his father.

“No.” 

Ren groaned like a teenaged boy and said, “ _ Fine,”  _ before he pushed out of the seat. 

They followed her out of the Great Hall and up the stairs to her office. No one spoke a single word for the entire journey, but Ren  _ did  _ keep walking just a little too close. Hux finally elbowed him in the side when Organa wasn’t looking and he backed off after that. 

Organa was standing behind her desk when she finally said, “ _ Dueling? In the middle of class?” _

Hux had nothing to say to her. How could he  _ possibly  _ explain what had happened? 

“Leia,” he began very somberly, determined to maintain some margin of professionalism. 

Ren interrupted. “That’s what this is all about?” He chuckled, that horrible deep voice rolling through the room like distant thunder. “God, Mom, I thought something was wrong.” 

“Ben--”

“Kylo.” 

“ _ Ben.  _ Explain yourself this instant.” 

“You’re using your ‘mom voice’ though,” Ren complained. Hux tried not to look at him. “So are you like, mom-mad, or is this headmistress-mad?”

“ _ Both.”  _

“Alright, calm down. Look, it was just a misunderstanding. The kids are really taking it seriously?” he chuckled and elbowed Hux. “I knew you shouldn’t have just dismissed them like that.” 

“I--” Hux stuttered.

“Look, Ma, it was just a demonstration! Hux said his seventh years were having trouble with non-verbal spells and wandless stuff.” Ren waved his hand absently and a few sparks shot from the tips of his fingers.

Hux blinked. The seventh year Gryffindors were  _ notoriously  _ bad for forgetting to stay quiet for most of their castings. 

“So you--?”

“Staged a duel, yeah,” Ren said with a grin. He plopped down into one of Organa’s seats and threw his hands behind his head. “Was a pretty good one! But.” Kylo shrugged and tossed Hux a truly dashing grin that made Hux’s cheeks feel warm. “I let Hux get the jump on me so they could see some real stuff. I guess we pulled it off a little too well though.” 

“I don’t believe a word that boy says,” the elder Professor Skywalker said to Organa, arms crossed over his chest. 

“What!” Ren exclaimed. “I’m great at non-verbal dueling. Almost as good as you were.” 

Anakin Skywalker snorted and said, “I doubt that, boy.”   
Organa said, “Armitage?” 

“Uh. Ma’am?”

“Is this true?” 

Hux looked down at Ren out of the corner of his eye. Ren’s face was a picture of innocence, smooth and open and not the slightest bit guilty. Hux said, “Of course, Leia. Do you really think two professors would start a duel in the middle of a class?” He laughed coldly and was happy when he sounded plausibly affronted. “Clearly the students are, uh, elaborating on reality for their friends. You know how they all are. Dueling. Honestly,” he added with a forced chuckle. He pointedly ignored the sly smile Ren was giving him from the chair.

“Work with Ben a little longer,” she said with a scowl aimed at Ren. “And you’ll see why that was absolutely not outside the realm of possibility.” 

“You make me sound like some kind of ne'er do well,” Ren complained, tilting forward in his seat and putting his elbows on Organa’s desk. “I can do things good.” 

Hux snorted without meaning too. Ren’s smirk grew just a fraction wider. Bollocks.

Even Organa’s lips twitched in amusement. “Well. If you plan to stage such  _ exciting  _ lessons in the future I would appreciate it if you ran it by me first? Hmm?”

“Sure, Ma.” 

“Of course, Leia.” 

“Oh, very well. I suppose you still have breakfast to attend to.” Organa dropped into her seat and started thumbing through the pile of papers on her desk. “I’m glad to see you’re working with the other professors, Ben, honey,” she added absently. “Armitage will be a good influence on you, I’m sure.” 

“An influence on me,” Ren muttered innocently. Hux felt his stomach flop over again. “Sure, yeah. A good one.”

“Off to breakfast with you then.” She turned her attention fully to the papers at hand and Hux had no choice but to follow Ren out into the spiraling stairwell.

The moment the door closed, Hux felt like all the air had left the room again. Ren was so much  _ bigger  _ than he had been when Hux had known him, so much wider and more imposing. Hux had the very unhelpful thought that Ren could probably carry Hux over his shoulder if he wanted too without much effort at all. 

It was a  _ very  _ unhelpful thought. 

Ren turned in the stairwell and Hux was sure his huge shoulders were going to bump both walls at the same time. “Alone at last.” 

“If you lay a hand on me I will conjure it off,” Hux snapped viciously. Ren grinned at him, a wide, crooked grin that-- that hadn’t changed at all. Hux focused instead on the scar that ran over his eyebrow and along the side of his nose; that was new. That wasn’t at all like he had been. When he was still Ben. 

Ren lifted his scarred brow and Hux realized staring at the scar was not a Good Idea after all. “You’re a very frustrating man. Did you know that?” 

“Yes,” Hux replied stubbornly. “And you are an oversized ape with a wand. Now get out of my way. You’ve already ruined my breakfast and I’ll not have you making me late for my first lesson.” 

“How come she gets to call you Armitage?”

“ _She,”_ Hux drawled furiously. “Has known me since I was eleven and refuses to call me anything else no matter how many times I request it of her. _You_ will call me Hux.”

“I will, will I?” Kylo put one his shoulders against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke. He practically  _ purred  _ the words and Hux was forced to ignore a sudden tremor of heat that darted down his spine and pulled in his stomach. Ren added, “ _ Professor?”  _

Hux bit the inside of his cheek so hard it immediately started to bleed. “You will,” he spat, as coldly as he could muster.  _ This. Man. _ “Now get out of my way.” Hux made to shove past, and Ren straightened immediately.

“We need to talk,” Ren insisted, voice catching a spark of heat as he spoke. He’d been like that yesterday-- so quick to anger the slightest ember might set him to blazing. Hux had almost forgotten. 

He shook his head to clear it. “We have  _ nothing  _ to talk about. We are  _ colleagues.  _ Unless you intend to. To pose a question about the best wand technique for a summoning charm, or the easiest way to conjure a goldfish, I don’t want to hear from you.” 

The gargoyle was waiting for them to step off the staircase and as Hux finished speaking, he finally did shove his way past Ren and absolutely did  _ not  _ notice how solid and hot his chest was when Hux laid his hand there. He didn’t care at all about such things. 

“Come on!” Ren called after him. “We’ve got thirty minutes until the first lesson!” 

Hux ignored him and instead cut a path straight for the hospital wing. He wasn’t hungry anyway with the way his stomach was twisting. And taken together with the heat in his skin and his inability to focus on anything important for more than a few seconds, Hux was thoroughly convinced he was coming down with something. Maybe one of the muggle borns had brought some strange muggle illness into the castle. That had to be it. 

“Hux!” Ren called after him but didn’t give chase. “Armitage!” Hux rounded the corner and heard one last sentiment, whispered to the gargoyle instead of shouted down the hall. “God damn it.” 

And then he couldn’t hear Kylo Ren at all. 

 

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Armitage.” 

“Check again!” Hux replied indignantly. “My heart is racing and my hands are clammy and my stomach is in  _ knots--” _

“That’s anxiety,” Rose replied, voice far too bright and peppy when Hux was dying on her exam table. She turned away from Hux and tapped her wand three times on the rim of a dented goblet. She lifted the goblet and held it out. “And this will help, but you’ll have to figure out what’s making you anxious in the first place if you want me to be able to pose an actual cure.” 

“I  _ know  _ what anxiety is,” Hux snapped, snatching the goblet from her hand. “This is  _ different.”  _ He downed the foul tasting liquid in one gulp and shoved the goblet back into the nurse’s hands. 

She gave him a wide smile that deepened the dimples in her round cheeks. “You’re perfectly healthy. That’s the best I can do for you right now.” 

Hux scowled and resisted the urge to mutter ‘than what good are you’ under his breath. Madam Rose was one of the few Hogwarts employees who didn’t wince at the mere sight of him. Maybe he had a bit of a soft spot for her. 

That and the potion fizzing in his gut was already doing wonders to ease some of the tension in his shoulders-- although it did nothing for the knots in his stomach. 

“Have a good day, Professor!” she called to Hux’s back. Hux lifted a hand in farewell which was more than he would do for anyone else in this godforsaken castle. 

 

Ren was  _ everywhere.  _ He was just.  _ Everywhere.  _ Every corner Hux rounded, every little used hallway he rerouted to, Ren was just  _ there  _ like some oversized crow waiting for a chance at something shiny. And Hux was the shiny. 

By dinner time Hux couldn’t take it anymore: he locked himself in his office with a very large glass of firewhiskey and for the first time in years pulled his pensieve out of its normal place in a little used closet. He was just dropping a few choice strands of silvery memory into the basin when someone knocked on his door. 

His voice was tight and nearly unrecognizable when he said, “ _ What?”  _

“Hux? Don’t talk to me like that,” Phasma deadpanned from the other side of the door. Hux flicked his wand and the door sprung open. “What are you doing in here? Are you skipping dinner?” 

“He’s.  _ Following  _ me.” 

“He’s what?” Phasma demanded, alarm in her voice. 

“He is following me, Phasma. Everywhere I go. There he is, just _there. Leering_ at me. I’m going to go mad.”  

“So you’re  _ hiding?”  _ she replied incredulously. “Since when do  _ you  _ hide?” 

“I’ll admit this wasn’t plan A,” Hux muttered before taking a huge swing of the firewhiskey.

“What does he want?” 

Somehow, Hux hadn’t expected Phasma to ask that. “I. What do you mean what does he want?” 

Phasma shrugged. “You haven’t seen each other in what, fifteen years?” 

“Seventeen.” 

“Seventeen years. Why’s he so interested all of a sudden?”

Hux leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “I. He doesn’t. He doesn’t remember anything. About. Us.”

Phasma blinked at him and he took another swig of firewhiskey. “What do you mean. He  _ doesn’t remember?  _ How can he  _ not remember,  _ you were--”

“Oh, don’t say it,” Hux muttered, pulling a face. 

“How do you forget something like that?” She stood abruptly and whirled toward the door. “I’m gonna kick his ass!” 

“No. Phas. Sit down. He doesn’t remember because I used a Forgetfulness charm on him, alright? He had no idea we even knew each other until yesterday.” 

“You did  _ what?”  _

“I know it was foolish.” 

“ _ Foolish?  _ Hux, I’d call this a lot of things but I’m not sure ‘foolish’ is one of them. How could you  _ do  _ something like that?” 

“I was seventeen,” Hux said with a groan. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“ _ Obviously. _ ” Phasma put her cheek in her hand. “You idiot. So he has no idea what happened. None at all?” 

“No. But. Yesterday. When we.” 

“Didn’t duel?” 

“Yes, exactly. I. May have. Shown him the night we met.” 

“Why. Why. Why would you do that. He didn’t know. So why would you do that, Hux?” 

“He’s a rather skilled Legilimens,” Hux muttered under his breath. “He keeps taking things out of my head every chance he gets. When I know he’s doing it I can stop him, but I was never particularly adept at mind magics and if I’m not prepared he can just. Take whatever he wants.”

“That’s. That’s not alright.” Phasma’s voice had dropped to an incredulous whisper. “He shouldn’t be rooting around in your brain like that.”

“I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose,” Hux admitted, the firewhiskey making him uncharacteristically kind. “The man is a lit fuse. I’ve never seen a wizard so strong with so little control over himself.”

“That’s foreboding. And you thought it was a good idea to put this man around  _ children? _ ” 

“I don’t think the students are in any danger,” Hux conceded. “When we. When we  _ didn’t  _ duel, it was the students that brought him back to himself. They were scared of him. I think it upset him.” 

“So. Let me get this straight,” Phasma said carefully. “You thought it was a  _ good  _ idea to wipe the memory of the first person you ever loved after he  _ humiliated  _ you in front of our entire house  _ and  _ Professor Sloane-- who you idolized-- and he has  _ no idea  _ what happened between you two, and now, the only thing he does know is how you met seventeen years ago-- which you have described, by the way, as instant attraction. Does that about sum things up?”

“Yes,” Hux replied miserably. 

“You’re fucked.” 

“I know.” 

“Completely fucked. You have to tell him what happened. Otherwise he’s just going to keep. Coming for you.” 

Hux sighed heavily and drained the rest of his firewhiskey. “You are no help at all, do you know that?”

“You dug this pit for yourself, hon. Not my fault I can’t pull you out.” 

The worst part was, she was right. 

 

He fell asleep in his office, after Phasma finally left to go grade papers, she said. When he woke up the bottle of firewhiskey was over half empty, the room was pulsing gently in all the corners, and Hux had a horrible pain throbbing behind his left eye. 

He groaned when he sat up. The castle was quiet. Hogwarts always had an air about it, after hours. No matter where he was, no matter how alone he found himself, everything always seemed stiller and softer when the students were in their common rooms and half the staff were asleep or had gone home for the evening. 

He scrubbed his hand over his face and tugged his robes into place. As Slytherin Head of House, Hux’s room was down in the dungeons, only a short walk from the Slytherin common room. But as Charms instructor, his office was nearest the Charms classroom, in one of the towers. It would be a long, quiet walk to his room. Maybe it would clear his head. Maybe the autumn air that chilled all the corridors would chase away the too-hot feeling the firewhiskey had left in his chest. 

He stepped into the hallway and all the heat under his ribs flared in a horrible burst that felt almost like missing a step and almost like opening an oven at the same time.

Ren was sitting across from his door, head thrown back against the stone, wand twirling absently between his long fingers. He was staring at his free hand, shooting patterns in fire between his fingertips like miniature fireworks. It was beautiful, complex magic and he was staring at his own hand in boredom, no more engaged than he might be doodling while his students took a test.

Hux felt all the blood leave his face and rush from his fingers and toes, felt it pulse in a terrible wave at the very center of his existence. Ren blinked sleepily at him and said, without any preamble, “What did I do to you?” The little fires went out.

Hux stared at him and tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. If he ran away now it would be just that: running away. He had no classes to attend to, nowhere to be. Tomorrow was Saturday. He didn’t even have to wake up early if he didn’t want to.

“I’ve done a lot of. A lot of really shitty things in my life. But I remember all of them. I know all my sins and I have to learn to learn to live with every one.” He pointed at Hux with the tip of his wand. “But all I know about you is once, a really long time ago before I was. Before. Once I looked at you and I. We.” Ren shook his head and his eyes rolled to the ceiling. “So what did I do you to you? I’ve gotta know, Hux,” he concluded with a bitter smile, looking back. “The kind of man I am. The kind of things I can do. You’ve gotta tell me what it was because part of me thinks the shit I’m coming up with on my own is way worse than it could possibly be, but then there’s another part of me.” Ren’s eyes grew cold like stone and his back got just a little stiffer. “The smarter part. That knows exactly what I’m capable of. That knows it could be so much worse.” Hux felt a chill dance up his spine. “Please.”

Hux looked at him then-- really looked at him. Hux had been afraid to stare too closely, afraid of the boy he’d see looking back at him. Kylo Ren had Ben’s unruly yet luxurious hair. He had Ben’s smirk, the easy tilt of Ben’s hips, Ben’s unnerving way of putting everyone around him at ease. 

But in this man’s eyes, Hux saw things he’d never seen in Ben Solo. Darkness. Fear. Anger. And not the fleeting, temperamental anger he’d had as a boy, the kind that flared and burned and died. Ren had the kind of anger that simmered. The kind that didn’t leave. That would never leave. Hux wasn’t sure who Kylo Ren was. But he was certain he was not Ben Solo. 

In a way, that made things easier. 

Ben Solo was dead.

When Hux still didn’t speak, Ren cleared his throat. There was color in his cheeks when he asked, “Did I. Hurt you?”

“Obviously,” Hux spat before he could stop himself. 

Ren shook his head. “I mean. Physically.” 

The question made Hux’s eyes go wide. Ben Solo had been emotional and temperamental and passionate. But he’d never been violent. “No.” He almost made the word sound like a question. 

Ren relaxed against the wall and the stone in his eyes cracked. “That’s good.” 

Hux could run. He could retreat to his room and down the rest of the firewhiskey and let Ren stew in his dark fantasies. 

But then Ren would still be there tomorrow. And the day after. And he’d already proven himself to be doggedly determined. 

Hux crossed the corridor and held out the bottle. Ren took it. 

“Why are you even bothering to ask me?” Hux muttered, sinking down on the floor beside him. “You said yourself you could just take it.” 

Ren smirked bitterly. “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Took me a long time to figure that out and I’m trying to. To remember.” 

Hux watched Ren take a swig from the bottle and then pass it back and felt the fog around Ren rearrange itself a little. Hux wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting. A thicker, surer version of Ben Solo perhaps. But Ren was so different, a shadow instead of a sunbeam. He’d never realized there was any chance that Ben, even with his temper and his disregard for authority, could ever grow into the former rather than the later. 

“It was a long time ago,” Hux conceded. “And I don’t want to relieve it. I didn’t particularly like being seventeen.” Even as he spoke the words, he knew they weren’t really what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask Ren who he was. What he’d done with Ben. What had happened to him. 

“We were together?” Ren asked. 

Hux swigged and nodded. 

“Together, together? Exclusive?”

Hux gave Ren a sideways glare. 

Ren chuckled. “I wasn’t exactly prone to monogamy at that age, alright?”

Hux shrugged and tried to hand over the bottle but Ren pushed it away. 

“I shouldn’t. When I drink too much I get a little. Uh. Sparky.” A spray of red shot from his fingertips in demonstration. 

“Remarkable.” 

“Not really. It’s like I was saying in your class yesterday-- a lack of control. I’m working on it.” 

“I meant remarkable that seventeen years later you still can’t control yourself like a normal adult.” 

“You’re an ass.” 

“Yes, I am.” 

“How long?” 

“What?” 

“How long were we together?” 

“Six months.” 

Ren whistled. “When I was fifteen?” He shook his head. “I must have liked you.” 

Hux chuckled bitterly. “Oh, must you have?” 

Ren shrugged. “Yeah. I had flings at that age. You know. A pretty girl under the Quidditch stands. Cute boy in the restricted section of the library. Never for more than a few weeks until,” Ren paused and grinned. “Ha. Dameron, actually.” 

Hux looked up at him sharply. “You dated Dameron?” 

“Yeah. Most of seventh year. Secretly, of course. Woulda been kinda weird for our friends, we figured. Since we’d been friends for so long. Slept in the same dorm and all.” Ren shook his head and chuckled. “God, that feels like such a long time ago. I haven’t thought about that in. Years. You know he was my first, actually,” Ren muttered with a small smile. “Which is kinda funny cause we--” 

Hux made a strange, involuntary noise and Ren stopped talking abruptly. 

“No.” 

Hux could feel the color burning his cheeks and he stared very determinedly at a spot somewhere over Ren’s head. 

“ _ No.”  _

Hux cleared his throat. 

“ _ You. Obliviated my first sexual experience.”  _

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic,” Hux muttered. “It was hardly your _first_ sexual experience.” 

“ _ You made me lose my virginity twice.” _

“You deserved it,” Hux mumbled under his breath. 

Ren said, “Show me.”

“I’m  _ not showing you that,”  _ Hux hissed, jerking his head in disgruntled amazement. 

“Not  _ that.  _ What happened. Show me what I did to deserve--” Ren motioned in frustration to his head. “This.” 

Hux swallowed past the lump in his throat; it only seemed to be getting bigger. “Alright.” Ren twisted on the floor to stare at him. “Just. Promise me you’ll leave me alone,” he added snidely. “Your attentions border on ludicrous at this point.” 

“Promise,” Ren said with a fervent nod. 

Hux closed his eyes and waited for the push. Ren wasn’t quick about it like he’d been last time. He was so gentle, so careful, Hux might not have noticed if he hadn’t been looking for the telltale press of the other man’s magic behind his temples. But it was there. And then--

_ “Ben, wait! I didn’t mean--”  _

_ Ben didn’t speak. He just lifted his hand and Armie’s legs sprung together and his arms latched to his sides. He went completely stiff from the top of his head to the tips of his toes. Armie’s eyes went wide and he started to tilt backwards. Ben caught him and leaned him against the wall.  _

_ “You’re a  _ bastard,” _ Ben hissed. Even though he couldn’t move, Armie’s face changed, shifted from a strange sort of fear into angry disbelief. Ben yanked Armie’s wand from where it was clenched in his fist and dropped it at his feet. Armie started shouting but it was unintelligible through his clenched jaw. Ben jabbed him furiously in the mouth with his wand.  _

_ “Give me my wand back, Solo!” _

_ Ben’s lip curled in a horrible sneer. “If you’re so much better than me, get it yourself,” he taunted.  _

_ “Give. Me. My. Wand. Unbind me! This isn’t funny!”  _

_ “Oh, I’ll show you funny.” Ben’s voice was low, and vicious. The only time Hux had ever heard him speak like that. He lifted his wand and started tracing words through the air. Armie watched in dawning horror as each letter materialized to float over his head like some horrible mockery of graffiti.  _

_ “ _ Accio _ wand,” he hissed under his breath. The wand at his toes remained immobile. “ _ Accio _ wand,  _ accio _ wand-- Ben, let me go!” _

_ Ben gave him one last scathing look and said, “I can’t believe I ever liked you.”  _

_ Then he whirled on his heel and started to stomp away.  _

_ “Ben! Ben, wait! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean-- fuck.  _ Fuck. Accio _ wand.  _ Accio _ wand. Shit.  _ Accio. Accio. _ Ben!”  _

_ Ben was gone. Armie was alone in the hallway, imobilized against the wall across from the Slytherin common room door. With.  _ That  _ floating above his head. His voice grew frantic. Someone, a small group of someones, was coming down the corridor.  _

_ “ _ Accio! Accio wand, accio wand, accio wand!” _ Armie’s wand remained resolute.  _

_ “Oi, what’s--”  _

_ What little color was left in Armie’s face drained away.  _

_ “Is that? Is that  _ Hux?”

_ The three figures at the end of the hall started moving more quickly, jogged down the corridor and then dissolved into horrible laughter. “Look at Mr. Head Boy now!” the tallest one taunted. “Who got the drop on you, Pretty Prefect Priss?”  _

_ “Unbind me,” Armie hissed through clenched teeth. “Or I’ll see you all in detention.”  _

_ The three boys started laughing again; Hux could hear more voices at the end of the hall. Dinner had just let out. _

_ Armie heard them too. He remained quiet, but the expression in his eyes. He was screaming.  _

_ “You’re not in any position to make demands,  _ Armie,”  _ this biggest one said. “And there’s no Professor Sloane here to protect you now.”  _

_ “If you lay a hand on me--” _

_ “What’s that say then?” the tall one spoke again, flicking his wand and lighting the torch that had gone out when Ben had cast his spell. “Will. Suck. Cock. For. Test. Answers!” The boy started reading slowly and sluggishly, but had dissolved into laughter with the others when he finished.  _

_ Armie looked like he was going to be sick.  _

_ More people came. It was Armie’s bad luck that Phasma was in the last group to arrive. When she realized what everyone was laughing at, her hand flew to her mouth, but before she could do anything to help, Professor Sloane was there. She broke the curse, erased the words, and gave the entire house detention.  _

_ Then she turned furious eyes on Armie and said, “Come with me. Now.” And it was horribly clear that she did not intend to offer the broken boy before her a soft word and a kind hug.  _

_ Armie said miserably, “Yes, Professor.”  _

Hux was shaking when Ren pulled away from him. Remembering something and  _ seeing  _ it like that were so different. He felt ridiculous for his reaction. He shouldn’t care anymore about something that had happened so long ago-- but he’d never lived it down. He’d spent the remainder of the year giving out detentions and hexing boys who liked to walk up to him while he was studying and, while their friends looked on, grab themselves and ask him if he needed help. When he’d refused to tell Sloane who’d done it, she’d recommended then Headmaster Skywalker strip him of his Head Boy status, had made it clear how  _ disgusted  _ she was that someone had managed to restrain him like that, and that he’d been stuck there with his wand free and at his feet. He’d gotten into more duels in the middle of Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley than he could remember in the three years after he graduated, when he still ran into the occasional classmate who was stupid enough to think he was still  _ that boy _ , so concerned with the rules, with the order of things, that he’d rather hand out a detention or simply walk away than get into a fight defending himself. 

They’d always thought he was a coward, easy prey. Even in his own house. 

It had been immensely satisfying proving to them that he wasn’t. 

He took a short, shallow breath, tried to quell his trembling hands, and then realized Ren was staring at him. 

When he met the other man’s eyes, he wished he hadn’t. Ren’s face was white. He opened his mouth and Hux was sure Ren was going to ask him what  _ Armie  _ and  _ Ben  _ had been fighting about, but instead he said, “I’m. I’m sorry.” And before Hux could stammer a response, he had jerked to his feet and turned down the hall. 

It was all Hux could do not to call after him, a frantic,  _ Ben, wait!  _ ready and waiting on his lips.  __

 

Ren was more subdued after that. When Hux passed him in the halls, he either looked away, or offered the shortest of nods. He was attentive at staff meetings. He provided Hux with detailed updates on all his classes whenever requested. He stuck to the syllabus. 

At meals, he sat at the opposite end of the table, between Poe and Rey.

He did what Hux had asked. He left Hux alone.

It was not driving Hux insane. It  _ wasn’t.  _

“Now, the most important thing you’ll want to remember with this spell is your wand motion,” he told the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor first years. “It’s a very particular motion, more delicate than any charms I’ve given you so far. It’ll a be a  _ swish--”  _ He demonstrated. “And then a  _ flick. _ With me now,  _ Swish.  _ And.  _ Flick.  _ Good. Now put it all together and--” 

Ren walked by his classroom. Hux saw him through the open door, side by side with Rey. They were laughing, looking very chummy. A gaggle of second years followed them and Hux recalled with a surge of annoyance than they had requested permission to do a joint class-- something about using Transfiguration in defensive situations. He shouldn’t have authorized the class. It was foolish of him, really. They were clearly  _ distracting  _ one another and he would have to have a meeting about this, about professors  _ fraternizing-- _

“Professor?” one of the children, a Gryffindor (of course. It was  _ always  _ a Gryffindor), asked raising his hand. “Are you alright?” 

Hux blinked and realized he’d been staring out the door, wand held high, half way between a swish and a flick. He cleared his throat. “Right. Now. Off you go, and five points to the house of the first student to get the feather up for more than ten seconds.” 

The children all started waving their wands and a hectic chorus of  _ wingardium leviosa  _ filled the room. 

Hux stared out the door as they worked. 

Bollocks.

 

It was dark out by the time he realized he’d been grading papers for far longer than he had intended. Hux rose, stretched, and his stomach gave a nasty rumble. He was late for dinner. 

He didn’t really think about what scene he would encounter when he stepped into the Great Hall for Christmas Eve dinner until it was too late.

It looked like a Skywalker family reunion. The tiny handful of students who had stayed were all crowded at one end of a single table, chatting animatedly with Minister Luke Skywalker himself. Then there was the handful of staff that always stayed-- Finn and Poe (who Hux was  _ positive  _ were doing some  _ fraternizing  _ of their own), Phasma, and Mitaka. Rey was a new face this year, but not entirely unexpected-- if Hux recalled, she had no family of her own.

And then the entire Skywalker clan. Leia and her husband, Han, Professors Chewbacca and Kanata (holding hands under the table) and three ghosts floating at the end-- Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

And of course, Ren himself.  

Oh dear god. 

“Armitage!” Organa said with a smile when she saw him. “I was wondering if you would join us this evening. Sit, sit!” 

She motioned to the only empty seat at the table-- between Ren and Phasma. Phasma gave him a sly grin and he realized she’d left him that particular seat on purpose. With his heart suddenly pounding in his throat, Hux sat down. 

“Hey, I remember you!” Organa’s lesser half said brightly. He chuckled but didn’t elaborate. 

Ren, who had been stridently  _ not  _ looking at Hux, jerked his head. “You’ve met?” 

Solo chuckled. “You don’t remember?” 

“I--”

“That’s right!” Organa inserted suddenly. “I’d forgotten all about that.” 

Ren cleared his throat and glanced at Hux out of the corner of his eye. He looked paler than usual. “I-- uh. Remind me what--”

Organa gave Ren a gentle grin. “You don’t remember that? Oh, it was your fifth year I think? Must have been, because Armitage was Head Boy at that point.” She glanced at Hux just long enough for him to give a tight nod of assent. He tried desperately not to look at Solo, whose smirk was becoming more sly by the second. “It was Christmas again; that’s why your father was here, and Armie-- Armitage was the only Slytherin that year, I think.” Hux nodded curtly again. “You followed him down to his common room to play some prank or another and Rae-- Professor Sloane caught you.” 

“Oh. Right,” Ren said with an attempt at a chuckle. “Sure. Sure. A prank.” 

Solo snorted into his glass and Ren’s eyes on him sharpened. Hux could only thank the stars Organa didn’t notice. 

Hux could feel his cheeks burning so he turned and looked for someone who  _ wasn’t  _ a Skywalker. He wasn’t very successful.

Phasma was watching the Minister performing a muggle magic trick with some kind of triangular cookie wrapped in plastic for a first year who was utterly delighted. He was just slipping it into the sleeve of his robe but the children were enjoying it. As Hux tried to focus on  _ anything  _ other than the man beside him, (who was infringing on Hux’s personal space just sitting  _ still  _ with his ridiculous chest and shoulders) he caught the strains of the conversation. “...It’s called a fortune cookie and it’s a type of  _ muggle  _ magic. My brother-in-law brings them for me. You can have this one, but remember whatever it tells you because it’s  _ very important  _ and  _ special  _ and  _ just for you.”  _

Ren chuckled. Without thinking, Hux turned his head. 

Ren caught his gaze and held it. “‘Muggle magic,’” he muttered, with a wry shake of his head. “It’s got a piece of paper in the middle and they say really vague things like, ‘you will find happiness in the coming year’ or ‘a difficult decision could lead you to success.’” He lowered his voice further. “Han only brings them cause he thinks it’s funny when you stick ‘in bed’ after whatever they say.” 

Hux lifted a brow.  _ A difficult decision could lead you to success--  _ he nearly choked on his wine. Ren grinned at him. Hux had to force himself not to grin back. 

“So this. Prank.”

“No.” 

“Ah.” Then Ren paused. “Dad knows?”

“He. Guessed.” 

“Didn’t tell Mom.” 

“I suppose not.”

“Sounds like him,” Ren muttered with an affectionate smile. But there was something in his eyes, buried deep behind all the flecks of amber. Something that made Hux’s chest hurt. Something sad.

Skywalker chose that moment to reach into his pockets and emerge with handfuls of the muggle cookies and Hux forced himself to focus on the children all reaching out to take one. Even Phasma ended up with one. 

The kids took turns reading theirs out loud, but it wasn’t until Phasma read, “‘A short stranger will soon enter your life with blessings to share,’” that Hux almost choked on his wine again. A strange sound beside him made him realize Ren was giggling into his plum pudding. 

Solo, however, let loose a bright guffaw that made Phasma lift her head in confusion. “What--?” 

Organa slapped Solo on the arm and smiled at Phasma. “Ignore him, dear. He’s had too much firewhiskey.” 

Ren was swaying in his seat. Every time he leaned toward Hux, Hux could feel the heat rolling off him like a furnace. Hux leaned away. 

Phasma elbowed him. “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?” 

Phasma turned and looked at him, then raised a brow. “Alright, students. I think it’s time to head back to our common rooms.” 

There was a fuzzy sort of protest from the students and Skywalker. Then Phasma jerked her head at the staff side of the table and Skywalker nodded, face clearing in an instant. “I’ll see you all tomorrow!” he said cheerfully. “We can have a snowball fight by the lake!” 

Together he and Phasma herded the children out of the room and Hux only realized why when the door closed behind them. Rey’s cheeks were red and she was talking to Solo with a cheerful, earnest expression on her face. Poe and Finn were leaning into each other and holding hands under the table. Maz was absently stroking Chewie’s beard and peering around giving each person a slow, owl-like blink. Organa was deep in conversation with Padme and Ghost Obi-Wan kept passing his hands through Ghost Anakin’s head. Anakin looked like he wanted to tear something’s throat out. Mitaka was watching the whole thing and looking a little ill. 

Hux shook his head to clear it. Christmas Eve dinner at Hogwarts always tended to put the staff a little out of sorts, but this was a bit extreme. How much wine and firewhiskey had they all consumed? 

Ren hiccupped and said, “At least a bottle between the two of us.” He reached for the half empty bottle as he spoke and a spurt of red sparked from his finger tips. He quickly balled his hand into a fist and hid it in his lap, bottle either forgotten or thought better of.

“What?” Hux squawked. 

“Oh. Oh, was that in your head? Sorry. I thought you said it out loud.” 

“You’re in my head again?” Hux hissed, leaning over in his seat and tilting a little farther then he meant to. Ren put a huge hand on his shoulder to steady him. 

“Not on purpose.”

“You are a completely ridiculous man.” 

Ren shrugged and grinned and Hux felt the room tilt again. 

“Are your eyes blue or green?” 

“ _ What?” _

“I can’t tell. They always look different.” 

Hux huffed in disbelief. “I. Green. I guess. Mostly.” 

“They look really blue right now.” 

“That’s because I’m wearing blue,” Hux muttered back, tugging at the blue shirt visible under his black robes. 

“Then how do you know they're really green then? If they look different depending on what you wear?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “I’m not always wear--” He cut himself off and squeezed his eyes shut. “Shut up.” 

“So what happened at Christmas?”

“No,” Hux said firmly. “We are not having this discussion again. I’ve shown you all you need to see. Leave me alone.” 

“Did you know there’s no way short of torture to break a memory charm?” Ren asked him softly. “I checked.” 

“Yes. I know.” 

“I’ve spent a lot of time researching them recently. It’s really impressive, what you did. How you just cut yourself out. Only very strong, very precise wizards should be capable of something like that.” 

“Yes. I know,” Hux repeated. 

“But you did it at seventeen.” 

“You’d practically mastered non-verbal spells at fifteen,” Hux countered waspishly. “Which I struggled with until my twenties so I suppose we can call ourselves even.” 

Ren got very quiet all of a sudden. It made Hux turn his head too quickly, surprised that Ren wasn’t waiting with some snappy comeback. 

Instead, he lowered his voice so Hux had to actually lean in to hear him. “I didn’t know, you know.” Hux only stared at him, so he went on without prompting. “Non-verbal magic, wandless magic, always came really easily to me. It didn’t hit my how much easier until sixth year, when Mom started giving us non-verbal dueling spells and no one could do it right away. It took most of them two classes before they had any kind of progress, but I’d been doing that kinda stuff for years.” 

“Yes, yes, you’re a very strong wizard,” Hux muttered in annoyance. 

“Not really. Not exactly. It wasn’t that I was stronger. I was just good at that particular thing. What I’m saying, Hux. What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t know. I don’t think. I don’t think I knew you wouldn’t be able to break out of the jinx right away.” Hux felt his lips curl. 

“I don’t need your  _ excuses--” _

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I’ve always had a. A temper, but when I was in school, I was never cruel.” 

Hux opened his mouth to reply, but something in Ren’s phrasing stopped him.  __ He shouldn’t say anything. He should keep his mouth shut and finish his wine and go to bed. “When you were in school?” 

Ren’s face shifted, like he couldn’t believe what he’d said, and then quickly rearranged itself in a very careful imitation of serenity that looked remarkably like his uncle. 

Hux said, “It doesn’t matter how  _ long  _ you expected it to last. It was still cruel.”

For a moment, Ren looked very young. Hux could see all the hurt in his eyes, all the pain, and it didn’t make sense to him, how so much sadness could be contained in one person. He knew he was well and truly smashed when he said, “What happened to you?” Ren only stared at him, mild shock curling his brows. “No,” Hux said, too quickly. “Nevermind, I don’t care. I’m going to bed.” 

He shoved back from the table and stood so fast he tottered, but he managed to steady himself before Ren could lay another hand on him. He got halfway down the first staircase to the dungeons before he heard. “Hux, wait!” 

He very briefly considered breaking into a run, but supposed that would appear even more undignified than normal given his past hour and a half of imbibing. “What, Ren?” 

He turned around and Ren drew up short, eyes going wide like he hadn’t expected Hux to stop. Hux gave a thoroughly annoyed sigh. “Well?” 

Ren blurted, “What happened at Christmas?” and Hux knew it wasn’t what he wanted to say, knew it was Hux’s last question that had cause Ren to chase him. Hux considered telling him to sod off. He considered telling Ren to remember that they weren’t friends and Ren could keep his questions to himself. He considered demanding Ren explain what could have possibly happened to him in the last seventeen years to make him  _ look  _ like that when he thought no one else was paying attention. 

Instead, he said, “Come on.” 

He’d moved the Pensieve to his bedroom. It was already swirling with silvery memory-- nearly everything Hux had of Ren from that year, when Hux hadn’t hated the very sight of him. Ren stood awkwardly in Hux’s room, peering around like he was a naughty child who’d been sent to the headmistress. When Hux looked over his shoulder, Millicent was watching Ren suspiciously from Hux’s bed; Ren was staring back. 

Hux prodded the Pensive with his wand until the memory he wanted surfaced, then without thinking, he grabbed Ren’s hand. “Come on.” 

_ They were in the Entrance Hall. When their feet hit the ground, Ren’s hand flew to his lips like he might be sick. Hux didn’t blame him. Using the Pensive like this while intoxicated was perhaps not the most brilliant idea he’d ever had. As they watched, the door to the Great Hall opened and Armie stepped out, walking quickly and looking rather more stiff in the shoulder than he usually did-- which was saying something. He trotted to the staircase that led to the dungeons, but paused halfway down.  _

_ Five minutes later, Ben emerged, looking almost  _ too  _ casual.  _

_ The two boys met on the staircase.  _

_ “You sure no one’s gonna see us?” Ben asked by way of greeting.  _

_ Armie shook his head. “Professor Sloane in the only teacher who’s ever down in the dungeons most nights and she  _ never  _ comes into the common room.” Armie grabbed Ben’s hand. “Come on.”  _

_ Hux pretended not to notice the way Ren shifted beside him.  _

_ The boys practically raced to the Slytherin common room, poorly contained giggles on both their lips.  _

_ Ben pushed Armie against the wall and kissed him as soon as the door to the common room opened. Armie pushed him away. “At least wait until we get inside,” he hissed with a very Hux-like expression on his face. He ruined it by smiling when Ben pouted at him.  _

_ Ben peered around in interest the moment the doors closed.  _

_ “Is the Gryffindor room very different?” Armie asked.  _

_ Ben shook his head. “Not really, I guess. It’s not as dark. Nor as. Green.”  _

_ Armie grinned at him.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “You just said ‘nor.’” _

_ Ben sowled. “I’ve clearly been hanging out with you for too long.”  _

_ “So you never finished telling me.” Armie fell into a plush sofa and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Why your Dad gets to come to Hogwarts.” _

_ Ben shrugged and sat on the sofa too, leaning in too close to the other boy. “I guess they make an exception when you’re married to the Deputy Headmistress.”  _

_ “I thought muggles couldn’t see Hogwarts?”  _

_ Ben shrugged. “He lives in Hogsmeade so he and Mom can see each other. He’s got some charms he carries so those spells don’t affect him.”  _

_ “What’s he do?”  _

_ “He--” Ben went quiet very abruptly.  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “I dunno.”  _

_ “You can tell me,” Armie pressed, rolling closer to Ben. “Who would I possibly tell?” _

_ “Phasma.”  _

_ “Promise I won’t.”  _

_ “He’s a fence.”  _

_ “What’s that?”  _

_ Ben sighed. “He’s a muggle criminal, Armie. If people steal things, he helps them sell them.”  _

_ Armie’s jaw dropped. “But. But Professor Organa--!”  _

_ Ben scowled and shrugged. “He told her he stopped when they got married and I guess he did for a while, but he started again. I’m not supposed to know, but I do. I think he gets bored during the school year since she has to stay here most days and he doesn’t get to see her very often. He’s lucky he lives in Hogsmeade though. That way no muggles can ever find him.” Armie was staring at Ben in something like shock. He clearly had no idea what to say, so Ben asked, “What’s your dad like?” _

_ “Oh.” Armie colored immediately. Hux crossed his arms over his chest and shifted uncomfortably. “He works for the ministry. In the Auror department. He. Trains the new aurors.”  _

_ “So. What’s he like?”  _

_ Armie swallowed. “He’s. Um. I don’t know, Ben. He’s my dad. Can we talk about something else?” _

_ Ben’s brows furrowed. “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”  _

_ Armie swallowed visibly. “Have you been studying for your O.W.L.s?”  _

_ Ben groaned. “It’s Christmas eve, you nerd. Let’s do something fun.”  _

_ “Like what?”  _

_ Ben grinned. “Well. Have you ever gotten stoned?”  _

_ “What?” Armie asked, confusion coloring his features. Ren put his face in his hand and chuckled softly. _

_ Ben reached into his pocket and emerged holding a baggie. “I brought this from home. Been saving it for a special occasion.”  _

_ Armie peered suspiciously at the bag. “What is it? Looks like something for potions.”  _

_ Ben rolled his eyes and opened the bag. Armie wrinkled his nose. “No. Look, see this green stuff? You put it in this little glass thing and you smoke it.”  _

_ Armie blinked at him. “Why.”  _

_ “Cause it’s fun! Muggle kids do it all the time. It makes you feel all. Floaty.”  _

_ “Floaty.”  _

_ “Yeah,” Ben laughed. “And it makes you laugh a lot.” He fiddled with the bag and then held the glass pipe out to Armie. Armie stared at it suspiciously. Ben rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. And I can go first if you’re scared.”  _

_ “I’m not  _ scared.” 

_ “Fine, I mean I can go first if you need me to show you.”  _

_ “Where’d you get it?”  _

_ Ben rolled his eyes again and put the glass to his lips. Armie watched him light it with the tip of his wand. Then he started to cough and held it out to the other boy. Armie, hesitantly, took it. “Muggle friends. Kids of people Dad is friends with.” Ben gave him a very sly grin and said, “They gave it to me after I bet them I could move this really ridiculous garden statue thing they have all by myself. Cost me an underage use of magic notice but it sure freaked them out,” he finished with a bright laugh.  _

_ Armie mimicked Ben’s motions then, put the glass to his lips, inhaled, and immediately started coughing hysterically. Ben laughed again and patted him on the back. “Hell yeah.”  _

_ “That was awful,” Armie croaked, wiping his hand over his mouth as Ben used his wand to clear the smoke away. “Why would anybody do that more than once?”  _

_ “Just wait,” Ben asserted. He shifted and stretched out on the sofa, putting his head in the other boy’s lap and tracing shapes through the air with his wand. Armie kept coughing and Ben conjured him a glass and filled it with water.  _

_ Armie started absently carding his fingers through Ben’s hair. “I think your dad is cool,” he admitted.  _

_ Ben scowled. “He’s my dad.”  _

_ “If you ever met my dad, you’d know what I meant,” Armie muttered. Ben got very quiet. _

_ “Is he. Is he awful to you?”  _

_ “Yes,” Armie replied without hesitation. “That’s why I stay here for Christmas. It’s better.”  _

_ “Why?”  _

_ Armie’s voice was tight when he spoke. “I’m not. My mom.”  _

_ Ben shifted onto his elbow and lifted himself up to peer at Armie.  _

_ “My dad already has a family,” he said very softly. “And my mom. Wasn’t his wife.”  _

_ “Oh.”  _

_ “When she died, he. Took me in, so that’s where I go in the summers but.” He swallowed hard and fell silent.  _

_ Ben peered at him for a long time and then jerked forward, smashed their lips together so hard Hux heard their teeth clack.  _

_ “He’s stupid if he doesn’t see how amazing you are,” Ben said softly.  _

_ Armie groaned, cheeks turning pink, and pushed Ben lightly on the shoulder. “Don’t be so dramatic,” he muttered.  _

_ Ben nuzzled into Armie’s neck and said, “Well, you are.”  _

_ Hux could feel Ren staring at him. He didn’t turn his head.  _

_ The boys passed the next few minutes in silence, Ben leaning heavily against Armie and tracing runes with his wand, Armie sitting very still, and then, for some reason, touching all his fingertips together.  _

_ After a few minutes passed in comfortable silence, Armie twisted and put one of his hands on Ben’s cheek. “Do my hands feel weird to you?”  _

_ Ben replied with a joyous peal of laughter and sat up. He took Armie’s hand and started rubbing gentle circles on his palm. “You’re baked.”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ Ben giggled. “How do you feel?”  _

_ Armie considered for a moment. Then he nodded curtly. “Floaty.”  _

_ Ben grinned. “Awesome.”  _

_ “That feels nice,” Armie sighed and leaned his head back against the sofa.  _

_ Ben started rubbing his wrists and forearms and Armie sighed again.  _

_ Hux watched Ren turn his head away when Ben finally pulled Armie into a warm, free kiss.  _

_ “What’s wrong with you?” Hux muttered, whispering even though he knew his memory couldn’t see him.  _

_ “They’re kids,” Ren muttered.  _

_ “One of them is  _ you.” 

_ Over on the sofa, someone moaned.  _

_ “I don’t remember,” Ren protested. “So it doesn’t really  _ feel  _ like me, alright? It’s not my memory.”  _

_ Hux lifted a brow and shrugged before turning back to the scene before him.  _

_ Ben had pinned Armie to the sofa and was kissing his neck. He muttered, “Can I?” against Armie’s ear. Armie nodded enthusiastically and one of Ben’s hands disappeared into Armie’s robes. Armie gave a particularly loud moan and a third voice made a sound of disgust.  _

_ Ben jerked back so quickly he fell off the sofa. The two looked around frantically before their eyes fell on what, when they first came in the room, had been an empty portrait frame.  _

_ Anakin Skywalker said, “Disgraceful.”  _

_ “You were the one spying!” Ben protested. “Go find another frame, you old perv.”  _

_ Armie smacked Ben on the arm. “Ben! Don’t you know who he is?”  _

_ “He was my grandfather,” Ben said, rolling his eyes.  _

_ “That’s  _ his  _ frame!” Armie insisted. “He’s our house ghost and he was Head of House for years. He gets his own frame down here.” _

_ “What are you even doing down here?” Ben demanded, looking back at the portrait.  _

_ “I followed you,” Anakin answered archly. “You’re not supposed to be in our common room, Ben.” Ben groaned. “And considering what you two were getting up to, I am convinced that alerting Professor Sloane to your whereabouts was a wise choice.”  _

_ “You did  _ what?”  _ Armie half shrieked, jolting to his feet. “Fuck, Ben, you have to go  _ now.” 

_ “What’s wrong with you!” Ben demanded of Anakin. “We weren’t doing anything wrong.”  _

_ Anakin snorted. “Define wrong.”  _

_ The common room door started to open. Armie’s face went white.  _

_ Ben hissed, “Sit down and pretend you don’t know I’m here.”  _

_ Then he threw himself behind the tapestry next to Anakin’s frame. Anakin looked at Armie and muttered, “You can do better than my deviant grandson, you know.”  _

_ Before Armie could say anything back, the door opened fully and Rae Sloane stepped inside. Armie dropped back to the couch and muttered, “Accio text book.”  _

_ When she stepped into view, Armie was sitting on the sofa, his nose in his book.  _

_ “Armitage.”  _

_ “Professor!” Armie replied, and his voice was only slightly higher than normal. “What brings you here?”  _

_ Sloane sniffed and peered around the room. “A little bird told me someone was here who shouldn't be.”  _

_ “It’s just me, Professor,” Armie said quickly. “I’m alone.”  _

_ Anakin snorted from his frame. Sloane said, “ _ Hominum Revelio _.” Ben’s tapestry flew back and there he was, looking very guilty.  _

_ “Hullo, Professor,” he muttered.  _

_ Sloane crossed her arms. “And what are you doing here, Mr. Solo? This is not your common room.”  _

_ “I was uh.” He looked rapidly between Armie, Anakin, and Sloane. Anakin wasn’t saying anything. “I followed Armie after dinner,” Ben said quickly. “To, uh. Play a prank.”  _

_ Sloane stared at him for a long time. Then she swept forward, pinched one of Ben’s huge ears between her fingers and started dragging him toward the door.  _

_ “Ow, ow, Professor, ow, there’s no need- Ow!”  _

_ “Armitage, come with me,” Sloane commanded.  _

_ She dragged Ben, ‘owing’ the whole way, up the stairs to his mother’s office.  _

_ She knocked twice before Organa said, “Come in.” When Sloane opened the door, Organa said, “What on earth.”  _

_ “Found him in the Slytherin common room,” Sloane said severely, pulling Ben around and pushing him gently toward Organa. When she finally let go of his ear, he clamped a hand over it and glared at her furiously. “About to play some prank on Armitage. Isn’t that right, boy?”  _

_ Organa, Solo, Sloane, and Ben all looked at Armie. “Um. I.” Ben gave a tiny nod and Armie said, “Yes, Professor. He was. Uh. Hiding behind a tapestry.” He almost sounded defeated.  _

_ “Benjamin!” Organa said furiously. “Oh, Armie, honey, I’m sorry.” _

_ “It’s alright, Professor,” Armie muttered, lowering his head. “No harm done.”  _

_ “Hmm,” Sloane said skeptically. Then she looked at Organa and Solo. “I’ll leave this to you. Come, Armitage--” _

_ “Oh, actually, Rae, a moment,” Organa said rising. “I need a word about that memo you sent me last week.” Organa turned her head and looked at Solo. “Watch him,” she said severely, jerking her head toward Ben. Solo soluted.  _

_ Sloane and Organa stepped out into the hallway, leaving Ben, Armie, and Solo alone.  _

_ Solo was staring at Ben.  _

_ Ben was looking anywhere but at his father’s face.  _

_ “Look at me, Ben.”  _

_ With a furious groan, Ben lifted his eyes. Then Solo said, “Armitage, is it?”  _

_ “Yes, sir.”  _

_ “Look at me, kid.”  _

_ “Sir?” Armie muttered, lifting his head.  _

_ Solo chuckled and then rolled his eyes. He held out his hand. “Ben.”  _

_ “What?”  _

_ “Ben.”  _

_ “What, Dad?”  _

_ “Give it to me.”  _

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _

_ “You’ve got two choices here, kid. You can give it to me, or I can have your mother do one of those accy whatever spells. Your choice.”  _

_ Armie’s face went very red when Ben frantically reached into his pockets and emerged with the baggie. He slammed it into his father’s hands and then crossed his arms furiously over his chest. “We weren't doing anything.”  _

_ Solo leaned back and crossed his ankles before opening the bag and sticking his nose in it. He jerked back. “Where’d you get it this time?”  _

_ “I don’t know.”  _

_ “You don’t know.”  _

_ “I found it.”  _

_ Solo chuckled. Ben looked nervously toward the door and then said, “Promise you won’t tell Mom?”  _

_ “Promise this is all you have?”  _

_ Ben’s shoulders sunk. “Yeah. That’s all.”  _

_“Alright. It can be our secret._ This _time, Ben. If it happens again you’ll have your mother to deal with. It’s bad enough at home, but at school? You won’t have a free summer vacation until you graduate. Understand?”_ _  
_ _“Yeah, yeah,” Ben replied, defeated._

_ Solo turned bright eyes on Armie and eyed the badge on his robes. “Head Boy, huh?”  _

_ Armie swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir.”  _

_ “What’s that mean?”  _

_ “It means I’m the best student, sir.”  _

_ “The best?”  _

_ “Yes, sir.”  _

_ “So, best grades, best behavior?”  _

_ “Yes, sir.”  _

_ “Hmm. So why are hanging around with my son?”  _

_ “Sir?”  _

_ “Ben can’t stay out of trouble to save his life,” Solo chuckled. He tucked the bag into his pockets then threw his hands behind his head. “Too much of his old man in him.”    _

_ “I.” Something in Armie’s face grew cold and smooth and his voice was stronger when he said, “He’s my friend, sir.”  _

_ “Friend,” Solo repeated.  _

_ “Yes,” Armie said firmly.  _

_ Solo smirked and then shook his head. “Fix your collar, kid.”  _

_ Ben jerked his head, face going brilliant red. Armie reached up in confusion and started tugging his collar into place. He turned on the spot to look into the mirror Organa had hanging beside her desk and his face went white when he saw the purpling bruise poking out of his shirt. He quickly adjusted it and when he turned back around, Solo was laughing. Ben put his face in his hands.  _

_ Sloane opened the door then and said, “Armitage,” so firmly Armie had no choice but to follow her. Before he left, he said, “Goodnight, Mr. Solo. Night, Ben.”  _

_ Solo said, very quietly, “Say goodnight to your boyfriend, Ben.” _

_ Ben sounded completely mortified when he said, “ _ Dad.” 

_ Then Organa stepped back into the room and Armie was forced to follow Sloane back to the Slytherin common room, ears and cheeks redder than his hair.  _

The room spun when Hux’s feet landed on his bedroom floor. He blinked to clear his head, and when he lifted his eyes, Ren was smirking at him.

A brilliant burst of heat flared in Hux’s gut. 

“Why  _ did _ you hang around me?” Ren asked, taking a step closer. Hux realized rather belatedly that his bedroom was not particularly large-- and he’d only lit one torch when he came in. 

Then he realized he’d brought  _ Kylo Ren  _ to his  _ bedroom  _ and the heat in his stomach flickered again. “I have no idea,” he said sourly. 

Ren took another step forward. “You were cute when you were stoned.” 

“I was seventeen when I was stoned,” Hux replied wryly, forcing himself not to take a step back. “You’re standing too close.” 

Ren reached out and traced one large finger down Hux’s arm. Hux’s heart catapulted into his throat. “So?” 

His mouth was dry. He should really step away, but the fact was no one had touched him like that in longer than he cared to admit. Ren’s hand on his arm was light and gentle; it barely counted as a caress. Hux should really kick him out now. 

Ren moved in closer. 

Hux’s head was swirling with a combination of firewhiskey and wine. Ren smelled like plums. “I--” His eyes jumped to Ren’s chest. “Your robes are glowing.” 

Ren’s head jerked and he started patting the glowing square on his chest. 

He emerged with a hand mirror and his face darkened.

It took Hux’s breath away. This man, the one staring into the mirror, was not the man he’d been talking to. This man was fierce. This man was anger and hate and shadows. 

“Excuse me,” Ren said sharply. He whirled on his heel and marched out, but he didn’t shut the door fully behind him. 

Hux couldn’t help darting forward and peering through the crack he’d left. 

Ren didn’t go far. He stood in the corridor and brought the mirror to his face. “It is Christmas eve and you have been ordered not to contact me unless requested,” Ren hissed sharply. “Why have you called me?” 

“Lord Ren,” a deep female voice replied, slow and steady. “You have my sincerest apologies for the interruption. This matter requires your attention. Tribus has not checked in in exactly one week.” 

Ren’s whole body stiffened. “When was his last communication?”

“He spoke with us on schedule at four hundred hours on the tenth. He was supposed to contact us again with a report on the seventeenth. He never reported in. All attempts to contact him have failed. I dispatched Sex and Duo to his last known location last night. They have, so far, found no trace of him, but intend to perform a Calling to attempt to find him.” 

Ren’s hand shook at his side, but his face was firm when he said, “Good work, Septem. Thank you for contacting me.” 

“Yes, Master. Sex and Duo intend to attempt the Calling at exactly three hundred hours. We are all available have already prepared. Will you be able to join us?”

“Yes,” Ren said firmly. “Expect me.” 

“Yes, Master. Thank you.” 

Without another word, Ren passed his hand over the mirror and the soft glow disappeared. 

Without the woman watching him from the mirror, Ren’s shoulders sagged. His hand quivered once. Then he squeezed it into a furious fist, shoved the mirror back into his robes, and stomped away down the hallway. 

Hux waited until he was sure Ren had gone before he stepped out into the hall and headed for the library. 

He had research to do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on [Tumblr!](https://ellabesmirched.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo sat on the floor of his bedroom and couldn’t stop his mind from racing. He was spinning with firewhiskey and fear and memories that weren’t his-- with images of Tribus contorted in torture screaming for help and Armie Hux starring Han full in the face and saying _he’s my friend_ \-- with the way Hux’s breath had quickened when Kylo, idiot that he was, had let the firewhiskey do all the talking and finally decided to see if Hux’s skin was as soft as it looked.

He downed a glass of water and a summoned a loaf of sticky dessert bread from the kitchens. He’d had too much to drink-- he needed to come back to himself, so he could _focus._ The Calling was a complicated piece of magic, and one that would require Kylo’s full attention. His knights were relying on him. They _had_ to find Tribus. He downed the water and started nibbling on the bread, watching his clock as it slowly ticked toward three AM.

At five till, he sat in front of his fire, and, as a second thought, stripped off his robes. It was too hot. He took slow, steady breaths. He need to clear his mind, to find-- peace--

His mirror-- the real one, not the little hand piece he carried in case of emergency-- leaned beside the fireplace and, for now, Kylo could see himself in it.

His brows were drawn and tight. His shoulders were stiff and his skin was so white, every scar, every mole, every imperfection stood out like fresh livid bruises. The black ‘1’ tattooed over his heart stood out starkest, blackest. It was starting to grow warm. He took another deep breath.

The mirror started to flicker. The flames turned blue.

The Calling was starting.

One moment, Kylo was alone. The next, they were all there, in his head, and in the flames, and in the frame of the mirror.

He said, _Unum,_ and wasn’t sure if he spoke outloud or in his head. Maybe both.

_Duo._

There was a terrible pause where Tribus would go and they waited to see if he would hear them, if he would answer. He didn’t. Kylo felt his chest go tight with fear.

_Quattuor._

_Quinque._

_Sex._

Septem’s voice, when she spoke, was firm, and final. _Septem._

The moment the word sounded in his head, Kylo felt the power of it race through his body, burn on his chest, scream at his fingertips. It took his breath away, made him gasp for air, all of them in his head like that, all their power, at _his_ command. He saw himself in the mirror again, but it wasn’t just him he saw there. In his eyes, he saw them all.

It was _wonderful._

But something was missing, an empty space where Tribus should be. Kylo missed him like a severed limb, felt his whole body-- all their bodies-- calling out to him across the miles and shadows and stone that separated them.

“ _Tribus.”_ They called to him.

Kylo _felt_ him. The moment the tendril of consciousness reached them, a wave of relief swept through the Knights--and hit Kylo strongest of all.

Kylo spoke out loud and in his head, and his voice was beautiful and terrible, overlaid with all five of the Knights in his head. “ _Tribus. Come back to us. Tell us where to find you_.”

The tendril of consciousness flickered, and grew no stronger. Kylo’s voice-- all their voices-- was panicked when he said, “ _Tribus. Your Master commands you to speak. Think and we will hear._ ”

The voice, when it came, was shrill, and wavering. It said, _Run._

The tendril disappeared. The thread of consciousness broke and they were alone, profoundly, irrevocably alone. They all screamed then, screamed his name across the miles that seperated them, but Kylo knew they would get no answer. Tribus was gone.

For a long time, the panic in Kylo’s head was just that-- white, screaming panic. Then Septem’s voice broke apart from the noise and she said, _Be still, sisters._ Like flipping a switch, the swirl in Kylo’s head stilled. He had to struggle not to reveal how relieved he was. Thier pain coursed through him like electricty, made his whole body tense with thier magnified terror and paralyzed all thought. Septem brought them all back, even though she’d only addressed the witches. _Your orders, Master._ Kylo took a breath and thought, to himself only, that he would have to thank her. Septem could feel his pain, his helplessness, and she steadied him.

_Tribus is not dead. He is with us still, but cut off, blocked._

_Who could do this?_ Sex demanded, her high, sweet voice uncharacteristically fierce. Kylo stopped watching the mirror. Every time one of them spoke, he could see their eyes in his face instead of his own. It was making him nauseated.

 _Someone strong, powerful,_ Duo suggested. _But more zan ze six of us combined?_

 _No,_ Kylo said quickly. _Not necessarily. Someone who knows us. Someone who knew what we would do when Tribus didn’t report in. This feels like planning, not power._

 _The Calling is an ancient and secret piece of magic,_ Septem intoned. _No one but a Knight of Ren should know of it._

 _Azkaban?_ Quinque’s voice was quiet and thoughtful, as she usually was. _Could one of the Fallen have interfered with our rites from their cell?_

Kylo shook his head. _The Calling requires serenity. To interfere from a cell, to reach us through all those dementors. It would be near impossible. None of them are strong enough._

 _It would require immense power,_ Septem agreed.

 _He was afraid,_ Quattuor finally said. _Master. I am afraid._

 _We will find him,_ Kylo said fiercely. _We will bring him back to you._

 _Orders,_ Septem demanded.

Kylo was silent while he thought. He knew they could see the plans forming in his head, but they waited until he said, _Send me all of Tribus’s reports. I want everything. All of you, write down every interaction you have had with him since I assigned him this mission. Especially you, Quattuor. I want to know every conversation you have shared, no matter how insignificant it may seem. And. No matter how private. I am sorry._

 _We keep no secrets from you, Master,_ Quattuor replied.

_Sex, Duo. Track him. You are currently at his last known location?_

_Yes, Master,_ they said together.

 _I want you to find his trail and follow it, using whatever means necessary._ The words felt heavy in his head.

 _Are you certain, my lord?_ Sex asked.

_Yes. We must find Tribus at all costs. If you. If you are unsure of how you should proceed, you may contact me for orders. Do you understand?_

_Yes, Master._

_Go._

Sex and Duo disappeared from Kylo’s head.

 _And me, Master?_ Quinque asked.

_Send me the reports. I will have more specific orders for the rest of you after I have reviewed them. Now go._

Quinque and Quattuor disappeared, but Septem remained resolute.

_Septem._

_You were not fit to perform this magic tonight, Master. You should have told me._

_I am perfectly fit._

_You’ve been drinking._

_I find our rituals less taxing when I’m well hydrated._ He paused just long enough for Septem’s chuckle to flicker through his head before he added sternly, _Don’t forget who you’re speaking too, Septem. I’m not that rash young wizard you met in Nocturne Ally anymore._

 _Your mind is jumbled, Master,_ Septem protested. But it was concern, and not anger in her voice. _I can feel how unsure you are._

_I am sure of the orders I have given you. I am sure that these are the proper steps to take to locate and rescue Tribus._

_Are you?_

_Yes._

_You are scared. You hide it well, but you know you cannot hide from me. You are scared. As am I. Do you think--_

_No._ Kylo’s reply was sharp and angry. _No. I do not think._

Septem was quiet. Then she said, _The man in your head._

_Septem._

_He confuses you. Makes you unsure of yourself. Why?_

_He was a school mate. And now he teaches at Hogwarts. Years ago, after a. Disagreement. He modified my memory._

_Disagreement?_

At the word, Kylo could feel Septem start carding through his head in a way only she could, combing through memories like dragging her fingers through sand, leaving empty divots behind. _Stop that,_ he said sharply. _I--_

He gasped when Septem snagged on something, something that pulled in his brain and he felt it like a trickle of water running down his spine from the inside, something cold and foreign that he couldn’t escape. It took his breath away, made his chest seize up and for a moment, he could do _nothing._

He felt Septem pull back. _Sorry, Master._ She had intended the touch, the caress, really, to be gentle and familiar, a hand smoothing over the hurts.

Kylo took a huge shuddering breath and shook his head, trying to clear it. It felt. Fuzzy. _It’s alright, sister. But don’t worry about the man. He is. Unimportant._

Even as he thought it, Kylo knew it wasn’t true. And he knew Septem didn’t believe him.

_Send me the reports._

_Yes, Master._

And Septem too, was gone.

 

“More?” Rey asked him, incredulous as three huge screech owls swooped down and landed on the table. Kylo took a bite of his bagel and shrugged. “Who could _possibly_ have this much to say to you?”

“I’m interesting,” Kylo protested through a mouthfull of crumbs. He tucked the three fat scrolls into his robes and reached for more juice.

“Nobody is that interesting,” Rey replied wryly, pushing her empty plate away. “This is the fourth time you’ve had more than two deliveries this week.”

“Fifth,” Finn corrected. “If you count the package that barn owl brought to his classroom window.”

“How do _you_ know about that?” Kylo demanded, turning in his seat to stare at Finn.

“The Gryffindors have Herbology after your Defense class,” Finn said with a shrug. “Kids talk. They were trying to guess what was in the box.”

“More paper,” Kylo admitted with a halfhearted shrug.

Poe snorted and leaned around Finn. “I think we’d all like to know what’s _on_ the paper. For a while I thought you had some secret lover somewhere but if you were getting this much mail from a girlfriend, I think you’d need to be concerned.”

Kylo snorted in amusement. “It’s not like that. It’s not personal. It’s--”

“Knight business?” Kylo jerked his head as Hux slammed a huge book down on the table in front of him. The last screech owl, which had been drinking water from a saucer Kylo had prepared before they even arrived, took off with an angry hiss. Hux ignored it.

“I. Uh.”

“I require a word, Mr. Ren,” Hux said archly. Kylo glanced down at the book and read, _Secret Organizations of the Northern Wizarding Hemisphere by Conspicia Doctrina._

All four of them lifted their heads. Kylo forced an amused smirk onto his lips and said, “Interesting choice of reading material, Professor.”

Hux’s lips narrowed. Poe and Finn suddenly found their breakfast plates very interesting; Rey leaned forward to try and read the cover of the book more closely, but Hux snatched it away.

“Now.”

Without another word, he turned on his heel and marched away, huge book tucked under his arm.

In total bemusement, Rey said, “He is _such_ a strange man.”

“Not the word I’d use,” Poe muttered.

“What would that be, then?”

They both got quiet when Kylo pushed back his seat, an annoyed groan on his lips. With Tribus missing, half his knights were currently incapacitated and unavailable in one way or another. The three who weren’t being held captive or actively searching for the captive were distracted by Tribus’s disappearance.

Kylo was distracted too. He could feel all of their fear and worry over the tiny threads the Calling had left behind. The connections faded more and more each day-- he doubted his Knights felt it anymore-- but he was center of that wheel, the point to which they all connected like radiating spokes. He felt it more strongly than they did-- even without his proclivity for Mind Magics.

In short, he had neither the time nor the patience to dance around Hux’s prying. He had no time for Hux at all, which was particularly frustrating given the way his brain was filling with the other man, all his thoughts slowly turning toward a particularly bitchy redhead with very straight shoulders and very pretty blue green eyes who scowled very prettily when Kylo prodded just right. He should be focused on the reports burning in his pockets, on figuring out what had happened to Tribus. Instead, he was following Hux in complete, strained silence up the stairs to the currently empty Charms classroom.

Hux closed the door with his wand the moment Kylo stepped inside. It slammed shut on Kylo’s robes and Kylo glared furiously as he was forced to open the door again to retrieve them.

Hux crossed his arms and watched as if Kylo was something slow and slimy creeping toward him in a dark place-- like he didn’t know quite what to do but the impending contact was imminent enough that it had become apparent he had to do _something._

Kylo bared his teeth and said scathingly, “Doctrina, Hux? Didn’t take you for a pulp reader.”

Hux’s nostrils flared. “Her theories on the Goblin Rebellion of 1612 are absolute lunacy but her writing gains merit when she focuses on her area of expertise.” Kylo leaned against the door and gave Hux his surliest look. He knew exactly what Doctrina’s area of expertise was but he wasn’t about to give Hux any indication of that. Hux’s eyes darkened, going blue like shadows on the lake and Kylo felt like the wall was tilting, like he was off balance, like he’d been staring at an optical illusion that switched before his eyes and he suddenly couldn’t see what he’d been looking at only seconds before.

 _“It’s not my fault! It’s_ boring _and we just have to listen to Yoda go on and on and on and why do I care about stupid goblin rebellions?”_

_“Because the root cause of the rebellions hasn’t been answered yet, Ben.” Armie’s voice was simultaneously exasperated and patient and Ben had no idea how those two things could be possible at once but in Armie they were. “And until the ministry and the goblins come up with a mutually beneficial solution, there’s always a chance another uprising could occur. And if you’re going to work for the aurors-- if that happens, you could be called to help put the rebellion down. Don’t you think you should know why it’s happening then?”_

_“Fine,” Ben grumbled. “Why do you always have to sound so reasonable?”_

_Armie smirked at him, gave Ben his most furiously condescending smile-- but there was a warmth in his eyes that no one else ever saw. It was just for Ben. “Why are you so opposed to viewing the world with a shred of logic?”_

Kylo’s foot-- braced against the brick wall-- hit the floor loudly. Hux cut himself off mid-sentence and Kylo had no idea what he’d been saying. He felt dizzy, like he’d been running spiral drills in Quidditch, like the bottom of his stomach was dropping out, like his heart had taken up permanent residence in the back of his throat. “What?”

“Do try to pay attention,” Hux said scathingly. “I can speak more slowly if you require.”

Kylo blinked to clear his head. “I--sorry. What?”

“I said her writings on the Knights of Ren are of particular interest to me!” Hux snapped. Kylo could tell he’d said this much more eloquently and with perfectly cultivated disgust before Kylo had forced him to summarize.The interruption had clearly left him thoroughly disgruntled.

“You’ve been researching us?” Kylo pressed, trying to wrest his attention back to the man in front of him. It was like trying to pull his legs out of the mud when the mud was pulling back.

_“You’re not focusing, Ben. These are your O.W.L.s we’re talking about! Do you want to be an auror or not?”_

Kylo’s heart rate was rising.

“What is wrong with you?” Hux finally demanded furiously. “Are you incapable of focusing for more than a few seconds?”

The dejavu hit him again in a potent wave he could feel like a physical thing, like sand in his mouth, gritty and tenacious and unignorable.

“I’m, my head, sorry. I need to--” The words felt sticky on his lips. His jaw felt gummy and stiff.

The room was shimmering at the edges.

“Kylo?” Hux’s book sat forgotten and he took a step forward.

The room pulsed once in a white flare and Kylo’s knees cracked against the stone floor.

_“You could. You know. Encourage me.”_

_“Encourage you_ how? _”_

_“I dunno, can’t you think of something?” Ben gave Armie a wide, suggestive grin and Armie glared back. The effect was ruined when his lips pulled into a poorly contained smile. Ben said, “At least just come sit next to me. It’s cold in here.”_

_It wasn’t cold. But Armie still came and sat down on the cushion strew classroom floor beside Ben. He leaned in close so Ben could smell him-- he used some kind of minty shampoo that Ben suspected was only available in the prefects’ bathroom, and he always smelled like--_

\--old parchment and ink. Kylo’s nose was so close to the ground he could smell the dust between the stones, but the parchment was there too, the ink. Fuck, even the mint.

Hux’s hand was on his shoulder, not at all gentle. Kylo turned his head and Hux wrinkled his nose. “Do I need to summon Madam Rose?”

Kylo shook his head and tried to slow his breathing back down. He even _wrinkled his nose_ the same way.

“What are you laughing at?” Hux demanded, shoving away from him. “Have you been confunded? You’re even more out of your mind than usual.” He straightened up, leaving Kylo to fend for himself on his hands and knees, and crossed his arms again.

Kylo waited until he was sure he wasn’t going to fall down again. When he lifted his head, Hux was glaring down at him. He sat back on his heels and almost expected to find himself surrounded by green and silver pillows conjured from the tip of Hux’s wand.

His head was throbbing.

“You were saying something about the Knights?” he asked weakly. Hux was standing in front of him and. And Armie was in his head. Not Hux’s memory of himself-- Kylo’s memory. Ben’s memory. A study session in a small classroom. That was all. Something so tiny and so simple and yet.

He still wore his hair the same way. The same perfect part just off center.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hux demanded, sounding thoroughly exasperated.

Kylo grinned and shook his head. “No reason. I’m just. Little light headed. Headache. I’ll be fine.”

Hux hummed in annoyance. “Very well then, _as I was saying._ You. Didn’t shut the door entirely when you left at Christmas. I heard everything.”

Kylo was on his feet without realizing he’d moved, lips curling in anger.  “You _what?”_

“This ‘Calling.’ If it is what I think it is. If you’ve done--”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I know what Blood magic is,” Hux hissed. “And if you’ve brought it around our _students,_ these _children--”_

“What I do in my personal time is none of your concern!”

“I contacted the aurors.”

Kylo felt the color draining from his face.

“They said they didn’t fire you at all. They said you resigned.”

“Hux.”

“Why would you lie about something like that?”

“You have no idea what you’re sticking your fingers into!” Kylo shouted, bounding forward like a furious dog. “You have no idea how _dangerous_ poking around the Knights can be!”

“Are you threatening me, Master Ren?” Hux asked, voice horribly low. Kylo noticed with a thrill that Hux had his wand in his hand-- when had it gotten there?

“No,” Kylo said earnestly. “I’m _warning_ you, Hux. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I know you’re dabbling in dangerous Dark magics,” Hux taunted. “A very uncomfortable fact for a _Defense Against the Dark Arts_ instructor.”

“It’s _Blood_ magic. It’s not inherently Dark. I don’t have to explain this to you--”

“Oh? Oh, really?” Hux spat. He waved his wand and the book opened. He spared Kylo only the shortest, angriest glance before he began to read. “Particular to the Knights of Ren is their proclivity for a branch of Dark magic known as Blood magic. Through a series of increasingly more macabre spells, the Knights--”

“ _Hux.”_

“The. Knights,” Hux repeatedly loudly, “are able to link themselves to each other with the Master as a focal point-- a linking which occurs through the consumption of his blood.”

Kylo forced a bark of laughter through his teeth but it sounded angry and strained. Crazed. “Drinking blood, Hux, be serious!”

He looked back down at this book. “‘No spell is perhaps more important to the Knights than one they refer to as ‘the Calling’-- a dangerous spell that calls upon the links forged through the Initiation in order to communicate freely with all seven Knights at once, no matter the distances or barriers separating them. This immensely complex magic draws the six Knights into the Master, allowing him to serve as a conduit to facilitate communication. Certain variations on this magic can even allow the Knights to share the body of the Master, or vice versa-- allowing the Master to move freely within the bodies of his Knights for whatever nefarious mission the group has committed itself to.’”

“Doctrina is a _quack,”_ Kylo half shouted. “A complete fraud. She tried to quote me in her little book, go on, find it, look!”

“I saw you refused to speak to her.”

“Because she’s a fruit bat. She thinks we drink blood, for God’s sake.”

“I’ve spent _hours_ and _hours_ reading about the Knights,” Hux hissed furiously. “If I’d realized. If I’d understood what you’d gotten yourself into I never would have hired you.”

“Doctrina’s books are _wrong,_ Hux. The Knights are, are just--”

“It’s not just Doctrina I’ve been reading.” Hux’s voice was triumphant, arrogant. He was so sure of himself. He pushed _Secret Organizations_ aside and lifted the book beneath it, a disgustingly old tome Kylo recognized from the restricted section of the library. _Magick Moste Evile._

The silence in the room was so sudden and so profound, Kylo realized instantly how truly fucked he was. He could have laughed. He could have stared incredulously. He could have played dumb.

Instead he fell terribly quiet. His face and hands felt cold.

“Blood Magic,” Hux said. “Whole chapters on it.” Kylo tried to wet his lips but he only chewed on his lip instead. Hux said, “Well? Nothing to say?”

“You don’t understand,” Kylo said softly.

“I understand tracking down what you did for the first ten years after you graduated is damn near _impossible._ No jobs. No indication of where you might have traveled. And then I recalled how little your mother talked about you during that time. A few years ago, you started cropping up in conversation again, but before that. Where were you, _Lord Ren?_ Where have you been hiding?”

Kylo glowered. He glared and he fumed and Hux’s grin got wider.

Kylo waited for his brain to provide him with an answer. Waited for a plausible lie to present itself but none of his standard misdirects and half truths seemed strong enough.

He glanced at the book Hux was holding so cheerfully. As if to say, _Got you._

And then, he got angry.

Kylo crossed the room in four huge bounds and slapped the book out of Hux’s hands. It hit the ground with a loud thud that Kylo didn’t notice. Hux didn’t shy away from him. He lifted his wand and shoved it under Kylo’s chin, digging the point of it into Kylo’s skin when Kylo curled his fists in Hux’s robes and wrenched him forward.

“You want to see Dark Magic, Hux? You want ‘Magick Moste Evile?’ I can show you power so dark it’ll make you toes curl.” Hux’s eyes widened in surprise. “What, did you think it hurts? You think you wouldn’t enjoy it?”

Something dark and blue flashed in Hux’s eyes. “You. Unhand me at once.”

“You would,” Kylo pressed, teeth bared in a horrible snarl that he hated but he couldn’t contain. Couldn’t stop. “You’d _beg_ me for it.”

“You are--” Hux’s voice was breathless and high. “Let go of me.”

“This is what you wanted, isn’t, _Armitage?_ If you’re going to go digging for things better left buried you can’t surprised if you find skeletons. You’ve been looking for a monster.” Kylo shoved him away and Hux stumbled until his back hit the wall. “Congratulations. You found one.”

Hux’s face was pale and drawn and Kylo could tell without having to peek into his head that this wasn’t what he wanted at all. He’d wanted Kylo to rage and scream and deny. He’d never expected him to confirm it.

“Why are you here?”  Hux finally asked. “The students? What is this, some kind of. Awful recruitment scheme?”

“ _Fuck you.”_

“Then why? What good is Hogwarts to you?”

“Did it ever occur to you,” Kylo said slowly, voice flat. “That maybe I’m here to teach?”

“Teach what?” Hux asked shrewdly.

“I want to. To keep it from happening. Ever again,” Kylo whispered haltingly, the words so true they hurt and so terribly close he wondered after each one left his lips if he was actually speaking them out loud. “I’m here to help,” he said desperately. “To keep what happened to me from ever happening to anyone else.” He couldn’t look Hux in the face. He couldn’t remember ever having said something so personal, so utterly _true_ to anyone. Ever. Hux seemed to do that. He got under Kylo’s skin, hit all the right pressure points so Kylo felt like he was out of options, like his only course of action was to spill the deepest, darkest parts of himself. Expose them to the light.

“What happened to you?” Hux asked quietly, and the moment he spoke, Kylo felt the inevitability of those words. They’d been trapped behind his lips for weeks. He’d known Ben Solo.

“The Master. The Master happened.” Kylo felt like he was trying to awallow around a stone. Hux didn’t speak, just stared. “You want to know what he did? How he pulled me in?” Kylo pressed the tips of his fingers to his temples and bared his teeth because it was easier to speak when he channeled his rage, his fury over what had been done. Otherwise, he didn’t know if he could speak, or what he’d do. If he’d weep. If he’d laugh. Anger was easier. Anger had always been easier.

“He was _in my head_ . Constantly whispering and tugging and pulling, all--” Kylo’s fingers curled like a splayed claw and he jammed his own nails against his temple gain. “--sticky fingers and, and-- sharp teeth and _nothing_ I did could get him out.” He stopped talking, fisted his clawed hand in his hair and hoped Hux would _say something_ but Hux just stared with his mouth open and Kylo was forceed to continue. The words came slowly, haltingly. He felt like if he talked too fast, he’d start screaming. “He whispered so many things I started to think he wasn’t there at all. That it was me. All me. _My_ head saying such--such _horrible_ things, making them sound--” He paused, searching for the right word, and when he found it, it came out so softly, he didn’t know if Hux actually heard him. “Beautiful. And just when I couldn’t take it anymore, he came to me. He took all the voices and all the whispers away and I would have followed him to the end of the world and back because he _made it stop.”_

Hux was still staring at him with his mouth open and Kylo felt shorn apart. Cracked open and exposed in a way he’d never felt before. He was such a good liar. Why couldn’t he lie to Hux? Why couldn’t he just lie?

“Took me a long time to realize it had been him all along.”

Hux lifted his hand like he would touch Kylo and then seemed to think better of it. His throat worked. “How. How? Why?”

“Ligilmency. A special talent of his. When he first found me, I had no idea what was happening or how to make it stop. I thought I was going crazy. As for why,” Kylo paused and cleared his throat. “You can’t guess?”

Hux touched a hand to his own forehead. “Your family.”

“What better way to attack the Skywalkers,” Kylo said bitterly, “Than through their son. Their nephew. I was a means to an end.”

“Who? Who has that kind of power?”

“You called him Minister Nekos. But we just called him Snoke.”

What little color was left in Hux’s cheeks drained away. “You’re lying. The Master. The Master is known publically, we’d have known if a Minister of Magic-- we’d have known--”

“The Master is supposed to serve as the face of the Knights in times of crisis. But when there is no crisis, you forget about us. Snoke-- Nekos was Master for years. He defied our laws when he didn’t publicly acknowledge us, but by that point he was. There was no one to oppose him.”

Kylo’s heart was sprinting in his chest because he knew where Hux’s brain would go next, what he would say.

“He’s been missing for five years.”

“Yes.”

“And you said you--”

“Yes.”

“What happened to him?”

Kylo lied. “I don’t know. None of us do. But once he was gone, once our heads cleared. I’ve done a lot of bad things, Hux. I’m trying to make it right.”

Hux had been taking tiny steps backwards and his back finally hit the wall. “So you admit it,” he said finally. “You’re a Dark wizard.”

“I was.” Kylo’s voice was barely there anymore. “I’m trying not to be. For what it’s worth,” he added, “my mother trusts me.”

“It’s worth nothing.” Hux’s voice was matter-of-fact. His words hit Kylo in the center of his chest like a punch. They were true. “She’s your mother. She’ll always give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Kylo looked down at _Magick Moste Evile_ sprawled across the ground. It made his stomach turn to think of how many spells he knew from that book. What was worse was how easy it had been to use them, how good it had felt.

“You don’t have to trust me,” he said finally. “But you have to keep what I’ve told you to yourself.” He lifted his head. “Don’t make me Obliviate you.”

“ _Do not_ threaten me, Kylo Ren,” Hux hissed, eyes sparking with sudden fury. “You don’t scare me.”

Kylo shrugged his shoulders. “That’s unfortunate, Hux. It really is. If you were scared of me, you’d be safer.”

He left the classroom with Hux glaring incredulously at his back and his head tucked between his shoulder blades.

 

The reports were long and tedious. They showed nothing of interest. Kylo still buried himself in them. Anything not to think of Hux.

He’d revealed to much. Septem would be livid if she knew what he’d just told to someone who was, for all intents and purposes, a complete stranger.

Except he wasn’t. Kylo looked at Hux and felt like the floor was falling out from under him because it was just so _strange_ how familiar he felt and yet Kylo couldn’t connect any of it to a concrete recollection of trust. He had the memories Hux had shown him, jammed into his head like scenes from a book, or someone else’s dream. And he had his own half remembered flicker of a reality that felt like it had never been.

Septem had done it of course. It was the only thing that made sense. When she’d combed through his mind something had come unstuck and the next time he’d seen Hux it had struck him; a fragment of memory long since plastered over.

It was strange seeing Hux through his own eyes like that. Strange remembering how he’d felt in that little classroom. It was only a moment of memory, but it was there. His own feelings to accompany the images Hux had shown him.

Adoration.

Trust.

A pulsing attraction he couldn’t stop thinking about.

He’d always found Hux attractive, in his slim, prickly sort of way, but this was different. The very thought of him sent jolts of heat down Kylo’s stomach, and his disobedient brain, so empty of all the things he _knew_ they had done had started to try to fill in the blanks. Kylo had always had a very active, very vivid imagination.

And it was easier to think of Hux _like that_ then it was to consider what he should do about all the secrets he’d just spilled like a sentimental fool.

There was a knock at his door.

Kylo knew who it was before he even got up.

Of course. Of course Hux was outside. Hux, for all his glares and snide comments and absolutely infuriating prying, couldn’t seem to just leave Kylo alone.

When Kylo opened the door, Hux had a tray with a tea set hovering at the tip of his wand. He stared at Kylo without saying anything. Kylo stepped aside.

He cleared away the mountain of reports on his desk with a wave of his wand; they organized themselves neatly in a box on the floor. Hux said, “Knight business?”

Kylo glared. Hux set the tea set down on Kylo’s newly cleared desk and the pot started filling the cups of its own accord.

Hux sat down in the chair across from Kylo’s. Kylo sat too.

“I’m sorry.” Kylo watched the tea prepare itself. “Ren-- Kylo. I’m sorry, alright?”

Kylo lifted his eyes from the cups and kept staring. Something felt-- off. Hux didn’t strike Kylo as someone who was capable of apologizing. And Kylo had confirmed his suspicions. He should be banging down Leia’s door demanding Kylo be sacked. He could hear it in his head-- _He’s dangerous, he’s a risk to the children, he’s unstable and destructive and he can’t even control himself, how should we expect him to run a classroom?_

Hux cleared his throat and reached out to take a teacup. “Would you like cream and sugar?”

Kylo nodded. Hux waved his wand and a few sugar cubes hopped into his cup.

“What you said. What you told me. It’s safe with me,” Hux said. “I won’t repeat any of it.”

The spoon in Kylo’s teacup stopped stirring. Kylo took the cup. It was good tea, strong and bold, with a hint of mint. He sipped again, let the warmth seep into his bones. Hux continued to stare at him and the silence stretched uncomfortably. Finally, when Kylo was mostly done with his tea, he said, “This is good.”

Hux nodded, the ghost of a smile flickering on his face. Then he asked, “Have you found your missing knight?”

Kylo shook his head immediately. “No one’s seen him in nearly a month.” Kylo tried to force the quiver out of his voice. He shook his head and scowled. “And these reports are _useless.”_

“Do you think he’s still alive?” Hux’s voice had gotten strange-- perfect and professional when moments ago he’d been soft and understanding.

“Yes. I’d know if he was dead. We’re connected-- I’d feel it if he died.”

“Connected how?”

Kylo downed the rest of his tea. Hux was smirking at him. “It’s part of our initiation rites-- a spell. It links us.”

“Like the Doctrina book said?”

“Yeah! Only--” Kylo scowled. “She’s got it all fucked about the nature of the magic. She thinks it’s a Dark spell but it’s not. Just kinda--” Kylo twiddled his fingers. “Spooky, ya know?”

Hux was grinning at him now. Kylo smiled back--he wasn’t positive why they were smiling but it seemed like the thing to do. Hux was very pretty when he smiled-- like a contented cat with his teeth and red hair-- almost hungry even.

“Who is Septem, exactly?”

“One of my knights,” Kylo answered. “Kind of my second in command, almost. Aside from the Master, we don’t really have rankings, exactly, but.” Kylo shrugged.

“Septem isn’t her real name?”

“No, of course not. We’re all assigned a number. The master is always Unum, but everyone else just sorta falls into place. I was Sex before I was Unum. So when I became the Master, we had to find a new Sex. Get it?”

“I see,” Hux muttered. He was watching Kylo very carefully, one of his brows just a little higher than the other. “Kylo, why exactly did you accept this job?”

“I told you. I want to help people. I don’t want what happened to me to happen again. If I can show them how to protect themselves-- Oh. Plus, I needed a job. The aurors weren’t a. Long term solution, and I didn’t want to move back in with Dad. I only moved out last year; going back sounds awful.”

“You were telling the truth?” Hux asked in alarm. “You weren’t playing me?”

“Playing you? God no, why would I do that? I _like_ you.”

Hux stilled. Kylo could hear his own heart beating very loudly in his ears. Was it warm in here?

“You. Like me?”

“Course I do.” Kylo tilted his teacup for the last drops and then prodded Hux’s teapot again. It jumped to the task. “You’re easy.”

“ _Excuse me?”_

“You get all flustered when I come too close to you and you smell like old parchment and mint. Like Hogwarts. You smell like Hogwarts.”

Hux’s eyes were very wide.

“See, look how flustered you are. Hasn’t anyone ever flirted with you before?”

“Why did you lie about the aurors?” Hux asked quickly.

Well, that was sudden. “I didn’t lie,” Kylo muttered rolling his eyes. “I _did_ get sacked. Only my boss agreed to say I’d resigned. He--”

Kylo cut himself off abruptly. He looked up. Hux’s cheeks were flushed and he was wearing that horrible triumphant smirk again. “Go on.”

_Son of a bitch._

“You dosed me.” Kylo looked down at his hands and they started shaking. “You. You. You _dosed me?”_

“Answer the question.”

“ _God damn it!”_ Kylo had jumped to his feet without realizing it. He sat back down and pressed his hands to his eyes. “How much did you give me?”

“Kylo, why did your boss at the aurors--”

“ _How much?_ Three drops, three drops is the recommended dosage. How much did you use?”

Hux was quiet. When Kylo looked up, he smirked. “I assumed you would be rather resistant to a standard dose. I increased it considerably.”

“ _Fuck!”_

“I am tired of all your lying and secrets. I can’t have a man around children who--”

Kylo shoved his way into Hux’s head and when he emerged, only seconds later, Hux was gasping. “Stop using them as an excuse! This isn’t about them. It’s about me and your, fuck, obsession. Why you can’t just get to know me again like a normal goddamn human, you have to _dose me?_ Do you have _any idea_ what you’ve done?”

“I--”

“I know things that could get you _killed,_ Hux. They are safe in my head, but I can’t follow you around and keep you protected if you wind up with the right facts about the wrong people!”

“I don’t need your protection!” Hux shouted, lurching to his feet.

Kylo couldn’t stay behind the desk anymore. He could feel the Veritaserum prickling behind his eyes, a care-free, heady feeling that he was desperate to give in to. Hux needed to leave before Kylo told him something truly dangerous. Kylo could fight the effects when they were focused into a question, but, overdosed as he was, he was having trouble keeping all the hidden truths in his brain from showing in his very posture.

He put his hand on Hux’s chest to propel him toward the door and found Hux’s chest to be--surprisingly solid. “Don’t touch me,” Hux snapped.

Kylo let his hand fall.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Hux demanded.

“I was wondering what you looked like under your robes.”

Hux’s jaw dropped. “You--I-- _excuse me?”_

Kylo exhaled and cracked his neck. He could feel the air in the room touching all his exposed skin. He pushed back the sleeves on his robes so he could feel more of it. It was velvety and smooth and wonderful.

Kylo put his hand against Hux’s chest again, and Hux looked up at him, eyes wide and so, so blue. “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked very softly.

“I like touching you.”

“I didn’t tell you you could touch me.”

“Can I?”

“I don’t understand,” Hux whispered fervently. “Veritaserum is _truth potion,_ it doesn’t cause--”

“It shows the truth of things,” Kylo told him. “If you’d asked Phasma-- I assume she gave it to you-- if you’d asked her, she would have explained that a large dose doesn’t actually make the impulse to speak the truth stronger than the recommended dose. It just makes it harder to hide it everywhere else.”

“So you. _Groping_ at me with your ridiculous hands is the truth of things, hmm?” Hux snapped.

But he still hadn’t told Kylo to drop his hand.

“I’ve wanted to touch you since Halloween. Before even. But after we kissed--”

“This is incredibly inappropriate.”   
“You _drugged me._ You should know potions don’t act as prescribed when you don’t use the proper dosages. You work out, don’t you? I figured you for a scholar type but you’re. Kinda. _Solid._ ”

“Stop it.” Hux’s voice was sharp and determined. Kylo, regrettably, dropped his hand. “Come. Let’s go see Phasma for an antidote,” he muttered, voice tight and furious.

Kylo shook his head. “Can’t. Too many people around.” He blinked. “It feels good in here.”

“ _It feels good in here?”_

Kylo nodded fervently. “Yeah, you can’t feel that?” He reached forward and shoved the sleeve of Hux’s robes up. Hux’s forearm was white and creamy and Kylo could count all the little blue veins. He traced one of them with his finger and realized Hux was holding himself very steady. The only sound in the room was Kylo’s heart in his ears and Hux’s breathing which had picked up and was nearing a pant. Was he alright? Kylo lifted his eyes and found Hux’s eyelids were fluttering. He was staring at Kylo’s finger against his arm, at Kylo’s hand wrapped around his wrist and holding him in place. “Do you feel that?”

Hux’s lips moved but he didn’t immediately find his voice. “I could ask you anything right now.”

“If you mention the Knights, I’ll throw you out. But,” Kylo paused and licked his lips. “Anything.”

Hux fell silent, and Kylo pushed the sleeve of his robe higher so he could trace the veins along the inside of Hux’s elbow.

Hux scoffed. “Why are you doing that?”

“I like your skin.”

Hux made a disbelieving sound and Kylo, without thinking, brought Hux’s wrist to his lips. Hux’s scoff turned into a gasp and Kylo couldn’t help the hum of content that slipped out of him. He pressed another kiss to Hux’s palm and Hux said, “I have to go, you’re not thinking clearly, you’re--”

“I don’t want you to go.”

Hux chuckled and it was a crazed little sound. “You don’t know what you want right now.”

“That’s not how it works. I know exactly what I want. I’m just not afraid to tell you.”

“What do you want?” Hux said the words too quickly, a rush of hot air that Kylo could _feel_ against his skin like a too close whisper.

“I want you to sit on my desk so I can suck your cock.” Kylo spoke the words against the skin on Hux’s arm. He was so busy staring at the creases in Hux’s hand, he almost missed the way Hux’s eyes changed, the way his furrowed brows lifted and his pupils grew fat and dark. And really his eyes were _so blue_ right now--

Hux buried his free hand in the robes at Kylo’s chest and pulled him forward so hard Kylo stumbled.

But it didn’t matter because their lips came together, hot and wet and desperate and Kylo actually whimpered because it was too much, too fast. The air on his skin had been heaven. Hux’s skin against his lips had been worse.

This was. Kylo didn’t have words for what this was. They had found a very interesting use for Veritaserum.

Hux bit his lip and the jolt of it, the pain, sent wonderful chills tingling through his whole body. He was so focused on the overwhelming sensation at his lips, his hands had gone still and it wasn’t until he felt the air against his chest that he realized Hux had unbuttoned his robes and pushed them open. His skin prickled and his muscles clenched like he was cold even though the room was warm and pleasant and perfect. Sunlight streamed in through the window. The castle was alive, but they were alone, tucked into Kylo’s little office-- one of the few places he felt safe in the whole damn school.

Hux broke away from him and Kylo whined in complaint.

Hux scowled at him, even as his fingers moved over the buttons of his own robes. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Kylo nodded as enthusiastically as he could. “No one’s kissed me in a long time.”

“How long?”

“Two years.”

Hux gave Kylo a bitter, amused smirk and his robes fell to the floor. “Five years. I win.”

“I think you lose.”

Hux snorted in amusement and with absolutely zero prompting, cleared a space on Kylo’s desk and sat on it.

Kylo gaped at him.

“Well?”

Well.

The desk jumped when Kylo slammed his hips into it, and he was stunned when Hux wrapped his legs around Kylo’s waist like it was the most natural thing in the world. He put his lips on Hux’s neck and Hux actually shuddered-- _shuddered_ all the way down to his fingertips and Kylo hadn’t expected that at all, hadn’t expected him to be so _responsive._

He wanted to linger here for hours, swirling his tongue against the pulse in Hux’s throat, nipping at his earlobe, squeezing his hands around Hux’s slender waist. Hux was leaning back slightly and had both his palms flat on the desk, presenting himself for hot touches and desperate kisses and Kylo couldn’t quite track in his mind how they’d gotten here. How they’d jumped from seething anger and demands to. Well, a completely different type of demand. And Hux was certainly demanding. He didn’t even pretend to care for Kylo’s pleasure, simply tilted his head back and gasped his appreciation when Kylo kissed him just right.

Kylo moved to Hux’s chest when he couldn’t stand the thought of waiting anymore. He could still feel the air like a tangible thing, enveloping him in soft warmth and it made the press of his lips against Hux’s skin an impossible burst of sensation that was making _him_ shudder like Hux had when Kylo bit him. He paused over Hux’s nipple, the hard, tight flesh and all the little goosebumps intoxicating and overwhelming against his own too hot mouth. His horribly neglected cock pulsed against his slacks and he whimpered again like he might cry.

Hux was impatient. When Kylo moaned against his chest, Hux pushed him away and unbuttoned his pants himself. Kylo watched him do it. He didn’t shove his pants down-- just shifted them enough so his fully erect cock emerge unhindered.

Kylo wet his lips. “That is literally the most beautiful dick I have ever seen.”

Hux’s laughter was sharp like a gunshot, surprised and harsh. He pulled it back quickly, but Kylo was already staring at his face. “What?”

“You. That’s what you said the first time you saw it.”

“I imagine it holds a lot more weight now,” Kylo deadpanned. “I’ve seen a lot of dicks.”

Hux rolled his eyes and said very casually, “Whore.”

Kylo felt all the muscles in stomach contract and he moaned, “Oh, _fuck.”_

“What?” Hux said, nonplussed. They weren’t even touching. Hux’s hand, casually stroking his own cock, stilled.

Kylo lurched to his knees and Hux gasped at how sudden, how terribly desperate the motion was. Kylo said, “I love dirty talk. Keep talking.”

“That wasn’t-- you _are_ a whore. I wasn’t trying to--”

But Kylo had moaned again and with one quick, smooth motion wrapped his lips around the head of Hux’s cock, tongue pushing desperately at the slit.

“Oh, _god.”_ Hux curled forward, hands grasping at Kylo’s head frantically and settling for squeezing around his ears. Kylo moaned around him and sank deeper, reveling in the velvety feel of Hux’s hot skin on his lips, his tongue, the way Hux’s skin pulled when Kylo rose to the tip and sucked. A single, coherent thought drifted through his head: he was thoroughly pleased that wizards, unlike the muggles he’d been with, did _not_ practice circumcision.

Hux was digging his nails into the skin around Kylo’s ears. There were a few wonderful moments where Kylo could hear nothing but frantic panting and the wet, desperate suck and pull of his own lips. Then Hux threw himself backwards, knocking aside the papers and knickknacks Kylo had decorating his desk with a huge clatter. Kylo lifted his head just long enough to glimpse Hux’s chest arching into the air, his head hanging off the other side of the desk, before Hux shoved him roughly back down and gasped, “Whore, slut, dirty fuck, fuck, _fucking hell--”_ Every word hit Kylo like a caress, made him shiver with want, and he yanked Hux forward with one hand and pawed at his own pants with the other.

Hux kept up a truly ridiculous barrage of insults mixed with dirty talk and Kylo lost track of what he was saying, focused instead on the rising pitch of his voice, the way he was bucking at Kylo’s lips, until after one long, drawn out moan, he jammed his own fist in his mouth to block the sound and practically screamed when he came, hips lifting off the desk, bony heels digging into Kylo’s back, and his other hand pulling so fiercely at the hair above Kylo’s ear, Kylo was getting a cramp in his neck from fighting to keep his head straight.

Kylo swirled his tongue until the last tremors left Hux’s body and his legs went slack over Kylo’s shoulders (Kylo had zero recollection of how they had gotten there).

Hux panted for breath as Kylo pressed gentle kisses to his hips and tried not be disappointed-- that hadn’t taken long at all. Judging by the way Hux was still shaking, Kylo had at least made it good.

When his breathing settled, Hux sat up and pushed Kylo’s face away. Kylo sat back on his heels and tried not to feel incredibly dejected. “Do I at least get a kiss?”

“No,” Hux muttered. He tucked himself back into his pants and jumped from the desk, completely ignoring the mess of papers and quills and spilled ink he’d created, and picked up his wand. When he waved it, his robes picked themselves up off the floor, shook themselves out, and fluttered over for Hux to slip back into.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m your superior and this was not--”

“So I can suck your cock but you can’t give me a kiss after? What’s the verdict on my cock? Can he get a little attention?”

Hux smirked sourly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was, perhaps the most satisfied Kylo had ever seen him and trying desperately not to show it. Kylo grinned at him. “I think you can take care of that yourself.” Hux had his hand on the door in an instant and he only paused long enough to say, “Be sure to think of me.” Then he threw open the door and started to waltz out into the hallway.

He ground to a very sudden halt.

Kylo leaned over from his place on the floor and saw Poe and Phasma both staring at him, arms crossed over their chests. Phasma lifted a brow. Hux’s ears turned so red, Kylo could see it even though Hux’s back was turned.

But Hux only lifted his chin, straightened his robes, pushed a hand through his hair, and marched off as if he’d just given Kylo a very thorough talking too.

Phasma and Poe watched him go. Then they both leaned slightly so they could see Kylo. Now Poe raised a brow.

Kylo wiped the corner of his mouth with his thumb. Poe said, “Oh, for _fuck’s sa--”_ before Kylo lurched for his wand and used it to slam the door in their faces.

He did think about Hux. He thought about Hux _a lot_ and it wasn’t until he was using his wand to clean up the mess he’d made of himself that he realized for the first time in weeks, he hadn’t thought once about Tribus.

He didn’t know if he felt incredibly relieved. Or incredibly guilty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say, this chapter, was AMAZINGLY fun to write. I didn't realize this was going to become a Knights of Ren thing but holy shit I love them and I hope you do too. Also, please appreciate my not at all HP canon creative use of Veritserum. :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH it's been so long since I've updated but HERE IT IS. I'm sorry. The KBB distracted me please forgive me. 
> 
> But also, I'm feeling very attached to and also anxious about this chapter so I wanted to make sure it was perfect before I shared it. 
> 
> I mean, I dunno if it's perfect, but I'm satisfied soooo???
> 
> Please enjoy. <3<3<3

“You don’t have to tell me. I already know.” 

“Phasma. There is no possible way you know what Ren and I spoke about in his office.” 

“Speaking?” Phasma said incredulously. “You call that  _ speaking _ ? Poe and I wouldn’t have had to cordon off the corridor if you were just  _ speaking.  _ You’re lucky Oragana or one of the other professors didn’t come walking down that hallway and ask us what the detour was for.” 

“Why would you block off the hallway?” Hux asked in annoyance, pushing all the homework essays he had to grade into his bag. 

“We could hear you,” she deadpanned. 

Hux felt the color drain out of his face. “You. You uh. What?” 

“Relax,” Phasma said with a smirk. “Once you two stopped fighting, we uh. Moved away from the door.” 

Hux’s eyebrow twitched. “Why were you near the door in the first place.” 

“Poe. Poe saw you go into Kylo’s office. Thought you were about to start dueling again, so we cleared the hallway and hung around for a listen.”

“ _ Phasma.”  _

“Don’t worry, hon. We didn’t hear much of anything after-- how did he say it? ‘Sit on my desk so I can--’”

“ _ Enough!”  _ Hux half shouted, totally mortified. “You. Have you no sense of decency?”

“Nope. You can thank Poe I didn’t hear any more. He dragged me back across the hallway and told me we should just make sure you two weren’t  _ disturbed.”  _

Hux put his face in his hands. 

“So,” she wheedled. “How do you feel?” 

“Like I need a drink,” Hux muttered. 

“You’re coming with us to Hogsmeade Saturday, right?” 

“Yes,” Hux groaned. “Although I really shouldn’t. I have so many papers to grade…”

“Finish Sunday,” Phasma commanded. “You’re getting those little wrinkles around your eyes that tell me you need to relax a little. I’ll even sneak into Honeydukes and buy you a few chocolate frogs so no one knows they’re for you.” 

“I don’t like chocolate frogs,” Hux lied.

“Oh, please. You could buy a house with your card collection.” 

“Thank you, Phasma,” Hux sighed. “I’m going to finish these in my room.” 

Phasma shrugged and turned toward his office door. “Course. See you tomorrow.” 

Hux waved her off and sank back into the chair as soon as she was gone. He took a few deep breaths, counted to ten, and then slipped out into the hallway, bag forgotten in his office. 

Ren’s bedroom was near the Gryffindor common room. It was late enough that Hux should be able to make it there undetected. 

It was a close thing. Halfway there-- and nowhere near where the Charms classroom, or Hux’s bedroom in the dungeons was-- Hux had to throw himself behind a statue to avoid Finn, Poe, and Phasma patrolling the halls.   
“--tried to tell me they were just talking,” Phasma gossiped. Poe snorted in amusement. “Like I don’t know what a blow job sounds like.” 

“How  _ do  _ you know what a blow job sounds like?” Poe pressed. 

Phasma shrugged. “Sorta common sense, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Poe muttered.

They rounded a corner and Hux couldn’t hear them anymore, which was good because he was going to  _ murder  _ Phasma come morning. He waited until their voices had faded away before he darted out and up the stairs to Ren’s room. 

He paused outside the door, hand raised to knock. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t seem to make his hand work. True, Ren had been staring at him all day, but his face had been flat and unreadable. 

What if he thought Hux had taken advantage of him? What if the Veritaserum had worn off and he was  _ furious?  _ What if Hux  _ had  _ taken advantage--? That hadn’t been his intention. Ren had  _ seemed  _ to be in total control of himself. But.

Hux tried to wet his lips and, impulsively, leaned forward and put his ear to the door. Slow steady breathing greeted him. 

Ren was asleep. It would be madness for Hux to wake him. He was being foolish. What did he think he was going to say anyway? 

He jerked away from the door when a sound echoed down the hallway. He was going  _ to be seen.  _

Finn’s voice brought him back to himself. His temporary insanity wore off and he turned around and marched back to his room to jerk off like a reasonable adult. 

 

That was Monday, the day after.  _ The incident.  _

Tuesday morning, Hux watched Ren walk into the great hall and didn’t realize he was staring ( _ muscle under robe, lips so thick he could still feel them, hair just made to be pulled, hands, the biggest hands Hux had ever--)  _ until Ren turned his head and gave Hux a truly obscene grin. 

Hux felt heat crawling up his neck. He took a sip of his coffee, nonchalant, in total control of himself, and Ren jammed his tongue twice against the inside of his cheek. Hux sucked in a breath and managed to hold it until Ren sat down, at which point, he tried to choke on his coffee as quietly as possible.  

“You alright?” Phasma muttered when she turned away from Professor Kanata and saw his eyes streaming. 

“Mhmm,” Hux hummed.. He didn’t trust himself to be able to speak without coughing. 

At least Ren wasn’t angry. 

Ren. He took his usual seat between Finn and Rey and Hux was absolutely  _ not  _ trying to stare at him from the corner of his eye. 

He downed the rest of his breakfast in record time and told himself Ren had nothing to do with his sudden need to go be a reasonable adult before class started. 

He rushed out into the hallway, eyes glued to the staircase to the dungeons and heard, “Hux!” echoing behind him in a deep, resounding bass. 

He ground to a halt, pulse hammering in his ears. 

“Where are you going?” Ren asked when Hux, very slowly, turned around. 

“Forgot a book in my room,” he muttered weakly. 

“A book.” 

“Yes.” 

“In your room.” 

“Yes.” 

Ren lowered his voice and took a step forward. Hux was horribly aware, all of a sudden, of the steady stream of children darting through the castle preparing for classes. 

“We have thirty minutes until first class.” 

Hux swallowed hard. 

He turned without another word and trotted back down to his bedroom, Ren following close on his heels.

It was far too quick. The moment the door closed behind them, Ren was tugging at Hux’s robes, licking at his lips, pawing at his cock through his slacks. Hux could feel his heart rate rising and his eyes rolled back. Ren muttered, “Fuck, but you are gorgeous.” 

“You’re not angry?” Hux blurted. 

“Yeah, kinda,” Ren whispered into his ear. “But I--”

There was a knock at the door. 

Instinct, an overwhelming urge for self preservation, made Hux shove Ren into the space behind the door and he swung it open as quickly as he dared, once he ensured his hair wasn’t mussed and his erection was hidden by his robes. 

Rose stared back at him, smiling pleasantly. Hux gaped at her. 

“You-- I-- what--”

“Phasma said you ran out of breakfast. She was afraid you were sick-- are you feeling alright?” 

“I’m  _ fine.”  _

“Are you sure? You do look a little flushed.” Rose reached out and laid the back of her hand against Hux’s forehead. “And sweaty. You’re warm too. You better come to the hospital wing and we’ll get you all squared away.” 

“I’m  _ fine,  _ Rose. Now, if you’ll just excuse me--”

“I’m not taking no for an answer!” Rose said cheerfully. “I’ll never forgive you if you get the students sick because you were too stubborn to come take some Pepper-up potion.” 

“But I--”

Rose clapped her hands twice. “Chop chop!” 

Hux turned his head just enough that he could see Ren staring at him from behind the door, eyes wide and hand pressed to his lips to keep himself quiet. Ren narrowed his eyes and shook his head. 

Hux looked back at Rose, forced his lips into a horrible snarl, and said, “I’m  _ fine,”  _ before slamming the door in her face. 

He sagged as soon as the door was closed, but they both stood perfectly still, waiting for Rose to walk away. Hux heard her  _ humph  _ and then, finally, her footsteps echoed down the hall. 

Hux turned and looked at Ren.

Ren sighed hugely and said, “This was a bad idea.” 

“Incredibly.” 

“I’ll go out first.” 

“Yes, alright.” 

Ren paused at the door, hand on the knob. “What about later? After all the kids are asleep?”

“I nearly got caught twice last night,” Hux muttered without thinking. 

Ren grinned at him and Hux felt his stomach flip over. “I thought that was you.” 

“You were  _ asleep.”  _

“I was  _ meditating,”  _ Ren countered. 

“ _ Meditating?”  _ Hux drawled. “Since when do you meditate?” 

It took him a split second too long to realize what he’d done, to understand why Ren was staring at him like that. 

He kept talking to Ren like he knew him, like he’d always known him, like he was still Ben Solo. Kylo Ren may have had Ben’s honey cracked eyes and luscious hair, Ben Solo’s dashing smile. But Kylo Ren was not Ben Solo. He was not. 

Ren cleared his throat and said, “When I joined the Knights.”

“Why?” Hux whispered. 

Ren studied him, lips quirked and curling on one side. Then he said, “The magic that links the Knights is powerful stuff. Not easy to handle. Meditation keeps me… centered.” 

Hux snorted. “This is you centered?” 

A vein under Ren’s eyebrow twitched and for one second, his eyes were so round and so dark and Hux wasn’t sure what he’d said but he promised himself he’d never say it again if only to keep that  _ pain  _ off Kylo Ren’s face. 

“Mostly,” Ren said softly. 

Silence stretched between them. The hallway sounds lulled and Ren’s back suddenly got straighter. “Right.” 

“We can’t do this again,” Hux breathed past horribly dry lips. “It’s. It’s a bad idea.” 

Ren paused, hand on the doorknob, and stared at Hux’s nose, apparently, but not quite, meeting Hux’s eye. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. We could. Someone could find out.” 

Hux felt his stomach plummet and an icy chill raced up his spine. “Someone. Yes. Exactly. Someone could find out.” 

His stomach coiled into a horrible knot and Hux couldn’t look at him anymore, at the man who wasn’t Ben Solo. Hux just wanted him to  _ leave.  _

Ren whispered, “For the best.” 

Hux nodded. 

It was for the best. 

 

He told himself that all week. Everytime he passed Ren in the hallway. Everytime he saw him at meals. Everytime he woke from those horrible dreams with his chest hurting and his hand already wrapped around his cock. 

It was for the best. 

Phasma didn’t speak to him for once when he met her for the trip to Hogsmeade. She just gave him a once over, pursed her lips in concern, and patted him on the shoulder. He shrugged her away with a scoff and started herding the students along. 

Phasma was true to her word; while Hux was busy breaking up a snowball fight that had grown too violent, she snuck away to Honeydukes. Hux was too focused on the fight to pay attention-- a Gryffindor-- it was  _ always  _ a Gryffindor-- had bewitched a very large snowball to slam a Slytherin in the chest over and over again, reforming every time it broke. The Gryffindors were howling with laughter while the Slytherins hurled insults, but the boy who was the subject of the spell looked on the verge of tears and no one else seemed to notice. The students were oddly unresponsive to him. Normally, he need only snap his fingers to send a crowd scattering-- a trick he’d learned from Professor Sloane herself. But today, they just looked up at him and kept giggling, wands twitching behind their backs. Hux had to dock ten points from both houses and hand out two detentions before he was satisfied the little brats were sufficiently  _ respectful  _ again. 

By that point, Phasma had returned and shoved a bag of sweets in his hand. 

“Thank you.” 

“What was that all about?” she muttered, watching the children retreat. 

Hux scowled. “Do they seem a bit surlier than usual to you?” 

Phasma chuckled. “No. That’s just you.” 

“Me? What--”

“You’ve just been a little. Distracted lately. You let them get comfortable.” 

Hux bristled, ready to tell Phasma to take her opinion and do something obscene with it, but then he realized he hadn’t properly yelled at anyone in weeks and the last detention he’d given had been truly mediocre in it’s creativity. Instead, he peered into the sweets bag and saw the most chocolate frogs anyone had ever given him at a single time. 

He closed the bag and wondered who had decided to curse him with such a thoughtful friend. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to start  _ relying  _ on her. 

“I’m meeting Rey and the guys at the Three Broomsticks. You want to come?” 

Hux shook his head. “I’ll keep an eye on the students. Go ahead.” 

For one awful moment he thought she would argue or insist. But then she just said, “Alright.” And clapped him on the shoulder again. Why did she keep doing that? 

Hux wandered after that. His head was so full he couldn’t pick apart any one thought; rather they were all whirled together into a horrible confused jumble. 

Without meaning too, he looked up and found himself at the trail leading up to the Shrieking Shack. 

No one was around and he wondered why. Normally students thronged the place, angling for a glance at the most haunted house in Britain. He absently reached into his bag and pulled out a chocolate frog; no one was around to watch him eat it. 

He already had the card--Qui-Gon Jinn. He didn’t even bother reading the text-- just dropped it back in the bag and bit the frog’s head off. 

It had been years since he’d been in the Shrieking Shack. He’d been a student, on his last school sanctioned trip to Hogsmeade. It had been spring, the snow already melted. The Shack looked even more run down now; Hux realized suddenly he had no idea who was in charge of its upkeep. That was a shame. It was a landmark, even if it was a rather macabre one. 

Instinct took over as he approached the Shack. He ducked his head, quickened his step, like he’d get in trouble if anyone saw him. Of course no one would care if a Hogwart’s professor snuck in for a look around. 

It smelled like dust and dirt and the thrill of rule breaking. Armie had broken so few rules in his life, sneaking up to the Shrieking Shack just once had felt like the most delicious betrayal-- the second and third and fourth time had only gotten better. 

The dust was disturbed and then settled again-- he could make out footprints and huge scrapes that had happened weeks ago. Someone had left old firewhiskey bottles strewn about and Hux waved his wand until they stood in an ordered little line by the door. 

What surprised him the most was how unchanged it was. He could remember dragging his fingers along this same wall as he climbed the stairs, could remember that the third step up creaked like it would crack, but never did. The same ratty old linens were still on the broken bed in the corner. The holes in the rotting furniture upholstery had gotten a little bigger, but there were no new ones. 

Hux felt like he was breaking a rule again when he put his back to the wall by the door and slid to the floor, clearing the dust with his robes. He peered around the room as he pulled out another chocolate frog (the card was Bastila this time, but with a rare misprint in the flavor text. He carefully tucked it into his robes). For a haunted place, the Shrieking Shack had always been oddly peaceful. And now.

Now Hux couldn’t make himself hate it like he wanted to. Nostalgia circled him like the clouds of dust on the floor and he couldn’t seem to rationalize why he’d spent the last seventeen years loathing the site of this place. 

The third step creaked. 

Hux jumped to his feet and whipped out his wand. But it was only Ren in the doorway. Hux lowered his wand with a wave of relief and only realized after he’d sighed aloud that he should be even more anxious, seeing Ren there instead of someone-- literally anyone-- else. 

“Sorry,” Ren muttered. He looked surprised. “I saw the footprints. I figured you were a student. I wasn’t trying to--”

Hux was feeling uncharacteristically gregarious. “It’s alright.” He sank back to the floor and tugged the chocolate frogs toward himself again. It briefly crossed his mind that he should hide them in his robes but if Phasma knew about his particular sweet tooth, he didn’t see why Ren couldn’t too-- Phasma hadn’t been inside him. 

Ren shifted awkwardly. He looked too big to be allowed, huge hands hovering at his sides, shoulders shrugged against the wind that crept through the floorboards, lips quirked down in that awful hangdog expression he always wore when he hoped no one was looking at him. 

Hux held out the bag. “Chocolate frog?” 

Ren chuckled and the sound was a little surprised and a little shy. “You snuck up here to eat sweets?” 

Hux shrugged. “I told a student I liked chocolate frogs once. They kept bombarding me with sweets every time they went to Hogsmeade there after. My card collection appreciated the thought but I loathe suck ups.” 

Ren smiled and shook his head, but he accepted a frog and sat down beside Hux. They opened their cards in silence. Ren frowned at his. Hux asked, “Who did you get?” 

Ren held it up. “Anakin. You?” 

Hux peered down at his card and grinned. “Revan. I’ve been looking for him.” Ren put the chocolate to his lips and held out his card to Hux. Hux frowned. “Don’t you want it?” 

“I stopped collecting these a while ago,” Ren mumbled. “My dad sold em off or gave em away when I was.” He cleared his throat. “Gone.” 

Hux tried to school the expression of terror that had grown on his face into submission, but Ren still noticed. “What?” 

“You. How many cards did he sell?” Hux asked, aghast.

Ren shrugged. “I’d been collecting since before I got to Hogwarts so. I dunno. A lot. Used the money to buy my mom this really nice necklace thing. So. It’s alright I guess.” Hux made a disbelieving sound and, purely to change the subject Hux guessed, Ren said, “How long have you been collecting them?” 

Hux chewed his chocolate slowly. “Since my seventh year.” 

Ren blinked at him and then turned away. Hux focused very intently on the chocolate and pretended not to notice the way Ren was clearing his throat. When he lifted his eyes again, Ren had turned back to him. Hux silently handed him another chocolate. 

Ren’s eyes glazed very suddenly, like a cloud passing in front of the sun and his lips went slack. “Kylo?” Hux snapped in alarm. 

For one horribly long moment, Ren was stiff and unmoving, eyes unseeing and fingers still poised to accept the chocolate. Then he gasped and slammed his palm against his eyes. 

“What the hell?” Hux hissed. “Are you--”

“Fine, I’m fine.” 

“What was that, that happened in my classroom, what’s wrong with you?” Hux spat the stream of questions in one long, angry breath so that when he finally did fall silent, Ren’s lack of response was even more damning. 

Ren stared at Hux’s nose, the seconds stretching into minutes. 

And then he said, “I’m getting flashes.” 

“Flashes?” Hux scoffed. 

“Memories.” 

Hux felt like the sky had opened up and dropped a storm on his head-- a storm just for him. “What.” 

Ren shook his head. “I can’t really explain it. But sometimes.”

“What did you see? Just now, what did you see?” 

“Nothing,” Ren insisted defensively. He studied Hux’s face in suspicious confusion. “Just. Giving you a chocolate frog. Our fingers touched. It was just a flash, like I said.” 

Hux sighed and sagged in relief and realized a split second too late how suspicious that was. 

“What did you think I saw?” And then, “Hux. Answer me.” 

Hux was looking everywhere but at Ren’s face and the second he cut his eyes sideways to catch Ren’s expression he was stuck. 

Because it wasn’t Ren he was looking at. Not in this place. Not like this. 

Hux dropped his head against the wall. “How are you remembering? You shouldn’t be able to do that.” 

“One of my knights. She. Did something. It was like coming unstuck.”

“What else have you remembered?” 

“Not much,” Ren muttered. “Studying mostly.” 

Something caught in Hux’s throat. He nodded. 

“What are you afraid of?” 

The question startled Hux into turning his head and he wished he hadn’t, wished Ren would just stop  _ looking  _ like that. It would be so much easier if he just stopped looking like that. 

“I. Ren, what happened between us. It wasn’t your fault.” For once, Ren was totally silent. For once, Hux was sure he couldn’t even hear Ren breathing. “Hell.” Hux pushed his fingers through his hair and fixed his eyes on a spider web in the far right corner of the room. “I said something--” He broke off. This was harder than he thought it would be-- or rather, he never thought he’d have to say it, thought he’d be safe. 

He’d never been safe from Kylo Ren. 

Not when he was Ben Solo. And not now. 

“I called you a mudblood.”

Hux squeezed his eyes closed when he spoke so he wouldn’t have to see. But he still felt it: felt Ren go stiff beside him, felt his fury crest like throwing oil on a fire. Felt something darker there that was new, that Hux hadn’t seen seventeen years ago. 

Ren ground his teeth together so hard they squealed and the sound jolted Hux into speech again, and he hated how fast he was speaking, how desperate he was to get it all out before Ren stormed away or did something worse. 

“I didn’t mean to.” Ren scoffed in disbelief and Hux plowed on. “You wanted to tell our friends. You begged me for two weeks to let you tell Poe and for me to tell Phasma and I knew, I knew if you did, it would get out and everyone would know. You wanted me to visit you over the summer, meet your dad-- really meet him, and you had all these plans and you didn’t understand.” Hux paused for breath, realized how much he’d spat out in only a few seconds. When he resumed speaking, his voice was slower, measured. Raw. “I couldn’t let that happen. So when you asked me why, I. Said the worst thing I could think of. That I couldn’t be seen with a mudblood.” 

The silence, for one split second, was the worst thing Hux had ever felt. 

Ren’s voice was tight and strained when he said, “Why?” 

“Why’d I say it?” Hux chuckled bitterly and shrugged. “I didn’t know how upset you’d get. My family. My father. He threw that word around constantly. I had no idea how much it would hurt you.” 

“No,” Ren hissed voice sharp and livid. “Why didn’t you want me to tell? If that was the worst thing you could think of, what was the truth?”

Hux’s head thumped against the wall again, harder this time. He stopped staring at the spider web and finally met Ren’s eyes. “I wasn’t ready.” Ren stared, waited for him to go on. Hux drawled the words as flippantly as he could, furious that Ren was forcing him to say them. They didn’t come out flippant. They can out sharp and bitter and exposed. 

“I didn’t want my father to know I liked men.” 

All at once, Ren’s anger rushed out of him. His eyes were so round. Hux’s voice, when he finally spoke again, was too quiet. He had to clear his throat and start over. “You were the first boy-- the first man I ever even kissed and the thought of him. The thought of anybody knowing that.” Hux shook his head. “So I said something really awful. And you did something awful back. And I thought if I just. I thought I could make it all go away.” 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?” Ren whispered and his words were utterly horrified. “Hux, why wouldn’t you tell me that?”

“I didn’t think you’d understand,” Hux said with a shrug he’d wanted to be casual but just felt strained. “Your family. Your father, that day. Christmas eve. He didn’t care at all. And you were so.  _ Sure  _ of yourself, like it didn’t matter, like it was the most natural thing--”

“It  _ is--” _

“I know that now,” Hux interrupted. “But. You were my first. Everything. And I was afraid. I’m sorry.” 

There it was. He’d said it. It had only taken him seventeen years, but he’d finally said it. He peered across the dust strewn room and realized while he’d been talking, he’d torn open another chocolate frog. The frog was half way across the room, trying to escape, but the magic that propelled it had given out and it was just sitting limp in the middle of the floor. He looked down at the card in his hands.  _ Padme Amidala~ Minister of Magic. _

“This room is special isn’t it?” 

Hux looked up from the card. When Padme saw who Hux was sitting with, she smiled and waved. 

“I can feel it. Like dejavu, but it won’t quite come.”

Hux nodded. “We came here a few times. To be together.” 

“Together.” 

“Alone. Together,” Hux whispered. 

“Hux.” Ren’s voice was very strange and when Hux turned to look at him, it was like looking at a ghost. He looked so young, so like the Ben Solo that Hux had known that it made his heart ache. 

For the first time, he reveled in that feeling, named it and sank into it. Heart ache. It was old, but once he fell into it, it didn’t matter how long ago it had been. Kylo made Hux feel like Armie again. Hux had spent the last six months trying to pretend Ren didn’t affect him and he’d only succeeded in falling deeper, in remembering all the little ways Ben had driven him insane and all the little ways he’d loved him for it. 

Kylo still figeted like Ben had and it had made Hux livid because it made his chest hurt. Kylo still pushed his hair out of his eyes like Ben had and it made Hux furious because all he wanted to do was see if Kylo’s hair was as soft as Ben’s had been. 

And now. Ren was staring at him so openly, so earnestly. How was Hux possibly supposed to resist that? 

“Tell me you don’t want me.” 

Hux sucked in a breath. “What?” 

“We keep. Circling each other like planets. Every time one of us gets away, the other sucks him back in. You told me to leave you alone and you-- chase me down with books and potions. We say it’s a bad idea and we, and here we are.” Ren motioned to the room and then dropped his hands heavily in his lap. He caught Hux’s eye. “I can’t stop thinking about you. Please. Tell me you don’t want me so we can get on with our lives.” 

Hux’s mouth was moving but no words were coming out. 

Ren leaned in. “I need you to say it. With those words, those exact words, you don’t want me, say it.” 

“I. Don’t.” 

And then he fell silent. Ren’s eyes searched his face. They gleamed when he realized Hux didn’t intend to go on. “Please, Hux. This is stupid, we’re being stupid.” He was tilting forward on his knees, leaning into Hux’s space, and he put his hand down to balance himself. It landed on Hux’s thigh. “Just tell me you don’t want this as much as I do--”

He cut himself off and Hux let out a thick, shaking breath. 

And then he was nodding, jerking his head so fast his hair was falling in his eyes, and saying, “I do, I do want it, I want-- I want you.”

He expected Ren to do as he’d done two times before. To fist his hands in Hux’s robes, to pull them together, to swallow every possible protest, but instead, he went still. 

Ren sat so still, Hux realized how badly he was trembling. It was the wind. It was this room. It was this man. 

Whatever it was, Hux couldn’t control it. Ren’s eyes flicked down over Hux’s chest in concern and he lifted one huge hand and laid it against Hux’s cheek. 

Hux’s heart catapulted into his throat but when he leaned in, Ren stayed still. “What are you doing?” Hux half whined, furious at how much he loved Ren’s hand against his cheek, how familiar it felt. 

“I wanna do it right this time,” Ren whispered into the dusty stillness. Hux was sure his heart couldn’t take it. Do it right? What did that--

Ren shifted his hand and dragged the pad of his thumb over Hux’s bottom lip. It was  a light, delicate touch that almost tickled and Hux’s head swam because Ren was just so close. He brought his hand up to Ren’s wrist.

When Ren finally leaned in, Hux could feel everything between them. A single strand of spider silk that held up every insult, every lingering glance, every secret, every lie. Ren pushed through it all and Hux felt it stretch. 

And then break. 

He kept his hand on Hux’s face and kissed him so deeply Hux was sure he’d never need to breath his own air again-- he could just get it all from Ren. He tasted like chocolate. 

It was like the first time-- the real first time. 

It was like Halloween. 

It was like every kiss they’d ever shared-- even the ones when they’d been pretending to hate each other. Even those had been familiar and easy and something about Ren’s lips and teeth and tongue, his hands, his air, something about  _ Ren  _ just fit in all the places Hux needed him to. 

Ren started to pull away from him and Hux trailed after until he realized Ren was just shifting his weight off his knees. He settled against the wall and tugged Hux into his lap and Hux fit there too. His hands fit in Kylo’s hair. His knees fit alongside Kylo’s hips.  

It was the longest Hux could remember kissing anyone without angling toward an end in years. And every second that passed drew him further from nostalgia toward reality. He’d forgotten. But he was starting to remember. 

He’d learned what Ben liked, where he could put his hands, drag his teeth, trace his tongue, to have Kylo panting and tugging at him with need. 

And Kylo. Well. 

Kylo had taught Hux how to kiss-- Hux had never told Ben that the night they really met, the night they snuck out to the quidditch pitch, had been the first time Hux had really kissed anyone. Hux had been too relieved that he didn’t thoroughly botch it (and too surprised when Ben had thought Hux reaching out to stop Ben from walking into the line of sight of a professor Hux had just heard had been an invitation) to admit that he had no idea what he was doing. 

Kylo had taught Hux to kiss and every other person Hux had ever been with had paled in comparison. Kissing Kylo was  _ right.  _ Kissing Kylo was like coming home and everybody else had just felt like borrowing a room.

Except Kylo wasn’t Ben-- not quite. He was even better-- surer, older, broader and hotter and fiercer and darker. 

Kylo put his hands on Hux’s lapels and said, “Can I?” 

_ Can I,  _ like he’d said so many times before. Every time they’d crossed a line.  _ Can I?  _

Hux bit Kylo’s lip so hard Kylo gasped and then whined through his teeth. “I’m not seventeen anymore,” Hux whispered, shifting so he could press his lips against Kylo’s ear. “Do it.” 

Kylo did it. Hux shivered when the cold air hit his chest, drew goosebumps wherever it touched. Kylo ran a huge hand over Hux’s back and the other groped for his wand on the floor. He waved it once and Hux felt the air warm, felt the wind die. The occasional sounds that drifted up from the town disappeared. Kylo encased them in a bubble of warmth and they were alone. 

They kissed again, and it all blurred together until the two of them finally broke apart, Kylo trying to shimmy out of his slacks without unseating Hux, and Hux trying (and failing) to take his pants off without actually bringing his knees back together. Hux had to stand, hop awkwardly out of his clothes and hate that pants were even in fashion right now-- most of the older wizards didn’t bother with muggle styled trousers under their full coverage robes. 

When he finally dropped them to the floor, he turned back to find that Kylo was standing-- totally naked. He curled his hands around Hux’s waist and Hux had to stop and stare, mouth suddenly dry and heart hammering. 

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re. Quite a bit bigger than you used to be.” Kylo grinned at him and Hux rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I meant.” He’d been thinking of Kylo’s shoulders, of his arms and his chest. Kylo had been thin and lanky when he was a boy-- Hux had been the taller of them when they had known each other. But now, Kylo had at least an inch on him, and twice his width through the shoulder. 

Kylo stepped in closer, pulled Hux to his chest and muttered, “I grew up too.” He started kissing Hux’s neck, angling Hux for the bed and Hux pushed back. 

“I’m not touching those filthy sheets-- are you mad?” Kylo paused and looked at Hux without speaking. Hux rolled his eyes and said, “Sit back down.” Hux had liked how they’d been before, had liked being cushioned in Kylo’s lap, grinding against his hips. 

Kylo’s lips curled into a smile, but Hux could feel his hands shaking. Hux didn’t blame him-- he kept getting chills himself that he knew weren’t from the cold. 

He never thought he’d find himself here. Not with Kylo. Certainly not in the Shrieking Shack of all places. All his most recent fantasies had been like Kylo’s office-- fast and thoughtless and  _ hot  _ and so, so satisfying.

But this was different. There was a soft awkwardness between them. Hux realized he was shrugging his shoulders, like he could hide himself, like the way Kylo was staring at him, the way his coffee-and-honey eyes kept raking Hux’s chest was somehow uncomfortable. Hux straightened his back as Kylo stepped away from him, slid back to the floor.

Hux forced every bit of false confidence he’d ever possessed into the motion when he stepped out of of his underwear. Kylo licked his lips and it made Hux think of the office again, of Kylo holding him in place against the desk, how  _ good  _ he’d felt. How  _ bad  _ it had felt. In Kylo’s office. On his  _ desk.  _

When he straddled Kylo’s lap again, he took his time, dropped slowly to his knees and bent his neck for another kiss. Kylo ran his hands up Hux’s back, tickled the hair at the base of Hux’s head. 

Then, before Hux could really track what he was doing, Kylo had run his fingers along Hux’s spine and slipped both hands under his ass, fingers splayed and spreading him open. Hux made a strange sound against Kylo’s lips; Kylo could fit Hux’s entire ass in his hands, could hold him up like he weighed nothing. Hux felt small and it was the only time in his life he could ever remember enjoying that. 

The tips of Kylo’s fingers dragged against Hux’s skin, pulling him apart, and Hux arched his back reflexively, felt a wonderful chill race from the top of his head to the tips of his toes, curling against the dusty floor. There was a slow heat uncoiling in his belly, a horrible impatient tremble telling him to grind his hips against Kylo’s thighs, to fist his hands in Kylo’s hair and pull, to bite the lip he had sucked between his teeth. 

He did none of those things. He waited, not impatiently, and let the other man explore the curve of his back and the opening Hux was so desperate for him to fill. But when Kylo reached for his wand again, Hux jerked against him. “What do you think you’re doing with that?” he snapped before he’d really thought it through. He couldn’t imagine what about their current occupation could possibly involve a wand-- not everything required magic for Merlin’s sake. 

Kylo gave Hux a truly filthy grin, one that made Hux immediately, he was ashamed to admit, completely reverse his previous assessment; Kylo could do anything he wanted with his wand if he was going to look at Hux like that. 

Hux couldn’t see Kylo’s hands, but he felt a twitch in the other man’s arm when he wiggled his wand. When next Kylo touched Hux, it was to press a newly slicked finger against Hux’s hole. 

Hux half moaned when he asked, “Did you just--?” 

“Yes.” 

“There’s a spell for-- that--” Hux trailed off when Kylo, still grinning, pushed in deeper and curled his finger. Hux broke off and found he didn’t at all care how Kylo responded. It’d been so long since he’d been touched like this, since anything but his own desperate, pathetic fingers had pushed inside him. 

Kylo slowed his movements, watching Hux’s face like he was studying a particularly complex charm that he was very close to working out. “There’s a spell for everything.” 

Hux couldn’t swallow the desperate sound that escaped his lips when Kylo’s finger curled again. He thought about begging for more. But Armitage Hux had never begged a day in his life and he wasn’t about to start now, no matter how incredible it would feel, no matter how much he needed it. Instead, he forced his voice not to tremble when he said, “Where’d you learn it?” 

“The states.” He pulled out and when he pushed back in, it was to add another digit. Hux moaned too loudly to really hear when Kylo said, “Americans know all the best dirty spells.” 

When the words finally penetrated, Hux gasped back, “You know more?” Whatever lubricant the spells had summoned was starting to grow unnaturally warm from Kylo’s movement. When Hux opened his mouth to speak he started to feel it like a buzzing tingle that crawled up his spine and began filling his brain with white hot static.

Kylo dragged his teeth along Hux’s jaw and Hux finally arched back, pressed down on Kylo’s hand with an embarrassingly needy whimper. Kylo said, “Maybe I’ll show you sometime.” 

When Kylo added a third finger, it was from his free hand and Hux felt his shoulders start to go limp at the slow, gentle stretch. He’d never been opened like this, with such care, such skill. Kylo seemed to know exactly how hard to push and pull, exactly how to press to have Hux feeling desperate and eager, to have him panting for more and yet completely overwhelmed by the moment he was in.  

The buzz in his head got thicker, and Hux finally realized why. 

“You’re cheating,” he gasped. 

“Should I stop?” Kylo mumbled back. For the first time, Hux heard the tremble in his deep voice, heard how frayed and wet it had grown. 

It broke him. 

“No-- _ no-- _ I need it, Kylo,  _ please--” _

Kylo silenced him with a kiss and Hux thought he’d plucked that from Hux’s head too, knew how much he would hate the memory of his own voice begging to be fucked. Kylo moved his hands from their current task, wrapped one around his own cock and pressed the other at Hux’s hip bone. The lube left on his hands warmed in the air to just hot enough to handle, and without Kylo’s thoroughly distracting fingers, Hux realized how incredible the warm tingling felt against his most sensitive skin. He hovered for a moment, eyes rolled back behind closed lids, ass cheeks and thighs clenched and the lube slicked curl of muscle fluttering against the tip of Kylo’s waiting cock. 

It was Kylo’s hand, clenching impatiently at Hux’s hip, that finally urged Hux into a slow, delirious sink. Kylo was simply too much in the best possible way and now Hux was going to have him, all of him, exactly how he wanted. When Kylo tried to lift his hips for a deeper thrust, Hux gasped, commanded, “ _ No.  _ Sit still.” And Kylo stilled under him, a desperate whine on his thick lips. Hux smirked, and added, “I owe you one.”

Hux seated himself fully, and for one long, drawn out, delicious moment, he didn’t move at all, just sat there completely still, so he could enjoy every thick inch, could grow used to the sensation of being filled, of Kylo feeling him from the inside. 

He didn’t grow used to it. The seconds stretched into minutes and Hux could feel his heart rate climbing, realized he was torturing himself by forcing them both to just sit here, but it was a wonderful kind of torture. He wanted this to last. He wanted to savor every second.   
Kylo broke first, curling his shoulders and tugging Hux against his chest with a needy whisper. “Fuck, you feel good.” Kylo’s hips jerked and Hux cried out before he could stop himself, nails curling at Kylo’s shoulders and his head falling back on his neck. 

And then he was pushing down, riding Kylo as hard as he could manage. He had one hand fisted in Kylo’s hair and crushing his face to Hux’s chest and the other on the wall beside Kylo’s head, pushing off for leverage. 

Hux managed to swallow most of his cries, managed to keep his voice quiet and choked off so he could truly enjoy the deep, throaty moans he was pulling from Kylo’s lips like prayers. Kylo didn’t want to sit still like Hux had told him to, and he felt a thrill at that, because it only made him want to push Kylo harder, force him to obey. He tugged Kylo’s head back by his hair, brought his hand from the wall to splay against Kylo’s broad collarbone and stared down at him, realized with an even fiercer jolt that Kylo was  _ trying,  _ trying so hard to hold himself in place and let Hux fuck him. 

Hux grinned at him, and Kylo's eyes went liquid and wide before he spoke. “Talk to me.” 

“Talk to you,” Hux repeated back, mostly because the words didn’t make any sense until he’d said them out loud. 

“Talk to me, I want to hear you, please?”

Hux tried to laugh but it really just sounded like panting. He still smirked, and wondered softly, “What should I say?” 

He knew what Kylo wanted. He'd felt how eager even the tamest or lamest dirty talk made Kylo in his office, when he'd pinned Hux to the desk and demanded his voice. But there was a special pleasure in denying him here, with Hux trying to grind him into the floor, with that needy whine in his voice. Hux wanted to hear more of it. 

“ _ Hux. _ ” 

It made him laugh again, and he lifted both hands to Kylo's ears to wrap his fingers in the hair curling around them. He wanted to see Kylo's face.

“ _ Tease.” _

Hux nipped at his ear in response and rose up on his knees, hovered at the very pinnacle of his seat and felt Kylo shudder at the change in rhythm. 

He planned to whisper sweetly in Kylo's ear, trace it with his tongue, but he should have known how impatient Kylo was. 

Thick forearms curled tightly around his back and without unseating him, Kylo swung Hux down, rolled on top and slammed into him so hard, Hux couldn't control the frantic, “ _ Yes,”  _ that spilled from his lips. 

Kylo moaned and demanded, “Again,” punctuated the order with another wonderful snap of his hips. 

Hux wailed. And when he regained enough control of his tongue, he heard himself shouting a stream of  _ yes _ es and  _ fuck _ s and  _ so good _ s until Kylo was gasping in his ear like he couldn't breathe, like it didn't matter. 

Hux could feel the gritty dirt and grime against his back, dragging in his hair, rubbing his skin raw on the splintered floor with every delirious push. It was the most uncomfortable he could ever remember being during sex and he didn’t want it to ever end. He had to lift his hand and brace himself against the wall to keep his head from pounding the paneling. Kylo was layering wet, sloppy kisses against his throat and shoulders. Hux was carving trenches along Kylo’s spine with his other hand, nails curled and grasping like it would all stop if he, even for a second, let go. 

All the corners in the room ran together. Hux had no sense of time and he was rapidly losing his comprehension of space-- the gritty drag against his back, the wet nips at his neck, the steady driving rhythm that was so intoxicating Hux could only open his mouth and scream at the ceiling-- it was all swirling together into one liquid drift. He was sinking into it. 

It was Kylo, jamming his hand between them, that brought Hux slamming back to himself. Kylo wrapped his fist around Hux’s cock and Hux realized for the first time that Kylo hadn’t touched him there at all, not once this whole time. 

It was the last thing he thought before every muscle he hadn’t realized he’d been clenching unfurled, every nerve fired at once, and he came screaming Kylo’s name. 

When Kylo joined him, he was actually silent, biting down on Hux’s shoulder like a gag, holding him so tightly he lifted Hux off the floor. Kylo shook so hard, Hux caught the tremble, a sympathetic tightening that arched through his exhausted arms and legs and abdomen, chasing the last vestiges of his climax like he might actually come again. 

And then they fell back against the dirty, gritty floor in a swirl of sweat and gasps and disbelieving laughter. Hux looked up and found Kylo smiling,  _ really  _ smiling, and he didn’t have the strength to fight away the answering grin he shared. 

Kylo pushed a strand of hair from Hux’s face. “You’re much sweeter with a dick in your ass.” 

“Well, you’re equally insufferable regardless of where you’ve stuck it.” 

“There he is,” Kylo muttered, before sinking into a kiss. 

It wasn’t until Kylo was rolling away from him, untangling the robe that had coiled around his ankles, that Hux saw his eyes go flat again. He knew it instantly this time, knew exactly what was happening, and he reached out reflexively, wrapped one hand around Kylo’s chin and pulled him in with the second fisted in his hair.  

“ _ No.  _ Stay here. Come back to me.” 

Kylo blinked, eyes clearing, and asked, “Did we. When we. The first time. Where we  _ here?”  _

Hux released the vice grip he had on Kylo’s hair and chin, and leaned back down, propped himself on one elbow as he stared. Slowly, he nodded. Then he jerked his head at the bed. “Right there. You got the house elves to give you strawberries and pumpkin juice from the kitchens and you snuck in here, cleaned it up. Lit candles.” 

Kylo grinned at him with one side of your mouth. “I didn’t.” 

Hux chuckled and sat up. “You did. I told you you were an idiot.” 

“I’d hope you did.” 

“You almost set the curtains on fire. You left it all burning while you went to fetch me.” Hux pointed to a charred spot on the dusty wall near the bed. “You did that.” 

Kylo stared at the black spot. Then he said, “Was it. Okay?” 

Hux considered lying. But, with come drying on his stomach and between his thighs and dust so thoroughly smeared into his hair he was certain it would never come out, he was feeling particularly truthful. “It was wonderful. You were wonderful.” Then he paused, and added, because he couldn’t resist himself. “For a fifteen year old boy that is.” 

Kylo lifted his hand and thumbed over Hux’s cheek bone. “You have dirt all over you.” 

Hux shrugged and finally sat up fully, put his back against the wall and bent one leg. “Give me my chocolates.” 

Kylo laughed and reached for the discarded bag. 

 

They walked back to the castle together. Hux saw Phasma and Poe staring at him in the throng of students, but he didn’t care-- there was nothing strange about two professors chatting with one another during the course of their duties. 

“I know a few invisibility spells,” Kylo was saying with a shrug. “No one would see me come to you.” 

Hux scowled. No matter how Kylo phrased it, he didn’t like the idea. He shook his head. “It’s one thing if you’re not seen,” he muttered under his breath. “It’s another entirely if anyone ever  _ catches  _ you.” 

Kylo groaned. “Does it really matter? Does mom have some kind of rule against this, or--”

Hux made a face and lowered his voice. “The idea of your  _ mother  _ knowing that we--”

“Why does  _ that  _ matter?” 

“She’s known me since I was  _ eleven.  _ And you’re her  _ son,”  _

“So? She’s known me a lot longer and I don’t care if she knows who I’m fu--” Hux coughed and Kylo cut himself off. “I don’t care if she knows.” 

Hux rolled his eyes. 

At first, Kylo looked like he would argue. Then he sighed and said, “Whatever you want.” 

It made Hux’s chest hurt. 

But this wasn’t like before. They weren’t  _ dating,  _ they were just-- Hux wasn’t entirely sure what they were doing but it certainly wasn’t something Kylo should tell his  _ mother.  _

“Hux.” Hux turned his head and found Kylo grinning at him. “I just had an idea.” 

“An idea--”

“For where we can meet. Where no one will find us.” 

Hux lifted his brows. “Go on.” 

“Do you know about--” Kylo paused and lowered his voice. “The Room of Requirement?” 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this one took a very long time and I am very sorry. ;_; 
> 
> It's long though so I hope that makes up for it? :D?
> 
> Special thanks to Eliot and Ajax for reading for me! I dunno what I'd do without you guys. <3<3<3

Kylo leaned against the wall and tapped his foot, trying not to appear as jittery as he felt and failing miserably. For some reason, he was afraid Hux  _ wouldn’t show.  _ Which made no sense. Hux had. Hux had enjoyed himself. Kylo had been in his head, seen it all from the inside. Hux wasn’t toying with him. 

Was he?

He was late. That was a bad sign. Kylo didn’t think Armitage Hux had ever been late a day in his life and it seemed horribly foreboding that he had chosen now to start. 

Kylo straightened up when he heard footsteps and readied his wand in case he needed to make himself disappear. He couldn’t help the cheshire grin that stretched his lips when Hux appeared at the end of the hall. 

“You’re late,” he teased, anxiety melting away in a giddy whirl.  

Hux scowled and Kylo tried not to smile even more broadly. He was beginning to be able to tell the difference between Hux’s many scowls. This one was not nearly as annoyed as it claimed to be. Hux’s eyes were locked on Kylo’s face and they were sparkling, green and crystal and hard. It made Kylo shiver. 

“Phasma wouldn’t leave me alone. She knows something is going on.” 

“You gonna tell her?” 

“I don’t know that I have a choice,” Hux griped. “She’s frustratingly perceptive.” 

Kylo shrugged. “I don’t mind.” 

“Well, why would you?” Hux asked him. “I’m a catch.” 

Kylo snorted in pleased surprise. Hux lifted one brow in his most arrogant expression but the side of his mouth had lifted. “Really, I should be thanking you,” Kylo replied as seriously as he could muster. “For letting me break your dry spell.” 

Hux’s arrogant smirk fell and he shoved Kylo on the shoulder. “Ass.” Kylo shrugged and tried not to focus too heavily on how his whole body thrilled when Hux touched him, even in mock violence with his little half punch. Hux had been stronger than Kylo expected him to be. He wondered, shamefully, just how hard Hux could hit him, if he really wanted to. 

“Kylo?” 

“Hmm?” Kylo blinked and wet his dry lips. “Sorry, what?”

“Did you get another flash?”

“No, sorry. Just thinking.” 

“Well, pay attention,” Hux snapped. “I was asking where this room is supposed to be.”

“Here! Ish,” Kylo added, motioning vaguely to the blank wall. Hux raised one brow as if Kylo had finally and fully lost his mind. Kylo rolled his eyes. “You’re a goddamn wizard, Hux. A  _ charms  _ specialist at that. Don’t look at me like that just cause you can’t see it.” 

“So how do we get there?” Hux pressed. Kylo felt a smirk pulling his lips-- a wonderful reprieve from the crushing anxiety he’d been swimming through since Tribus’s disappearance. Being with Hux was like stepping into the sun-- if only for a few minutes. He always felt clearer after, like he could actually _do_ something to find his friend. So far, none of his ideas had generated results, but they were closer, at least, than they had been.   
After the… _episode_ at the Shrieking Shack, he’d managed to triangulate Tribus’s location to some extent. He hadn’t narrowed it down enough to be totally useful, but at least they weren’t scouring the whole cursed planet anymore. 

That had been a week ago. 

Kylo was  _ desperate  _ to get his hands on Hux again. When he closed his eyes, he could smell him, hear him, feel him-- all sweat and throaty cries and tight curling muscle. His cock started to fill at the very thought. 

“We--” Kylo paused to clear his throat. “We pass in front of this wall three times and envision what we need.” 

“What we need,” Hux drawled slowly. His voice was lighter than Kylo was used to, all his sharp edges blunted by giddy playfulness. 

“Yeah. You know. Just. ‘Private room’ should do the trick.” 

“What if we both picture a different room?” Hux asked, frowning. “How will it know--”

“I have no idea how the magic works, Hux. It just does. And the Room’s never looked exactly like I pictured. Just. The general shape of things.”

Hux’s gorgeous eyes narrowed. “And exactly how often have you used this.  _ Room?” _

“I don’t know,” Kylo said defensively, shrugging his shoulders. “And I’ve used it for different things, not just. You know,” he concluded lamely. Hux crossed his arms over his chest. “We mostly just skipped class and mock dueled and stuff.” Hux wasn’t buying it. Kylo sighed hugely. “I maybe brought Poe here. A few times.”  

“How’d you find it in the first place?”

Kylo grinned lewdly before he realized who he was talking to. Hux’s lips got thinner. “Did you ever know Natalie Peters?”

Hux paused in thought. “Natalie McGillans now?”

“Yeah!” Kylo said brightly. “Uh, what’s his name, Jamie McGillan’s mother.” Hux nodded stiffly. “We were in the same year,” Kylo explained. “And we were. Uh.  _ Friends.” _

“I thought you said Poe was--” Hux started to protest. 

Kylo cut him off. “He was. But there was. Other. Stuff. Come on, Hux, it was a long time ago, let’s just try it alright?”

“I’m not sure I’m interested in your little magic  _ fuck  _ room,” Hux told him snidely, all his sharp edges glinting all at once.

“It’ll be different! It won’t be  _ the same room _ , come on, babe--” He cut himself off, realizing what he’d done the second the word left his mouth. 

Hux shifted, his shiny shoes squeaking on the stone floor. Then he said, “Alright. Let’s try it.”

Kylo tried not to grin too broadly. Instead, he took Hux’s hand and said, “On three.” Hux only lagged a little when Kylo dragged him three times up and down the hallway.

And then, as Kylo knew it would, a door appeared. 

He turned to look at Hux only to find Hux looking at him. Hux licked his lips and the expression was not meant to be innocent. Kylo felt heat flare in his cheeks, race down his neck and chest and for one endless moment, forgot they were standing in a hallway. He leaned over, the idea of keeping his hands away from Hux suddenly too overwhelmingly awful to bear. He need to touch him, hold him, kiss him,  _ feel  _ him--

Hux jerked back and furrowed his brows like he couldn’t believe what Kylo was doing; Kylo would have felt thoroughly chastised if, as he pulled away, he hadn’t seen Hux’s trembling fingers fisting in the robes at his sides. Kylo grinned at him and kept grinning as he slowly, and with a rather theatrical flourish that made Hux roll his eyes again, threw open the door. 

The room looked nothing like it had when Kylo had last been here (and when had he last been here? Had to have been with Poe, just before the end of their seventh year…). Somber, yet refined gray stone lined the walls and everything was lit by torchlight-- an odd touch when the whole room was draped in gauzy lavender curtains. He had to lift one so they could step fully into the room. 

A huge bed dominated the center of the space. Kylo was certain he had never seen so many purple pillows in his life, and when he pressed his hands to the deeply violet quilt, it swelled up between his fingers like marshmallow fluff. Two shelves at a perfectly convenient height were located on either side of the bed, where an end table might be, but positioned a bit higher. Each was lined with a range of potion bottles in so many different sizes, Kylo couldn’t possibly begin to guess what they were all for. 

Hux was oddly silent as he surveyed the room. But then he sashayed over to one of the shelves, and Kylo noticed an exaggerated sway to his hips, a slight curl in his fingers. He plucked one long necked bottle off the shelf and read, with a smirk, “Dr. Kockan’s Coconut Cream. Lightly spelled personal oil.”

Kylo thumbed a bottle on the other side of the bed, but stared at Hux. “What’s it spelled for?” 

Hux quietly read the label. “For preservation and also light healing properties. Apparently while Dr. Kockan’s Coconut Cream is intended for personal use it may also be applied ‘topically to any minor irritation in place of most balms, salves, and emollients.’” He turned to Kylo and casually tossed him the bottle. “It’s also flavored.” 

Kylo eyed the bottle appreciatively before lifting the one he’d grabbed. He set it back down almost immediately. 

“What’s that one say?” 

“Lottie’s Longer Lover,” Kylo read, struggling to keep the giggle out of his voice. “For the ‘easily excited wizard.’”

Hux snorted.

There were heating oils, cooling creams, and tingling tinctures. There were bottles that claimed to have different effects-- that could change temperature with a spell word, or that affected each wizard (or witch) according to their liking. All of them claimed to guard against the one STD Kylo was aware wizards could get (explaining that wizards weren’t generally bothered by muggle sexually transmitted diseases had been one of the more mortifying conversations Kylo had ever had with his father-- it had occurred the summer of his sixth year when Han had tried to send him back to school with a box of condoms and Kylo had never fully understood why until Hux jogged his memory). And the large majority of them seemed to have wizards in particular in mind. One bottle (on the side Hux had walked to) was specifically formulated and spelled to make sex more comfortable for un-or-underprepared ‘receiving partners.’

Hux-- rather adorably, in Kylo’s opinion-- turned bright red, but when he thought Kylo wasn’t looking, he moved it a little closer to the edge of the shelf. 

Finally, there was a box on Hux’s shelf that he carefully and curiously lifted. He stared into it blankly when he opened it. 

“What is it?” Kylo pressed, imagining all kinds of  _ wonderful  _ things that might be contained in that box. 

Hux kept staring and then admitted, “I have no idea.” 

Kylo reached out for the box and when Hux passed it to him, he said, “Oh!” perhaps a bit more cheerfully than he should have. 

“What?” 

“Oh,” Kylo amended, dropping his voice and trying to appear nonchalant. “They’re-- you’ve never seen one of these?” Hux shook his head and Kylo realized he actually hadn’t seen one himself, in a wizard store. Wizards, he decided, were alarmingly lacking in the sex toy area. He supposed they made up for everything with spells, but really, there was something elegantly simple about a good old fashioned plug. 

Kylo lifted the one in the center-- clear glass, heavy, and just on the tantalizing side of large, and held it up for Hux to see. “Muggle sex toys.” 

Hux wrinkled his nose. “Why would the room give us muggle sex toys? And what are they?” 

“It’s a butt plug.” 

Hux frowned. “That is a truly atrocious name.”

“Descriptive though.” 

“I suppose.” 

Kylo gave Hux a salacious grin and said, “I have an idea for these. Later.” He set the box down and turned his full attention to Hux. They’d been tiptoeing around each other, a strange tension in the air that focusing on the oddities of the Room of Requirement had assuaged a bit. Kylo recognized the anxiety. The fear that he might do something wrong paired with the understanding that they had come here for a purpose. They’d only fucked once-- made love, Kylo corrected himself. They didn’t quite know how to handle each other yet.

It had been years since anyone had looked at him like that during sex. Like he was the only person in the world. Like everything that had come before and everything that would come after didn’t matter. Like they were both trapped in a moment that could never end. It had been Septem, and it had only happened once. When he returned to her after-- but then everything had been different. In hindsight, he’d realized she’d known that that was it. That the moment he walked back through her door was the beginning of the end for them. That they had already started to fall apart. It was probably the first and last time she’d truly loved him. 

This wasn’t like that. That had been the end, the epilogue to a years long relationship. But this. This was new. 

Hux squared his shoulders and lifted his chin and Kylo couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He faced everything head on, Hux did. Once he realized there was something to face. He was staring at Kylo like he might size up a dueling opponent-- in fact, Kylo realized, there had been something of the same in his expression that day in his classroom, when Kylo had unknowingly tugged at buried strings and pulled everything apart. 

It made Kylo think of the way Hux had looked at him in the Shrieking Shack, when he’d said,  _ I want this. I want you.  _ Despite all that had come before, there had been no hesitation in his voice, no uncertainty. It was like he was speaking the truth for the first time since Kylo had known him. Or known him again. 

Hux’s eyes flashed and it was like flipping a switch-- how quickly he went from the immaculate, tight laced professor to-- 

Kylo didn’t bother finishing the thought. He lifted his hands, closed the space between them and caught Hux in a kiss that made Hux sigh through his teeth, stiff shoulders loosening, fingers tangling in Kylo’s hair. He relaxed into the touch like he might a warm bath after a long day. It made Kylo a little dizzy to think about-- how he could undo Hux like this, peel away all the layers he built up to face the world. 

Hux bit Kylo’s lip and the jolt of pain broke all the tenderness. He had time now to spare to show Hux how real he made Kylo feel-- like he wasn’t living a lie, like he wasn’t a monster in a classroom, like all the things he had been, that he could never un be, didn’t matter. He had time to show Hux how much that meant to him. But now, right this minute, Kylo just wanted to show Hux how badly he wanted him, how desperate he’d been all week just to get back here. 

Kylo groaned, suddenly impatient, and spun Hux around, broke the kiss. Hux practically giggled, a giddy, hot little sound that kindled a fire in the pit of Kylo’s stomach. The little laugh died in Hux’s throat when Kylo pushed him down onto the bed by the nape of his neck and started yanking apart Hux’s robes. Hux panted wetly, strained up half heartedly against Kylo’s hand pinning him in place, and gasped when Kylo tightened his fingers. 

“Pushy,” Hux hissed, voice colored with reprimand.  

Kylo leaned forward and playfully nipped the shell of his ear, perhaps a little too hard, because he felt Hux tense before he gasped again. 

It was fast and dirty and wonderful. Kylo used the lubricant Hux had set aside and watched Hux shudder and moan into the plush sheets when it touched his skin-- it was certainly effective. Kylo hadn’t done much more than press at Hux with one finger before he added the lube and far too quickly, Hux was fisting his hands in the sheets, hips rolling, and panting at Kylo to “Get on with it already.” 

He kept Hux pinned by the nape of his neck, enjoying the way, every so often, Hux bucked against him, tried to sit up, just, Kylo suspected, to feel Kylo holding him down. But Hux also  wasn’t one to sit and wait to be fucked. He arched backwards, and somewhere between pushing inside and coming with Hux’s name on his lips, Kylo stopped snapping his hips and just held on for the ride. When he finally took his hand from the nape of Hux’s neck, it was to dig his fingers into Hux’s hips, hands fisting at his skin in the seconds before orgasm charged through his body. 

He fell, panting and happy against Hux’s sweat soaked back and pushed one hand into Hux’s hair, listening to the way Hux’s heartbeat slowed, listening to his breath come back to him. 

“If you’re going to be so affectionate,” Hux muttered from underneath him, sounding simultaneously amused and put upon, “Might we actually get on top of the bed?” 

Kylo laughed and complied, crawling tiredly onto the sheets and tugging Hux after him. Hux kicked away his clothes, still tangled around his ankles, and Kylo actually shed his robes, still hanging from his shoulders; he’d only opened them at the front, hadn’t had time to fully remove them.

Before Hux could scurry away, or make some excuse, Kyo tugged him against his chest. 

He fit so well there. He was the perfect size-- not so small that Kylo felt like he would hurt him, but still thin enough that Kylo felt strong pressed behind him, protective. Even if Hux was the last man in the world who needed protecting. 

Hux huffed in exasperation, but he didn’t move away and Kylo sighed aloud. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” Kylo muttered into the skin of his neck. “Opposite, really. Feels like nothing else is real except this.” 

“How incredibly foolish,” Hux replied, voice oddly distant. A little dreamy. Kylo grinned and breathed him in. 

“Well, you know me.” 

“Yes. I suppose I do,” Hux replied, voice soft and uncharacteristically fond. “I like this,” he added uncertainly. “This room.”

“It’s a pretty spectacular bit of magic,” Kylo agreed. “Course, it’d be nice if we didn’t need it. If we could be together like. Normal people.” 

“Yes.” Hux’s voice was still hesitant, like he wasn’t sure what he was agreeing to. 

Kylo pressed his nose into the hair at Hux’s nape and breathed him in. He could get used to this. 

 

Somewhere along the way, he did.

The Room of Requirement started opening for them more often than Kylo had anticipated. Twice a week. Three times. Every night. Most of the time Kylo couldn't keep his hands off Hux, couldn’t stop himself from tearing Hux’s robes and mussing his perfect hair at the end of a long and trying day.   
Kylo realized how bad it had gotten when they both pretended to be sick to avoid having to chaperone the Valentine's day trip to Hogsmeade and instead spent the day eating strawberries the Room had conjured while in their underwear. He didn’t say anything then, just let it go. 

Hux realized when Kylo sent him a message on a paper crane that had him sprinting up to the Room like he was running from a fire. 

Kylo had been teaching a class when it started, a horrible itch behind his eyes that grew from nothing to a throbbing migraine in seconds. He hissed suddenly, pressed his hand to his eyes and one of the Hufflepuff fourth years said in alarm, “Sir?” 

Kylo opened his mouth to wave the child off, to reassure him, but then the itch pulsed twice and he couldn’t bite back the gasp of pain. Three of the children stood up abruptly when Kylo sat heavily in his desk chair. One of them said, “Professor Ren!”

“I’m fine,” he managed to gasp out. “Sit down, keep working.” The children sat back down uncertainly, and Kylo put his head in his hands, massaged his temples. 

When he looked up five agonizing minutes later, it was because he realized not a single quill was scratching. All the students were staring at him in silence, faces drawn and confused. 

“I said get back to work!” 

He didn’t meant to shout. In fact, he’d managed to go the whole year thus far without yelling at his students once. All of them jumped and ducked their heads. After a few hesitant seconds, the writing started up again. 

Good. He could sink into his own head now, find the disturbance. 

He took three steadying breaths and fell into himself like being swallowed by warm mud. It closed around him, cocooned him, and suddenly the pain resolved itself. It wasn’t pain anymore. It was screaming. 

Kylo opened his eyes with a huge gasp and all the students looked up at him again, but this time they were timid and afraid, almost guilty. 

“Class dismissed,” he said abruptly. “Turn in your quizzes and go.” 

“But, sir,” one of the boys started-- the one with the highest grade, Kylo remembered almost distantly. What did he want--?

He reached out without thinking about it, saw the student’s eyes glaze and his body go stiff, just for an instant. Then Kylo said, “It’ll be extra credit. Go.” 

Everyone jumped up then, and started moving to drop their quizzes on his desk. It wasn’t until the last child was leaving the room that Kylo realized with a cold shock that he’d dipped his fingers in a student’s mind, pulled the boy’s question out of his head with as much ease as he might turn the page of a book. 

He waved his wand and the door slammed shut so hard the windows rattled. It had been  _ so long  _ since he’d done that, and now, he’d  _ invaded  _ the mind of a  _ student.  _ His mother would be furious if she found out. Hux was the only person in years he’d been unable to resist reading, but that had been different-- he’d done it on purpose, or Hux had practically  _ pulled  _ him in. But this. This was bad, this was flexing his power on the most vulnerable of wizards. 

He squeezed his eyes shut as he tugged the hand mirror out of his robes and waved his wand. 

It took Septem longer to answer than he would have expected. 

“Master?” she said in soft confusion. Her shoulders were hunched and she was wearing muggle clothes. 

Kylo wrinkled his brows. “Where are you?” 

“I’m at a theme park,” she hissed. “In the bathroom.”

“Why?” 

“I’m on a date with a no-maj, Kylo, what is it?” 

“You-- why are you-- fuck, whatever, you can’t hear it can you?” 

“Hear-- No, master,” she whispered, some of the ceremony returning to her voice. “I can’t hear anything. What is it?”

“I think it’s Tribus.” 

Septem’s green eyes got wide and she leaned forward even further. “What’s he saying?” 

“He’s.” Kylo swallowed hard. “He’s screaming.” 

Septem’s face went white and she clapped a hand over her mouth. 

“You can’t hear it,” Kylo mused softly. Septem shook her head slowly. “Alright. Go back to your date. I’m going to. Try to follow the link.”

“I can leave, Kylo. We can all--”

“No,” Kylo muttered. “The only way you could help is if you were here. I’ll contact you in an hour with the outcome. If you haven’t heard from me in two, contact me instead.” 

“Why wouldn’t I hear from you?” she asked, playing at confusion. But Kylo heard the note of fear wavering in her voice. 

“I. Just wait for me to contact you. And enjoy your theme park,” he added with a smile. “Have you ever been to one?” 

Septem’s eyes sparkled and she shook her head. Kylo forced a bit of calm and reassurance into his voice when he smiled again and said, “Have fun. Bye, Sep.” 

He waved his wand again and the mirror went blank. 

The bell rang for lunch while Kylo was walking back to his room. He had to slow himself so as not to plow over unsuspecting students. When he reached his rooms, he sent a paper plane to Leia with one line of writing.  _ SOS, cover my classes _ . He signed it with little hearts instead of a name and mentally prepared himself for the furious talking to he would get the next time she saw him.  Then he locked the door to his room and cast a spell. He’d tried this before, dozens of times even, since Tribus had gone missing. 

But this time was different. This time, he found the link. It was thin and frayed, but he could actually see it now, glowing in his mind when before it had been nothing but black shadow. He followed it carefully, too afraid to try to speak to Tribus when he’d been missing for so long. 

The thread of connection turned upon itself, spun Kylo in circles, and he realized that even though he could feel his Knight, something was still blocking him from finding him. Something strong, and vast. And angry.

Kylo opened his eyes and called Septem. In the instant before the mirror clouded over and she appeared, he saw the failure written on his own face. 

Then, he sent Hux a message.

Hux rounded the corner to the Room’s corridor, breathless and panting and Kylo realized he’d run the whole way there.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?” 

“Fine,” Kylo muttered in alarm. He hadn’t meant to concern Hux, had just needed to see him. Had  _ needed  _ to see him.

“Well, what is it? Your note said it was urgent, what’s wrong?”

“Let’s go inside,” Kylo muttered, looking down the hallway and trying not to let Hux see how jittery he was, how distracted. Hux nodded and together they asked the Room for a place to be alone. 

Kylo stepped in first and felt his blood go cold when he spotted, right on the edge of the bed, a leather strap complete with handle and metal studs. He spun on his heels and blocked it from Hux’s view. 

“Well, go on, tell me what’s happened.” Hux’s green eyes were wide and concerned, his hair a little disheveled from his run. Kylo felt his sprinting heart slow, just a little. 

“Has that always been there?” he asked quickly, pointing to a curtain hanging from the wall behind Hux. When Hux whirled around to look, Kylo knocked the strap off the bed and kicked it out of sight. 

“Something like it,” Hux answered distractedly, turning back. Of course, the Room was always draped in silks. It gave the whole thing a wonderful nest like quality that Kylo found incredibly comforting. His heart rate slowed a little more. Maybe he would be alright here, maybe-- “Will you tell me why I just raced up five flights of stairs to get to you, please?” 

Kylo sank onto the edge of the bed and put his head in his shaking hands. Forced his voice to be steady when he said, “I’m sorry. I wasn’t-- I didn’t mean to alarm you. I wanted to see you.” 

Hux took a step forward and laid his hand on Kylo’s knee. “And?” 

“It’s Knight business, Hux. I can’t tell you about it. Will you just. Sit with me?” 

Hux blinked at him and his expression went cold and distant. He sat stiffly on the edge of the bed and his hand moved to Kylo’s shoulder, suddenly awkward. “You. You sent me a message just to sit with you.” 

“Is that a problem?” Kylo snapped, even more quick to anger than usual. The potion bottles on the shelves rattled ominously. 

“I. It’s.” Hux stopped himself and Kylo saw his eyes go dark. “An incredible waste of my time,” he snapped viciously. “I do have responsibilities you know. Ones I take very seriously unlike  _ you--” _

Kylo broke. “I can hear him,” he hissed. “He’s calling me.” 

Hux leaned into him instantly, all his plays at anger fading in a concerned rush he couldn’t hide. “What is it, what’s he saying?” 

“I can’t make it out,” Kylo whispered, voice fraying and barely held in check. “It started before lunch, the first time in months and I-- no one else can feel it, but he’s. He’s. Something is hurting him.” The last sentence came out a shout and Hux pulled his hand back when Kylo jolted to his feet. “It’s Snoke, I know it is, he’s  _ torturing  _ him, he’s doing it to  _ taunt  _ me--” The torches started flickering and the silk curtains rippled. “-- and I can hear him and there's  _ nothing  _ I can do to help, there’s  _ nothing I can do--” _

“Kylo!” Hux shouted his name when one of the torches shattered, sent wood spraying and sparks flying, but Kylo didn’t really hear him. 

He buried his own fist in his hair and didn’t realize he was still speaking out loud when he pulled. “Useless, absolutely useless,  _ weak,  _ ignorant  _ child,  _ useless, useless,  _ failure _ \--”

It happened so quickly, he didn’t have time to stop it. He’d held it in check for the last hour, had felt it simmering under his skin, had thought himself strong enough to hold it all in, he just needed to see Hux, Hux would ground him, distract him, help him-- so when it started, when it snuck up on him, he wasn’t prepared. 

It was getting darker. The torches kept blowing out, the wood kept splintering into nothing. The potion bottles clattered to the floor. A metallic scrape filled the room and Kylo was too overcome to realize it was the bed jerking across the floor. Tribus needed him, Tribus was  _ screaming,  _ how, how, how could he have left him with Snoke for that long after everything-- he knew what hell, what  _ horrors  _ Snoke was capable of, and he’d just  _ left  _ him there for  _ months--  _ he couldn’t do anything properly, could he? Tribus was going to die because of him, wasn’t he? Because he’d been stupid enough to think he was strong enough, smart enough, capable enough to keep them all safe, and he’d never, never, never be those things, not when Snoke was still alive, not even when he wasn’t, because he was  _ nothing  _ he was  _ nothing  _ he was--

“Kylo!” 

The hand in his hair was like iron, twisting his head on his neck, forcing him to his knees, and when his vision cleared, when he remembered where he was, Hux was standing in front of him, white faced and panting, looking utterly horrified, but also cold as freshly forged steel. Kylo blinked up at him and smelled blood. 

Kylo’s knuckles were bloody. There were smears on the wall by the bed and the silk hanging had been destroyed. 

Oh no. 

“Hux.”

“ _ Control yourself,”  _ Hux hissed, chest heaving. He curled the fingers of his free hand at Kylo’s chin, forced Kylo to meet his eyes, and Kylo felt himself sinking into them like water, cool, and crystal, and comforting. He took a shaky breath. Hux released him, made a sound like he was disgusted, but Kylo recognized it as fear. 

He waited then. Waited for the inevitable. 

Waited for Hux to run.

Hux didn’t run. His hands were shaking, and he was breathing fast, but he sank into a chair and crossed his arms over his chest, played at casual. 

“Fuck, Hux,” Kylo began, and his voice cracked. Had he been screaming? “I’m so sorry.”

Hux stared at him in complete silence until his breathing evened out. Kylo watched his chest rise and fall, felt his own breath coming in time with Hux’s. Felt his heart rate slow, felt himself settle back into his own skin. 

“Give me your hands,” Hux snapped. Kylo, reflexively, obeyed. 

Hux lacked Rose’s gentle touch. But he proved an effective healer. Kylo watched his flesh knit back together, felt his knuckles pop back into place and the ( _ wonderful blissful mind numbing brilliant)  _ pain faded away. Kylo took a shaky breath. 

Hux said softly, ”What do you need?” 

Kylo peered up at him in total awe and blurted, “You’re not leaving?” 

“Not with you in this state, I’m not,” Hux spat as if Kylo was an idiot for thinking any such thing. 

Kylo peered down at his newly healed hands and was horrified to find his eyes full. Hux let him sit there in silence on his knees, let him blink the tears away. Then he said, “Kylo, what was that? What just happened to you?” 

Kylo swallowed thickly and looked up, the question in his eyes. 

“You went away. Where did you go?” 

“It’s. It’s been a long time since that happened,” Kylo whispered, dropping his eyes to his hands. “Less every year since.” 

Kylo halted himself, determined not to go on, but then Hux took one of his hands. Hux’s hand was cool and firm, strong. Steady.

“It’s. He. I.” Hux squeezed his hand again. Then he finally said, “He did this to me.” He waited for Hux to asked him a question, to push for more answers, but he didn’t. If Kylo kept talking, it was because he wanted too. But no one outside the knights and his family knew this. No one was supposed to know. Kylo had planned to never tell anyone. “He did it-- I know now that he did it to. To control us.” He swallowed, wet his lips. “But that doesn’t. It’s still where I go when I-- when I feel like I. Can’t. Be in the world anymore.” 

“Darling,” Hux said, very gently. It made Kylo shiver.  _ Darling.  _ “I don’t understand what you’re trying to tell me.”

“I can. I can show you,” Kylo blurted, and he hated the idea even as he prayed to whatever gods would listen that Hux said ‘yes.’ Because showing Hux was the worst thing he could imagine except for telling him. Except for having to find the words to explain how Snoke had found everything he hated about himself and poked and prodded until he was swollen with all of it. Overrun by a festering infection he was sure he’d never be truly free of.

“Alright,” Hux said gently. He laid his other hand over the back of Kylo’s and Kylo melted toward him without meaning to, eyes drifting shut and desperate to feel him. Hux laid his forehead against the crown of Kylo’s head and Kylo pulled him in without thinking. 

Something twisted. He meant to show Hux what Snoke had done-- just a scene, just to let him feel what it was like in Kylo’s head just for a second, but then everything curved, and his muddled brain rebelled and before he could stop it--

_ \--the memory was in front of him, too real, too close. He was reliving it. He couldn’t even feel Hux there, too terribly twisted in that horrible night.  _

_ It was very cold. Kylo apparated right on the street in front of the house, and no one saw him. Nothing had changed. His bike was still chained to the front porch, rusting away. As if any wizard would actually want it. The stoop, as always, was an odd mismash of muggle and wizard artifacts. Han liked to be reminded of the non-magical world. Leia was thoroughly amused by garden gnomes and wind chimes. She’d enchanted one set to chime constantly, even without the wind. The gentle tinkling was the only sound on the street now.  _

_ With his wand gripped too tightly between his fingers, Kylo walked up the steps, and opened the door.  _

_ It wasn’t locked. They never locked their door and why would they? Han was a dangerous muggle. And Leia was a dangerous witch. They weren’t scared of anything. Not even Kylo.  _

_ Half the photos in the living room were gone. There were empty spaces on the walls where Ben’s face had been, but now it was as if he’d never existed. There was, however, one on the coffee table that had never been there before and Kylo knew instantly when he looked at it that though it was left face down, it was turned over and stared at often. He quietly lifted the edge and saw a beach scene. He’d been sixteen. Han had taken Ben and Leia on a vacation to the States-- to a beach in Florida. Ben had had nightmares the whole week, of shadows in his head, of blood on his own hands, but, for once, he hadn’t fought with his father. They’d built a sandcastle together.  _

_ That had been the summer it started. _

_ Kylo quietly lowered the photo back to the table.  _

_ Ben’s bedroom door was closed. Kylo walked past it, unwilling to see.  _

_ Han and Leia had left their bedroom door open. Why would they close it? There was no one else here to interrupt them. Kylo stood in the doorway and watched them sleep. They looked peaceful. Unsuspecting. And. Old. He waved his wand and the blanket shifted subtly around Leia so he could see her face. She had wrinkles around her mouth that hadn’t been there the last time Kylo had seen her. Han’s hair had gone gray.  _

_ All at once, Han’s eyes snapped open and he was reaching toward the nightstand for the pistol Kylo knew he kept there before his face cleared. Kylo watched shock flash in his eyes, then pain, then. Joy.  _

_ “Ben?” He spoke so softly Kylo really just saw his mouth move. Kylo lifted his chin and knocked his hair out of his eyes. “My God.” Han threw back the blanket and stumbled toward him, hands outstretched, and said, “My God, Benny?” Kylo tightened his grip on his wand. He could do this. Do it fast. Get it over with. _

_ And then everything fell apart.  _

_ Leia woke up.  _

_ There was a sudden flurry of movement and Kylo’s eyes drifted lazily back. Leia stared at him, wand in hand, and moved carefully around the bed. Her face was so white when she said, “Han. Get away from him.”  _

_ Han's face crumbled, understanding instantly that Leia knew something he didn't. He said, "He's our son." And he sounded like he was pleading with her. Kylo straightened his shoulders, heart in his throat, and started to lift his wand. _

_ "Why are you here?" she demanded. Her voice barely cracked. She sounded almost like she had when he’d been growing up. Almost like his mother.  _

_ Kylo's fingers on his wand tightened  and he sounded crazed, manic when he finally spoke the first words they’d heard from him in ten years.  "I have to. He says I have to do it. You--" He lifted his wand. _

"Expelliarmus!" 

_ Kylo felt the spell hit him in the chest like a kick from a horse. His wand left his fingertips, flew toward his mother's outstretched hand, and at the last second, just before her fingers touched it, it froze in midair. Hovered there.  _

_ And went careening back to Kylo's open hand. Leia's face drained of what little color was left. Han's settled into horrified, but determined, anger.  _

_ Kylo laughed, cold and high, so unlike anything they'd ever heard from him and said, "You know I don't need this." _

_ "Han, get behind me," Leia hissed.  _

_ "Fuck that. Ben, put your goddamn wand down and stop fucking around!" _

_ "That is not my name!" _

_ "Ben--" _

_ "Don't call me that!" A photo of Han and Leia at the beach from that same trip shattered. The glass tinkled to the floor and left deafening silence in its place. Ben's---Kylo's Kylo's ears were ringing. He turned and looked at Han and his words fell so terribly into the room even though he was speaking so softly. "I'm being torn apart." _

_ Han's eyes softened. "Ben--" _

_ "Expelliarmus." Kylo whispered the word, quiet and defeated, and Leia's wand jumped from her hand. Kylo broke it in half and tossed it aside and Leia's face got so awfully gray Kylo couldn't stand to look at her. She was scared. So, so scared. She dove for Han and Kylo flicked his wrist, sent her careening backward to land safely on the bed where thick black ropes sprung up and twisted around her ankles and wrists and waist and mouth, holding her in place.  _

_ So Kylo could turn all his attention to Han.  _

_ Leia struggled and screamed. She started breaking the ropes, not entirely helpless bound and wandless, but for every rope she managed to magically sever, Kylo conjured two more.  _

_ He turned his eyes on Han. "Will you help me?"  _

_ "Of course, Ben," Han said desperately. "Of course. I'm your father." Han came forward then, laid his hand on Kylo's cheek. Leia screamed around her gag. "I love you." _

_ "A-avada--" Leia shrieked and thrashed and Kylo's words died in his throat. "Avada--" His voice cracked. "Avada."  _

_ And then he was sobbing because he couldn't say it, he couldn't finish the spell and he just kept saying it over and over again, "Avada. A-avada. Avada avada avada."  _

_ Han threw his arms around Kylo's neck, crushed Kylo's face to his chest and Kylo smelled home. His wand fell from his hand. Leia's ropes vanished.  _

_ Han held him while he cried.  _

_ The scene changed in a swirl of gray.  _

_ “How long has he been like this?” Luke asked, standing in the doorway of Ben’s bedroom with Leia.  _

_ “Two days,” she hissed back. “I had to cast so many charms to keep him in the room, Luke. He’s.” _

_ “I know,” Luke said grimly. “He’s strong.”  _

_ The two of them stood in horrified silence as Kylo paced the room like a caged panther, like he couldn’t see them, muttering insults under his breath, “ _ Useless”  _ and “ _ Weak”  _ and “ _ Failure, failure, failure!”

_ Leia jumped when Kylo smashed his own palm to his forehead, three times,  _ hard.  _ He left a red mark under his hair.  _

_ “Have you ever seen anything like this?” Leia asked, voice tight and terrified. “Do you think it’s a spell or--? He’s always had a temper, but this is different, Luke, this is, something’s wrong-- I mean, more wrong than-- it’s not natural, not my Ben, not like this.” _

_ “Shh, I know, Leia. He’s here now. We can help him.”  _

_ “How?” Leia asked. “I’ve tried everything--” _

_ “I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve,” Luke muttered. Then he stepped into the room. His voice was calm and controlled when he said, “Hello, Ben.” _

_ Kylo snapped like a striking viper, body suddenly stiffening into a rigid line, head lifting, and his voice sounded distorted, layered with magic, with power, when he screamed, “ _ That’s not my name!” 

_ “You will always be Ben Solo to me,” Luke said calmly. He actually smiled. _

_ Kylo’s lips curled in a horrible snarl and even though Leia had taken his wand, he lifted his hand, reached out for Luke like he could choke him from across the room, and despite all the charms, Luke still flinched.  _

_ “I could kill you,” Kyo said hysterically, “He’d, he’d be so  _ proud  _ of me if I killed you, I could do it, I could--” _

_ Luke’s eyes drifted closed. Kylo screamed like a banshee, hands flying to his temples, and crashed to his knees.  _

_ The scene changed.  _

_ Kylo was asleep in the bed. Luke sat beside him. When his eyes drifted open he was calm.  _

_ “Luke Skywalker.”  _

_ “How do you feel?”  _

_ “How did you get here?”  _

_ Luke smiled, a soft, gentle little expression, and said kindly, “In your bedroom?”  _

_ Kylo looked around the room like he was seeing it for the first time. “How long have I been here?”  _

_ “About a week. How do you feel?”  _

_ Kylo blinked, and his voice was more air than sound when he spoke. “Empty.” _

_ Luke sighed and seemed to sag in his chair. “Good. Good.”  _

_ “Why can’t I hear them?” he demanded,  suddenly panicked. He tried to sit up, but Luke laid his hand on Kylo’s chest and he collapsed back in the bed with a huff of surprise, weak as a kitten. “What have you done?”  _

_ “Your mother’s charm. The one she cast when you were a child.”  _

_ Kylo blinked dumbly at him. “What?” _

_ “The one that blocks mind magic. She lifted it temporarily so I could. So I could see. But she cast it again. You’ve gone a week with no one in your head but you.”  _

_ “No.” He sounded livid and appalled. “It’s not-- you can’t-- the Knights, we have power you can’t even imagine, no  _ charm--”

_ “Is that what he told you?” Luke shook his head. “Whatever he called it, whatever he promised you, it was still just mind magic. Manipulation.” Kylo stared at him, eyes huge. “He’s been manipulating you, Ben.” Kylo winced. “You went into some sort of rage. It was almost like a trance. Do you remember?”  _

_ Kylo shook his head, but it wasn’t the kind of motion meant to be an answer. It was disbelief. He couldn’t believe it was Luke talking to him, that he hadn’t killed Skywalker already and gone back, completed his orders and  _ gone back _ \-- why hadn’t he gone back? _

_ “You’ve been losing control, haven’t you? Blacking out, losing your magic and your temper. You feel like it’s not even you doing whatever you do when you’re like that, don’t you?” Kylo didn’t answer but something in his eyes must have given him away. “Every time you lose yourself, he takes over, dosen’t he?” Kylo swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes closed so he wouldn’t have to listen. “It’s easier for him to control you when you can’t control yourself.”  _

_ “Shut up. Shut up, you don’t understand, you  _ can’t--”

_ “He can’t reach you here, Ben. Do you understand? You’re safe here.”  _

Hux wrenched away from him gasping for breath, and Kylo realized that he’d been so overwhelmed that he’d been holding Hux there, trapping him in the horrible twist of memory he wished he could forget. 

“I didn’t mean, I didn’t mean for you to see-- Oh, God.” Kylo pressed his palms to his eyes sockets. 

“I don’t. I don’t understand, Kylo.” 

“He picked me for my temper,” Kylo answered bitterly, the words muffled by his forearms. “He. He told me it was good, my anger. That it made me strong, made me powerful. But really it just made me.  _ Vulnerable. _ That’s how he got in. That’s how he used me. I got angry. And then I went away. At least enough for him to settle in. To use my magic and move my arms and legs, talk with my lips. He did it to all of us. But I was his.  _ Favorite.”  _

“ _ Kylo,”  _ Hux breathed. 

“He. Hux, I almost. My  _ dad--”  _ his words died in his throat when Hux launched himself forward, wrapped Kylo in his arms and held him there. 

“Shh, oh, my darling, my-- shhh, don’t talk like that.” 

Kylo leaned into him, let Hux hold him. He felt it all so close, overwhelming emotion that he desperately tried to stamp back down. He’d been so close-- he’d  _ come so close-- _

Even in Hux’s embrace, he was still on edge, and he realized he was waiting for Hux to tell him what a monster he was, how foolish and selfish and weak he’d been. With the memory so close in his mind, the Kylo in the Room of Requirement and the Kylo he’d been five years ago melded together and he wasn’t sure what was worse; that he’d tried to kill his father, or that he’d been unsuccessful. 

He tried to clear his head, tried to push those thoughts away and failed, wondered if he’d ever be totally free of the voice in his head that wasn’t his own. 

“I tried to kill him,” Kylo whispered. “I wanted to, Hux. Part of me still wants to.” It was a small part. A whisper of a shadow. But it was still there. Always there.

“But you didn’t,” Hux said firmly, as if Kylo was very dim for not figuring this out on his own. “You had every opportunity. You chose not to.”

“He told me I had to cleanse myself,” Kylo whispered into Hux’s shoulder. “To. Rid myself of my  _ weak, disgusting  _ muggle blood. And I believed him.” 

“So why didn’t you do it?” 

“Mom,” Kylo answered without hesitation. “I couldn’t. Make her watch. If she hadn’t been there--”

“You have no idea what you would have done,” Hux replied. 

But Kylo did know, and that made it all the worse. He loved his father. But with over ten years of whispers in his head, at that moment, Kylo had hated him, had truly believed Han Solo was the source of all his weakness. But he’d never expected Leia to be home. It had been the middle of the school year. He’d chosen that night purposely because he thought she’d be at Hogwarts. If she hadn’t chosen to come home, Kylo would have killed him. He would have been gone.

“What happened after that? After. After Skywalker came to you?”

Kylo shook his head. The days after had been some of the worst days of Kylo’s life. They’d stayed in the house for a week straight, too scared to leave him alone, afraid when they came back he’d be gone. And though she never said it, Leia had been terrified that Kylo would work up the nerve, would get rid of Han forever. She hadn’t left Kylo alone with him once, not until she was sure.

Luke had come and gone every day, cast spells. Tried to pull him back to himself-- there hadn’t been much left to grab onto, but somehow, Luke had found it. Three times Kylo tried to leave, only to find all three (and once, four--when Chewie had come to visit) of them guarding his bedroom door. Even Snoke planting impulses in his head couldn’t compel him to take on both Skywalker twins at once-- nevermind Han standing behind them with what Kylo had been frustratingly sure was a tranquilizer gun. Where the fuck he’d gotten  _ that  _ Kylo had never figured out-- but Han always seemed to be able to get his hands on things he shouldn’t have.

“They didn’t let me leave. They stayed with me until my head cleared a bit. It was the first time in over a decade I didn’t have Snoke whispering in my brain. There was--” Kylo smiled bitterly into Hux’s shirtfront. “Mom put a charm on the house when I was twelve. No mind magic anywhere inside. I kept doing it accidentally,” he explained with a half hysterical chuckle. “But once I could think. Hux, the things Snoke was doing. The things he made me-- made us all-- do.” 

“And this was the worst?”

“I dunno,” Kylo answered. “But it’s the thing that scares me the most. The people he had me hurt. They were strangers. But. Dad and I. We had our problems, but I-- he's my  _ dad. _ And Snoke. I was so convinced. I was so  _ certain _ \--”

“Shh,” Hux hissed sharply and held him tighter. “Enough. He’s gone now.”

“No,” Kylo whispered. “That’s the thing, Hux. He’s not.”

Hux pulled away and stared down at Kylo, face white and flat. “What.”

“Ever since Tribus went missing, I can feel him. LIke a shadow. He’s. He’s out there. He’s got Tribus. Hux, he's got Tribus.” 

All the emotion Kylo was holding in broke. All his terror, his rage, his pain, flooded into him and he felt himself spiraling into the dark place again, the place he went when Snoke was in his head, but then Hux’s arms tightened around him. It was like a lifeline suddenly going taunt. Kylo could feel himself pulling against it, trying to go deeper, but Hux held on, kept him from falling in. Pulled him back. 

“You’ll find him,” Hux insisted, voice so sure, Kylo felt he had no other choice to but to believe him. The idea that Hux could possibly be wrong when he sounded like that was just absurd. Then he said softly, “I thought. I thought. Based on what you said before. I thought Minister Nekos was dead.” 

“I.” Kylo lifted his head from Hux’s chest and there was steel in his voice when he said, “I thought I killed him.” 

Hux pulled away, hands falling into his lap and his eyes going wide. “You. Killed.”

“Yes,” Kylo whispered fiercely. “Only I guess I wasn’t as effective as I thought I was.” 

“How. Um. How did you--”

“Killing curse,” Kylo answered. “Only it took time to get that close.”

“I don’t understand,” Hux whispered and Kylo wanted to hug him for the steadiness in his voice, for the way he was systematically tamping down all his emotions. Kylo wasn’t sure he could keep talking if Hux had let his horror show. “The Killing Curse is--”

“Unblockable, unstoppable, I know,” Kylo interrupted. “For normal wizards. Snoke wasn’t-- isn’t normal. We.” Kylo’s stomach churned and his heart rate suddenly doubled. He shouldn’t say this, shouldn’t say any of it. It was Knight business. And it was. It was personal. It was something only Septem, Tribus, and Duo understood-- the ones who had been Knights under Snoke. Hux couldn’t possibly comprehend what Kylo was about to tell him. “He lived inside us.” 

Hux blinked at him dumbly. “What.” 

“We didn’t know where he was, when he wasn’t out being the minister. We couldn’t get to him. All our orders, all our interactions, were with each other. He was in our heads  _ constantly.  _ We didn’t know who to trust, or how to-- Hux, I didn’t know what thoughts were actually mine and which were  _ him. _ ”

“Who’s ‘we?’” Hux asked weakly. 

“At first, Septem. She. She brought me into the Knights. She was the first person I went to when. After.”

“I thought Snoke found you?”

“He ordered her to come to me. But she. She’d been manipulated like me. When I found her after that night, she helped me. Get  _ rid  _ of him.” 

“How? How did you do it?” 

He couldn’t tell Hux the details. The truth could get Kylo arrested, or killed. Or worse. Cut off from his Knights. “We had to figure out who was loyal to him. And who could be saved. Had to get rid of the ones we couldn’t trust, and keep our real intentions from the ones who could-- Septem and I were the only ones strong enough to keep our thoughts hidden, once he was back in our heads. We had to do everything without him knowing.” Hux was sitting so still, and when Kylo lifted his eyes, he found the other man white faced and biting the inside of his cheek so hard, Kylo could see the dimple in his skin. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I hoped I’d never have to do it again.” 

“How did he survive?” Hux pressed, unwilling to give in to Kylo’s vaugery. 

“I’m not sure,” Kylo admitted. He didn’t tell Hux he had a theory. He didn’t tell Hux he had a horrible sneaking suspicion that kept him awake most nights.  That Snoke had put so much of himself into his knights, he’d never really be gone while any of them still lived. 

He couldn’t tell Hux that. 

Hux peered into Kylo’s face, stared into his eyes like he was searching for something. 

And then he kissed him, gently, so softly, Kylo was afraid he’d start to cry. That Hux could kiss him like that after everything he’d done, after everything he’d just told him--

And Kylo knew in that moment. There was nothing he could keep from Hux. Nothing he couldn’t tell him. 

Kylo kissed him back and some of the raging storm in his chest stopped swirling. He realized he was sitting on the ground, legs tangled under him, and it made him feel stable. He took a gulp of air and leaned onto his side, tried to pull Hux down with him. Hux looked down at him and a tender smile flitted across his face. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I like it here,” Kylo admitted. “Feels solid.”

Hux shifted, untwisted his legs under his body and tugged at his robes until they splayed behind him like a cape. Then he leaned down and kissed Kylo again. It was so familiar. So tender. They’d been coming here for months now. Kylo knew every curve of his mouth, knew just how to twist his tongue to make Hux gasp and bite, make him reward Kylo with the tiniest show of aggression. 

Hux didn’t ask him any more questions; he seemed to know Kylo was spent with talking, seemed to know that having to explain all this had broken open all the cracks Kylo had gotten so good at holding together.  

Kylo rolled onto his back and Hux followed him over without breaking the kiss, straddled him and pinned his shoulders to the stone. When Kylo looked up at him, there was something new in his eyes, something Kylo had only glimpsed once or twice in their most heated tangle of limbs and air and lips and silks. It made Kylo groan because he’d imagined Hux like this. It was why the room kept spawning naughty little toys, why Kylo had started darting in first to hide the leather and chains it kept leaving for him beside the bed. 

He peered up at Hux and for the first time genuinely wondered if he could tell Hux what he really wanted here, like this. He’d set aside those impulses-- chalked them up to Septem and the heat of many moments. He’d assumed he wouldn’t  _ want  _ any of that without her. 

But the thought of Hux--

And really, hadn’t Kylo just thought to himself-- he could tell Hux anything? 

Before he could decide, Hux was kissing him again, taking control, and Kylo relaxed against the stone with an audible breath that made Hux smirk at him before he, with just the slightest hint of exhibitionism, slithered out of his robes. It was hard to think of anything when Hux was baring himself, inch by inch, peeling back all his layers so Kylo could see the bones in his hips, the thin bow of his waist, his white chest and pert pink nipples already puckered against the chilled air. It was hard to think of anything else when Hux was like this. 

A surge of shame washed over him then. Because Tribus was  _ hurting,  _ Tribus was-- and Kylo was here,  _ screwing around  _ with an old school fling. Didn’t he have more important things to do? Was he really that selfish? 

“Get off me,” he said suddenly, shoving Hux away with his hands on Hux’s thighs. His voice was harsher than he meant it to be-- it wasn’t Hux’s fault but still--

Their legs tangled when Kylo rolled onto his chest, pushed himself to his hands and knees, but he went suddenly, glaringly, blissfully still when he felt long thin fingers fist in the hair at the base of his neck. Hux had freed himself from the twist of legs and robes, was on his knees himself, pressed against Kylo’s back, and his voice was so firm, so hard when he said, “No. You stay right here.” 

Hux was holding his head back, clutching his hair like reins, forcing Kylo to look across the room, to keep his back bowed and his hips up and he forgot entirely what he’d been so upset about. He had nothing but a guilty little twinge in his stomach, a certainty that he shouldn’t be doing this but the inability to connect it with any actual reason. 

Without releasing his iron grip, Hux hooked his fingers in the collar of Kylo’s robes and tugged backwards, forced Kylo to sit up and awkwardly shed them without turning his head. He traced his long fingers down Kyo’s  bare back and Kylo groaned softly, arched into him and flexed his hips shamelessly, tried to direct Hux lower and--

_ There.  _ His shoulders dropped and he moaned, long and low in his throat when Hux’s hand slipped into the waistband of his pants and he felt one thin, delicate finger press teasingly between his cheeks. 

Hux chuckled and Kylo’s head went glaringly white. 

“If you wanted this so badly, you could have asked,” Hux said softly. He released his hold on Kylo’s hair and Kylo’s head dropped between his shoulders when he said desperately, “ _ Please--”  _

But Hux was already tugging down Kylo’s pants with short, sure jerks. Kylo couldn’t see him and he  _ wanted  _ to so  _ badly.  _ But when he started to turn his head, Hux pushed back against his temple, said, “No,” and left Kylo to stare in shaking desperation at the stone in front of his nose, or the lavender hangings against the wall. Hux rewarded him by palming his half hard cock and with two efficient strokes, left Kylo’s arms shaking and his breath coming in short, anxious gasps at the feel of his newly raging erection straining toward his stomach.

Hux used his favorite lube. Kylo could tell because the moment it touched his skin, he could feel himself stretching open with the most gentle, delicate push. Hux wasn’t touching him at all but Kylo could feel his eyes on him, knew Hux was watching the physical effects of the spelled lubricant with an electric, unerring gaze.  

He flexed his hips, looked for friction or relief and when he found none, the last vestiges of guilt trickled out of his head until there was only Hux there, filling him up and leaving no room for anything else.

Hux left him like that for too long. He didn’t touch him, except for the hand that returned to his hair when Kylo started to drop down to his elbows. It held him in place like a vice, held him until he started canting his hips back, trying to find Hux or tempt him and he shuddered when Hux placed his other hand against the dimple in Kylo’s lower back. But that was all he did. 

“Hux,  _ please--”  _

Hux cut him off, a lazy, cat-like pleasure permeating his voice. “I told you you only had to ask.” 

“C-can I get on my elbows?” He didn’t realize his breath had hitched around the first word until Hux was humming in pleased consent. 

“Of course, darling.” 

Kylo moaned gratefully and finally sunk onto his forearms, put his forehead against a little diamond he made with his thumbs and forefingers. “Please touch me.” 

“Touch you how?” 

That was too much. Kylo’s head was too much blank space, too fuzzy, he wanted too much to determine where to start.

So he gave an easy answer. “Fuck me.” 

Hux released a little puff of air that in hindsight Kylo would realize was the result of disbelieving arousal. But right here, right now, he could only sigh himself and moan again, “Please, Hux.” 

It was over too quickly. Kylo should have asked him for more, for his hands or his mouth first before--

Hux pushed inside him slowly, one hand still twisting viciously in Kylo’s hair, and Kylo felt a warm swell in the center of his chest. For Hux. For somehow managing to clear Kylo’s head so for once he wasn’t so full of grief and anger and fear. For Hux’s perfect, lovely, elegant cock that Kylo had adored staring at while they fucked, but had, somehow, never quit considered how it would feel like this. It was wonderful. It was perfect and it fit. Fit Hux. Fit Kylo. 

The warmth tangled Kylo up, made time stretch and bend and he realized when his voice cracked painfully that he’d been  _ loud,  _ that he’d been screaming Hux’s name in time to his thrusts, that Hux, conversely, was quieter than usual and that was somehow worse, his restrained little huffs of air and half moans. Kylo’s chest was on the ground. Hux was propelling him forward, forcing him to bow his back and push against the stone to keep himself from sliding away. Hux had stopped tugging Kylo’s hair and had both hand’s on his hips, his nails digging into Kylo’s skin. 

Kylo heard it when Hux came, heard the surprise in his voice, and the overwhelming pleasure, heard him crescendo in one short burst to his usual ear piercing shout and before his voice had fallen again, he’d curled forward, pressed himself flush to Kylo’s back so Kylo could feel him shaking. He held Kylo there and the moment Hux wrapped his fingers around Kylo’s straining cock, Kylo came himself, with a shout and a groan that vibrated in the base of his spine, that made him clench around Hux, still pressed so blissfully inside him. 

Hux bit his shoulder, a short, teasing little nip, and pulled Kylo onto his side without breaking away from him. Kylo let himself be held, could feel Hux’s pleasure radiating from him in waves. He was almost giddy with it. 

Kylo couldn’t join him. The feel of Hux’s arms around his chest, the way he’d held him and directed him and brought him from overwhelming terror to the pinnacle of bliss in barely a half hour had emotion running rampant in Kylo’s chest. 

He’d had a realization, when Hux had pressed inside him, when he’d pushed out all the pain and replaced it with himself instead. He’d had a realization when a swell of warmth washed over him and now he wasn’t sure what to do with it but he was sure he couldn’t keep it inside himself for long. 

They’d never talked of love. Only desire. 

What would Hux think of him, if he told him that truth? 

It was too big to keep to himself, too powerful, and the way Hux was holding him  _ so tightly  _ with his cheek pressed to Kylo’s shoulder-- hell, Kylo could hear Hux breathing him in, smelling Kylo’s hair, and surely that wasn’t just lust speaking, or post-coital contentment? Surely Hux felt it too? 

He opened his mouth, foolishly,  _ stupidly  _ on the verge of blurting out everything, every secret he had, every too warm feeling and every dark desire Hux had just brushed against when a green light blinded him.

The flash seemed to fill the room, left him blinking and confused and-- and-- a thin, fraying, black thread connecting him to Tribus broke. 

Dissolved into lacy shadow. 

And was gone. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you came for Room of Requirement bdsm sex dungeon, here it is. Please accept all my love and gratitude for sticking with me for this long. I hope the build up is worth it?!!
> 
> PS: I'm really bad at tagging stuff. I don't always know what should/shouldn't be tagged. But this chapter contains a nice long Dom/sub scene, and if there's anything you'd like to know about before hand, please feel free to hit me up. I've added some tags up top, but I may have missed some...
> 
> PPS: I just realized exactly how long this chapter is and just... you guys... I have a legit problem.

Hux pressed his ear to the door; he could hear movement, muttering, breathing. “Kylo,  _ please,  _ open the door,” he called as softly as he could. “ _ Please  _ let me in.” And then for good measure, he added, “ Darling.” 

There was no response. The door did not open. Ren did not appear before him, all dark curls and deep eyes and pale skin smelling like soap. 

Hux’s heart beat at his chest so hard it hurt and he let his forehead fall against the door, suddenly overwhelmingly tired. 

This is how it would end? 

He supposed some small part of him had always believed this wouldn’t last long, had even thought maybe he was little more than an amusing diversion, something to help Ren keep his mind off his other responsibilities. He’d hoped he’d earned a conversation though, when all was said and done. 

Hux hadn’t laid eyes on Ren in two weeks. 

Two long, brutal weeks since Ren had wordlessly shoved Hux away from him on the floor of the Room of Requirement, since he’d raced off and locked himself away. Leia had been teaching his classes. And no one could coax him out of his room. 

Hux couldn’t make sense of it. After all Ren had shown him, all he had told him, that he could disappear, withdraw like this... 

Hux slammed his palm against the door. “Kylo, open this bloody door this instant!” 

It didn’t work. It hadn’t worked yet; he wasn’t sure why he’d thought it would work now. 

Silently, Hux turned and glided down the hallway. If Ren wanted to lock himself in his room, he could rot. 

 

“Why didn’t you just break the door down?” Phasma demanded the next day as they walked to the Quidditch pitch together. 

Hux huffed. “How very undignified.” 

“Hux, he hasn’t been out of his room, as far as anyone can tell, in weeks. His mother is going to be forced to fire him if he doesn’t get his act together. I’d be surprised  _ you  _ hadn’t tried to fire him yet if I didn’t know how you’d been spending your evenings. What did you say happened again?” 

Hux frowned. They’d been over this. Hux had told her the whole story two days after it happened. Well, most of it. “We’d been meeting. Regularly,” he’d said.  “And he called me in a panic. We talked, I thought everything was fine and we.” He’d cleared his throat. “We um.” 

“You fucked?” Phasma drawled. 

“Yes,” Hux had replied, drawing himself up almost defensively. “Only. It wasn’t exactly like all the other times, it was.” He could feel his face going red. “Different.” 

Phasma’s eyes narrowed. “Different how?” 

“Well. Before, we’d. We’d only. He’d always been the one--”

“So what, like you fucked him for once?” 

“Yes,” Hux stammered almost miserably, sinking into his seat. “And he seemed to enjoy himself but then when we were done, he just. Raced out of the room, like he couldn't wait to be rid of me.” 

“What do you mean he seemed to enjoy himself?” 

“Oh, Phasma, do you want a play by play?” 

“Kinda.” 

“I was. I was a bit more.  _ Assertive  _ than I had been in the past and, I suppose we didn’t exactly discuss… But it wasn’t anything dramatic,” he sulked, letting his forehead drop to his desk. “All I did was pull his hair. Mostly. And tell him what to do a little.” 

Phasma snorted. “Figures.” 

“What?” 

“That you’re even bossy in bed.” 

“It can’t be that,” Hux protested weakly. “Can it?”

Phasma shrugged. “You know him better than I do.” 

Now she looked at him shrewdly. “You still haven’t told me what he was upset about. Why he called you in the first place.” 

Hux shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not your business.”

“Seems like this big secret it more likely what caused-- hey.” She peered across the grounds, staring at the gates that lead to Hogsmeade. “Who is that?” 

Hux frowned. Standing outside the gate was a woman. Tall, thin, and pale, with very short red hair, she was standing with her hands tucked into emerald green robes and peering up at the castle. 

“Go on without me,” Hux muttered to Phasma. “I’ll see what this is about.” 

They split off, Phasma to the Quidditch pitch to watch the last match of year, Hux to the gates to identify the stranger. 

He didn’t recognize her. He knew as he drew closer that he had never seen the woman before, which was strange because she looked to be roughly his age. They would have been in school together. 

“Can I help you?” he demanded, voice sharper than it really had right to be. But she was peering up at the castle so strangely, like she’d never seen it before. 

“You work here?” 

Hux blinked. 

American. 

That explained why he’d never seen her before. She peered at him and he saw her eyes were almost as green as her robes. She pushed a tiny shock of red hair higher on her forehead and popped the gum she was chewing. She was very thin, with elegant, angular features. She had a ring in her lip. 

“Yes,” Hux snapped. “Can I help you?” 

“Yeah. I’m looking for, uh, Professor Ren. You seen him around?” 

Hux felt his eyes narrow. Her warm voice was friendly, and disconcertingly calming. It made Hux’s skin prickle. “Professor Ren is indisposed,” Hux snapped. “Send an owl.” 

He whirled to go, and a sharp, crystal clear voice rang out behind him, “He’ll want to see me.” It was the kind of voice that brooked no argument, the kind of voice that was laced with power and command. It sounded remarkably like Hux’s own. 

“And who are you exactly?” he demanded, whirling back and inserting into those words all the chilly furor he could muster. 

A shadow, confused and surprised passed in front of her face and then was gone. “I’m Septima Summer. We’re old friends, he--” She cut herself off because Hux had sucked in a breath of air in an audible hiss. He recognized that voice.

He said, “Septem.” 

Her face changed, grew cold and smooth, and she said, “You are not permitted to use that name.” Her words were so sure, spoken with such certainty, for a moment, Hux almost nodded. When he only glared fiercely at her, a slow smile crept over her thin lips. “You’re him, aren’t you?” 

“I’ve no idea who you’re talking about.” 

“The man from his memories. I’ve seen you together.” Hux felt his lips go thin and his eyes widen  and Septem said hastily, all the chill leaving her voice, “Oh. God, no, not like that, not-- Look, I don’t know your name.” 

“Hux.” 

“Hux.” She smirked at him and her eyes tracked pointedly from the top of Hux’s head to the tips of his toes. She said, “Well, he certainly has a  _ type,  _ doesn’t he?” 

Fury flared in Hux’s gut, thick and cold and he suddenly heard Ren’s voice in his head, when he’d spoken of Septem before. How  _ fond  _ he’d sounded.

“Why are you here?” Hux demanded, voice rising without his permission. “He won’t see anyone, he’s locked himself in his room.” 

Septem rolled her brilliant eyes. “ _ That’s  _ why I’m here.” 

“What?” 

Septem’s face changed then, just for a moment flushed with grief. “I. A mutual. Acquaintance of ours. Passed away suddenly. He’s--”

But Hux had hissed, “Tribus.” And cursed. Of course. Of course that had been it. How stupid he’d been to think it could have been anything else.

He waved his wand and the gates swung open. 

“You certainly know a lot of information you’re not supposed to know,” Septem snapped. But she hurried back to the castle at Hux’s side, against the last straggling  students and teachers still meandering down to the quidditch pitch. 

“I know quite a lot of information,” Hux agreed pompously.

“He hasn’t left his room?” 

“No. Not in two weeks. What happened?” Septem raised one thin brow at him and Hux rolled his eyes. “You knights and your bloody  _ secrets.”  _

Hux knocked hard on the door when they reached it. “Ren! Ren, open up--”

“Master.”  

Septem’s voice was soft, enticing, like a beam of moonlight through the velvet dark. Hux turned to her without meaning too, suddenly struck by how  _ beautiful  _ she was, how elegant, even with her ridiculous ring in her lip. He almost leaned into her, almost forgot why he was here, what was happening, who she was, who  _ he  _ was--

The door opened. 

Ren’s hair was lank and oily, hanging in his face. His eyes were red rimmed and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. He’d pulled a robe over his shoulders, but it hung half open, revealing an angry red scab across his chest. 

“Sep?” he said dumbly, eyes locked so strongly on her, he didn’t even see Hux. Septem smiled a slow, cat-like smile, and said, “Kylo.” 

A hot swell of green rage crested in Hux’s chest and the next sound that broke the calm of the empty hallway was the sharp report of flesh striking flesh. Hux whirled before his hand could start stinging, before Ren’s eyes could clear and he could straighten from the vicious slap. Septem gasped in obvious fury and Hux saw her whip her wand out from the corner of his eyes. It stopped him in his tracks, even though he was horrified to find his eyes prickling. He still couldn’t resist muttering furiously, “Try it.” 

Her eyes narrowed, but before she could speak, Ren snapped, “Septima.” 

Her lips curled. But she lowered her wand.

Hux looked back to Ren, satisfied that she was no threat, and tried to speak. He hadn’t meant to lose his temper like that, hadn’t expected Ren opening the door for this woman when Hux had been begging him to come out for two weeks to effect him as strongly as it did. Hadn’t realized how angry he was until he saw Ren standing there looking like an utterly pathetic shell of a man. 

They regarded each other, Septem’s presence like a weight around his neck-- unignorable. Hux could see everything unsaid piling up in front of them, all his fear and rage, all Ren’s grief. 

Hux spat, “Coward.” He told himself to go. He told himself to whirl around and stalk away, but though he could barely admit it to himself, he was loath to leave Ren and Septem alone together. 

Ren didn’t look surprised. He only blinked as if Hux had confirmed what he already knew. Hux could practically taste the self-loathing. 

“He.” Ren swallowed and tried again. “He--”

“I know,” Hux cut him off, voice pitched low in the hallway. “He killed your friend. You let him die.” 

Ren flinched like Hux had struck him again and Septem spat, “How dare--”

Hux ignored her. “If all you can do is hide in your room, you’re not the man I thought you were,” Hux said furiously. “I thought you were dangerous.” He laughed suddenly, the sound cold and a little hysterical. “You thought I’d be afraid of you. Of this?” He looked over to Septem then, and the words were out before he could stop them. “You can  _ have  _ him.” 

He finally whirled away so he didn’t have to see the understanding on Septem’s face and the shock on Ren’s. “We’re not--” she said sharply. 

But Ren cut her off, and his voice was soft and low when he said, “It’s alright. Let him go.”

Hux didn’t go back to the Quidditch pitch. He locked himself in his office, a pile of scrolls in front of him, and graded essays, his quill leaving furious red streaks in it’s wake. 

 

Hux had fallen asleep at his desk. He awoke slowly, to a light tapping at his door. When he blearily opened it, a paper bird flapped furiously around his head until he snatched it out of the air. He almost crumpled it in his fist. 

Instead, he unfolded it. 

_ I’ll be outside the Room. Please come. _

That was all. He hadn’t even signed it. Hux rolled his eyes. He should ignore it. He should go to bed. 

But then, this would all be better if they could put it to words. No ambiguity. 

Hux had never expected it to last long. He’d always known, in the back of his mind, that they weren’t meant to last-- they hadn’t when they were young, so why would they now? He still hadn’t expected it to hurt this much, this  _ confirmation _ that he was nothing more than a distraction, a way for Ren to take his mind off all his troubles. 

He fisted the note in his hand and stomped up the stairs. 

Ren had showered. He lounged outside the room casually, as if he wasn’t about to wrap a fist around Hux’s heart and twist. 

Hux squeezed his eyes shut, just once. He was being dramatic. He was exhausted, he was concerned, and he was exaggerating everything.

Ren straightened when he heard Hux coming. His hair fell in soft waves around his face, freshly washed and shining in the torchlight. He still looked drawn and gray, like he’d been living in the dark for too long. Hux crossed his arms over his chest and said, “What, no  _ Septem.”  _

“She got a room at the Hogshead,” Ren muttered. He didn’t say anything else, just stared at Hux with so much regret in his eyes and Hux couldn’t stand it. The waiting. The anticipation. 

“Just say it,” he snapped, furious when his voice wasn’t nearly as aloof as he had intended. 

Ren cursed and swept forward; Hux actually flinched, but then Ren was wrapping him up, cocooning him in his thick arms and pressing Hux’s face to his chest and Hux’s whole body pulsed with fury and relief all at once, with a  _ how dare he  _ and a  _ finally.  _

“I’m sorry,” Ren muttered, lips pressed to Hux’s temple. “It’s bigger than us, Hux, I had to-- but I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I should have talked to you.” 

“Yes, you should have.” Hux managed to give a thin reply but the emotions competing for dominance in his chest were so strong he was afraid to say more, afraid they’d force their way from his lips. He didn’t return the embrace. There wouldn’t be any point. 

Ren just held him then, and Hux couldn’t bring himself to shove him away. It was pointless and masochistic, but every time he tried, he thought of never feeling this again and couldn’t help but hold on for just a few moments longer. “You left that night because.” 

“I felt it when it happened,” Ren admitted. “I almost saw it.”

“I thought. I was afraid.” 

“Hmm?” 

“After everything you told me,” Hux whispered into his soft robes. “I thought.”

Ren pulled away sharply and Hux looked up at him without considering the consequences. It was a bad idea. Hux squeezed his eyes shut. “You thought it was something you did?” Ren hissed. “God, Hux, no-- I was-- I was casting  _ spells,  _ I was-- it had nothing to do with us.”

“What was I supposed to think?” Hux spat, finally pushing away. “What is anybody supposed to think when a man comes and then sprints out the door?” He tried to make the words sound wry and annoyed, but they only came out pained. “Two weeks,” he muttered. Then he glowered at Ren, felt the words rising and couldn’t stop them. “But you opened the door for  _ her.”  _

Ren sighed in sudden sharp annoyance, but it wasn’t aimed at Hux. “I didn’t have a choice.”  

“What do you  _ mean _ \--” Hux demanded. 

Ren shook his head. “Sep has special… talents, Hux. It’s very hard to. Um. Ignore her, when she wants you to do something.” 

Hux blinked and thought back to meeting her at the gate, the way her voice had gone rich and silky smooth, and the surprise on her face when Hux had demanded to know who she was instead of letting her in.

Hux frowned. “I noticed that.” 

Ren face suddenly split intp a lopsided grin and Hux felt like he was stepping into sunlight. He looked younger, happier, for an instant, than Hux had ever seen him, and almost mischievous. 

He looked like Ben and it took Hux’s breath away. 

“She hates you, you know.” Hux only scowled, but before he could respond, Ren went on. “Did you know you were resisting her?”

Hux blinked. “What?”

“I-- this is sort of. Alright. Snoke. The original seven Knights-- including him-- all had special talents with mind magic. Some of us were stronger in some areas than others. Sep’s skills are in persuasion. She’s not used to having people tell her ‘no.’ But she said you refused to let her into the castle at first.” Hux nodded. “She was so annoyed,” he snickered like a naughty teenager. “It was great.” 

Hux tried to be amused, but the satisfaction he felt was petty and vicious. It was colored with jealousy and now that they were talking about her, Hux couldn’t stop the words from spilling from his lips, all the furious thoughts that had been swirling in his head since he’d realized who she was. “Do you only fuck green eyed red heads or did I just remind you of her?” 

He wished he could take the words back the moment he spoke them. They revealed more than he intended, and he hated the way he sounded, all whining indignance. 

Ren smiled and reached out to push the hair off Hux’s forehead. The motion was so easy and intimate, Hux had the furious urge to slap his hand away. 

“You don’t look like her,” Ren said softly. “She looks like you.” 

Hux had to drop his head to keep from smiling. He wasn’t ready to forgive yet, wasn’t ready to release the fear that had been building in his chest. Wasn’t ready to grab onto the hope. 

But of all the things Ren could have said to him, that had been the right thing. 

“Don’t be absurd. You barely remembered I existed until the start of the year.”

“I guess, some things you just don’t forget.”

When he looked back up, Ren was still smiling at him. 

“What have you been doing?” Hux asked finally. 

“Spells. Some of the more. Um. Difficult ones, the ones I’d been avoiding.”

“What kind of--”

“Shield spells. For the rest of them. I have to see each of them in person to complete the rituals. They’ll be arriving at Hogsmeade over the course of the week and then.” He stopped himself. “Then we have to find someone new.” 

“Someone new?” 

“There’s always seven, Hux. Always.” 

Hux frowned. Seven was, of course, the most magical number. There were many old spells and rituals for which the Knights might need seven members. “Who?”

“I don’t know,” Ren said tiredly. “Sex and Sep are compiling a shortlist from the greater organization, but no one jumps out at me. We have to make it soon though; we’re weaker now than we’ve been in a long time. And Snoke knows it.”  

Hux nodded, then he looked around. The castle wasn’t as quiet as it usually was. Even this late, and this far removed from the dorms, Hux could still hear the tell tale sounds of movement. House elves and ghosts and professors and the stray student. Gryffindor had won the Quidditch cup. Exams were over. There was celebration to be had. 

“Why did you ask me here?” he said finally. 

Ren grinned and the expression was a little sad and a little shy. He said, “I’ve missed you.” 

Hux stared at Ren, chewed on his bottom lip, and Ren took a step forward. They were already standing quite close to one another, but Ren’s movement was enough to empty Hux’s mind, to have him tilting forward for the gentle kiss Ren laid against his lips. 

“Forgive me?”

“If you ever shut me out like that again,” Hux snapped, grasping Ren by the chin to make himself feel more in control, make himself feel as if he wasn’t so hopelessly infatuated with Ren as to undermine his pride.

Before he could finish his threat, Ren said, “I won’t.”

Hux stared at him, peered furiously into his eyes until he was sure Ren was at his most earnest. 

“I wasn’t trying to,” Ren said, cheeks coloring. “Insinuate-- I just wanted to spend some time with you. I might be busy over the next few weeks. We might not get to see one another.” 

Hux nodded and kept chewing his lip. That Ren had invited him  _ here  _ of all places instead of seeking him out,  _ had  _ rankled, just a bit. That he expected Hux to bend over just like that-- but now that he was here, now that Ren was speaking to him so gently… And on top of it all, telling him they might not get this chance again--

Hux threw his arms around Kylo’s neck and kissed him deeply. Kylo hadn’t been expecting it. He stumbled a bit, gasped against Hux’s lips, and wrapped his arms around Hux’s waist before gracelessly pinning him to the place where the door would appear. 

“So you’re not mad?” Kylo whispered into his ear a little hysterically. 

He nipped Hux’s earlobe and Hux purred back, “Utterly furious. You will have to make it up to me.” 

There was a sharp, high pitched sound from the end of the hall, and Hux shoved Ren away from him so hard, Ren actually grunted. 

When they turned their heads, Hux squeezed his eyes shut, hoping when he opened them the hall would be empty. 

It was not.

Hux said tightly, “Oh, dear god.” 

Rey and the Head Girl and Boy-- Melody the Gryffindor and William the Ravenclaw,-- were staring back at them. 

Ren put his hands in his pockets and said, “Fuck.”

“Glad to see you’re feeling better, Professor Ren,” Rey said brightly. Melody dipped her head to her hand, sniggering, and Hux leaned back against the wall, wondering how upset Leia would be if she found out he’d oblivated two students for catching him kissing her son in a little used hallway. 

“Much,” Ren said brightly. “How’ve you been, Rey?” 

Rey grinned. “Better now.” 

Hux heard another high pitched groan of disbelief and realized it was him.

“Go patrol a different hall,” Ren said, glancing once at Hux with a smile tugging at his lips. “We’ve got this area locked down.” 

“Do you though?” That was Melody. William elbowed her in the ribs, but Hux was already yanking out his wand. 

“Oh, get out of my way,” he hissed at Ren, spreading his hands and brandishing his wand. Rey stepped in front of the two children and Hux glared at her. “Move.” 

“Hux,” Ren said reasonably. “What are you doing.” 

“My memory charms are a helluva lot better than they used to be,” he snapped. “Rey, move.” 

“You can’t  _ obliviate students!”  _ Rey said, utterly scandalized. 

“The hell I can’t.”  

“Are you really that ashamed of me?” Ren asked wryly. 

“Yes!” 

Melody scoffed loudly and said, “Why?”

Rey and William both turned on her and snapped, “Shut up!” 

“Sorry!” she half whined. “I just mean. I mean look at him.” 

“Why do you think you’re helping?” William’s voice was higher than Hux had ever heard it and it amused Hux in a vicious sort of way. The boy was brilliant of course, and a terrific student, but he’d still always been a bit afraid of Hux. That was just how Hux liked it. “Professor,” he said to Rey. “Please make her stop helping.” 

Ren put his hand on Hux’s wand and said very softly, “Babe.” 

Melody put her hand on her chest and made a sound like she had just watched a kitten do something particularly adorable. Hux growled, “Forget the memory charm. I’m going to  _ kill her.”  _

“I’m sorry!” she exclaimed, pointing. “It’s just. I mean this explains so much.”

Ren said loudly, “Oh, do tell,” at the same time Hux spat, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve just been a lot more. Laid back. This semester, is all. I mean. Last month you didn’t even dock house points when Glenda Martins dropped that dung bomb in the hallway in front of your classroom! And it reeked for days after!”

Ren and Rey both covered their mouths with their hands to hide their laughter. Hux could feel his cheeks flaming. The last thing he needed was  _ students  _ having any knowledge of his love life. 

“Get. Out. Of this hallway. Now,” Hux fumed. Even Rey looked a little intimidated. Melody’s lips snapped shut. “And if you utter a single, solitary word of this to any of your little  _ friends…”  _ Hux trailed off and cracked his neck, feeling viciously satisfied when Melody and William both jumped. “Well. In one week’s time you won’t be students any more, will you?”

Melody stared at him blankly, but William’s eye’s were so wide he looked like a frightened rabbit. Of course, the Ravenclaw was a bit quicker on the uptake. 

“What--” Melody began softly. 

“The Headmistress generally frowns on professors hexing and cursing students. But. You won’t be students anymore. Will you?” 

Even Ren was staring at him with wide eyes. Hux took a few steps forward and added, “And did you say I’d been more… what was it? Laidback than usual?” Hux stared Melody in the eyes and loosed one bloodless chuckle. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind. For the rest of the week.” 

At that, William shot Melody a furious glance. Hux said, “Get out of my sight.” 

The two students didn’t need to be told twice. They both scurried away and darted around the corner more quickly than Hux would have thought possible. William smacked Melody on the arm after they’d passed him. 

Rey raised her brows. “That was terrifying.” 

Hux regarded her coolly. “If you think I can’t make your life a living hell too--”

“Oh, I know you can,” she said brightly. “But you’re not going to.” 

“And why is that?” Hux demanded waspishly. 

Rey grinned and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Cause if you try it, I’m gonna tell--” she paused, lifted her hand, and pointed at Ren before drawling, “ _ his mother  _ what you’ve been doing with her son when you were  _ supposed  _ to be chaperoning trips to Hogsmeade. I knew you two weren’t sick,” she added. “Rose said you didn’t even come to the hospital wing.”

Hux felt the color drain out of his face. 

Ren leaned against the wall and said very casually, “You’re ruining the mood, Rey.” 

“Whatever will you do,” she taunted. She patted Hux twice on the arm as she passed, taking the path Melody and William had used. 

Hux swallowed. 

Ren grinned at him. 

“This is all your fault,” Hux muttered furiously. 

“How?”

“We’re in a corridor!” Hux snapped. “And you were--”

“Takes two to tango, babe.” 

Hux glowered at him. “Don’t call me that,” he snapped, mostly to be petty. When Ren only grinned at him, Hux let his mind wander, started fantasizing about all the ways he could make Ren  _ pay  _ for his little amusements. 

“Let’s go,” Ren broke into his thoughts, jerking his head toward the blank wall. 

Hux rolled his eyes and allowed himself to be led up and down the corridor three times, thinking almost absently,  _ A place to be alone. A place to be together. A place for us. _

He felt his heart rate pick up when Ren grinned at him and pushed the door open. Two weeks felt like much longer than it should have. 

Ren turned to face the room, hand still on the knob, and went white. The reaction was enough to make Hux’s stomach turn over, afraid of what he would find when he turned his head.

When he finally did, a horrible chill of terror darted over his skin and his mind emptied.

The Room was. Different.

It was bigger, for one, nearly double the size it had been before. The lavender hangings on the walls had turned a rich royal purple interspersed with gold. The bed was arrayed similarly, and in addition to the new bedclothes, golden ropes with thick cuffs at the end dangled from all four corners like an invitation. Hux thought hysterically of the leather strap he’d found under the bed the last time he’d been here (and a riding crop the time before that, and a ring gag and blindfold before that) and felt his heart stop before it ratcheted into a frantic pounding. 

There was a corner of the room fully ringed in mirrors with some ungodly piece of padded leather furniture that Hux didn’t want to think too closely about. There were hooks in the ceiling with golden straps suspended from them. There was a full wall of books and closed boxes that Hux was terrified to even consider. There was the largest collection of paddles, straps, crops, and whips Hux had ever laid eyes on hanging from the wall beside the bed, each on its own hook, waiting to be selected. There was a chest that Hux, without looking, was certain contained… clothing. Or what could pass for clothing in such a space.

And by the door, just to the left, was an inviting round table spread over with quills and parchment. 

Hux and Ren both stood in complete silence, surveying the scene. He chanced a glance and found Ren white-faced and mouth agape, hand holding the door too tightly. 

What had he done?

“Ren,” Hux said, voice strained. 

Before he could get the rest out, Ren breathed in a frantic liquid tumble, “Fuck, Hux, I’m  _ so sorry-- _ I didn’t think, I mean, I didn’t know. The Room--”

Hux gaped at him and blurted before he could stop himself, “You think  _ you  _ did this?” 

Ren cut himself off and stared at Hux with his mouth open and one brow absently cocked. Then he said softly, “Didn’t I?” 

Hux shut his mouth with an audible click.  _ Ren thought he had done this?  _ It had to have been Hux, didn’t it? Hadn’t he just been thinking-- “You did.” The words were almost more question than statement. 

Ren turned his head and peered into the Room again. “Um.” 

“Shut the door and we can try again,” Hux said fervently; he couldn’t even stand to stare into it. It was too appetizing. 

Ren didn’t need to be told twice. He slammed the door and stared at Hux. His pupils were blown wide in the dimly lit corridor and he was biting his bottom lip, brows furrowed and skin too pale. 

“I. Uh.” 

“Let’s just try again,” Hux said too quickly. He didn’t want to talk about it; he didn’t want to consider it. He wanted a nice, luxurious, thoughtless lay free of the anxieties that had been plaguing him for two weeks. 

Ren nodded, put on a brave face, and said, “Right.” 

They diligently traipsed back up and down the hall, and then it was Hux’s turn to curl his fingers around the knob, heart hammering in his throat. 

When he threw the door open, the round table had moved closer to the entrance; nothing else had changed. 

Ren peered over his head and Hux heard him swallow,  _ hard.  _

Very hesitantly, Hux took a step inside. When Ren only lingered, Hux snapped, “Get in here. Before someone  _ sees.”  _ Ren promptly stepped inside and hovered like a nervous student , fingers twisting around each other, and eyes wide in what Hux recognized instantly as anxious terror coupled with arousal. 

Hux faced him and felt something twitch in the back of his mind. Hux had let Ren take the lead in their past encounters. He’d let Ren hold him down, pin him to the bed, had even struggled against him because he seemed to enjoy it. But Ren’s eyes, when Hux had felt him spiraling, had wanted desperately to pull him back from pain with pleasure, had gone liquid and wide. His shoulders had melted against the floor and he’d asked Hux  _ so nicely-- _

“You didn’t do this,” Hux told him, voice coming out husky though he tried to speak plainly. “We did.” Ren’s hands fell to his sides and his brow furrowed. Before he could speak, Hux said, “It’s been happening for weeks. I found a. A strap--” he motioned vaguely to the wall where they were hung, plowing through the words like he might forget them if he stopped talking. “Last time, and other things besides-- why are you laughing?”

Ren’s hand darted to his lips to stifle the sound, but Hux didn’t want him to. It was glorious, a beam of sunlight when Ren had been all shadows. “I thought that was my fault. I kept trying to get in here before you so I could hide--things.” 

Hux stared at Ren in silence for a long time then, mind churning and heart racing. They’d never really  _ talked  _ about sex. All the things Hux knew Ren liked, he’d learned from trial and error. And in spite of Hux’s frequent daydreams depicting the contrary, he hadn’t intended to request or discuss these particular desires any time soon. Hell, he’d thought Ren was about to break things off-- had thought he might have to himself, if Ren kept ignoring him. This was, he decided, a very strange place to be, given he’d walked the stairs to the seventh floor corridor expecting to return to his room within the hour with fisfuls of very frustrating  _ feelings  _ to account for.  __

When Hux didn’t say anything, Ren leaned forward and peered down at the table. Then his eyes got big. 

“What is it?” 

A nervous smile tugged at the corners of Ren’s lips and he picked up a piece of parchment. “The Room knows us,” he said quietly, holding it out for Hux to take. 

Hux accepted the parchment and read it greedily. 

It was a list. A list of everything Hux could possibly imagine doing in this room, along with several things he didn’t care to imagine, and a few more he’d never even heard of. The parchment had neat little boxes they could check, spaces for names, for conditions, and Hux realized in a surge of bone melting relief that, at least for now, they didn’t have to  _ talk  _ about anything. 

He could just write it all down and let Ren read. 

“Suppose,” Ren said while wetting his lips. “Suppose we just--”

“Fill these out?” 

“Yes.” 

Hux peered down at the paper again and blurted before he could stop himself, “Suppose we’re not compatible?” 

Ren looked at him then, and released a hot little huff of air. Hux straightened up almost indignantly, but then Ren was reaching across the table, tugging Hux forward by the front of his robes and the see-saw of emotion was suddenly too much for Hux. Was he anxious? Was he horny? Who the fuck knew. 

He started to push Ren away, anger (the one emotion he was fully comfortable with) surging to the forefront, but then Ren put his cheek against Hux’s and his breath brushed the space in front of Hux’s ear when he said, “What world are you living in in which that could possibly be a reality?” 

All the anger left him in a rush, and Ren wrapped his arms around Hux’s waist, tucked his chin against Hux’s shoulder, and Hux felt himself go stiff because they’d kissed and hugged and fucked for days but this was  _ different.  _

Ren was comforting him. 

And what was worse: it was working. 

Hux curled his arms around Ren’s shoulders, smelled him there, all solid and familiar and said as honestly as he could, “Kylo. We’ve been having sex for almost six months. I have a fairly good idea of what you like.” 

Ren turned his face into Hux’s neck and purred, “Tell me,” and Hux shuddered against his will. Ren’s voice was pitched low and he was sagging boneless against Hux’s chest. Hux could feel it like his own heartbeat, now that Ren had broken the distance between them, how badly Ren wanted to be touched. 

Hux sighed as dramatically as he could muster and said very clearly, “You like to hold me down.” 

Ren jerked away then, brows to his hairline, and said, “I thought  _ you  _ liked that?” 

Hux shrugged one shoulder and said, “I liked that you liked it.”

“I’ve been in your head,” Ren argued, tilting his forehead to Hux’s. “I know you liked it.” 

Hux shrugged again, content in their closeness and not terribly inclined to argue about the difference between slightly rough vanilla sex and all the possibilities this room had just opened for them. 

But then, he realized, the same could be true for Ren. 

“Let’s. Fill them out,” he said, forcing some confidence into his voice. “And see.” 

Ren kissed him on the cheek, the first time he’d done such a thing when they weren’t sex drunk trying to catch their breath, and then sank into a chair. He lifted his eyes and watched as Hux, carefully, as if the chair might break, followed. 

They each took a quill. They stared at each other across the table, and it was Ren who finally snorted under his breath and said, “Fine,” lowered his eyes first. Hux followed suit. 

He worked slowly at first, filling in his name, reading each line of text three times before he made any mark upon the page. 

Ren actually finished before him and then watched him expectantly. Hux stared at the bottom of the page, at the last line of text, and found himself unwilling to make another mark. Because then they’d have to exchange parchment. Then Ren would see everything. 

“Hux.” 

Hux lifted his eyes with a guilty start. 

“Do you trust me?” 

The answer was easy and simple. Hux didn’t even have to consider it. But that was almost worse. Hux didn’t trust anybody except maybe Phasma. And then… there was everything that had happened between them when they were young. Someone capable of doing what Ren had done-- even as a child-- did he really deserve Hux’s trust? 

“Yes.” 

Ren held out his parchment. Hux made his final mark and handed his over. Only the hurried way Ren’s eyes dropped to the parchment told him he wasn’t alone in his anxieties. But then he was staring at Ren’s page and his heart was pounding so hard he could feel his pulse in his ears and his fingertips, eyes tracking so quickly over the paper he missed words and had to go back to catch the meaning of things. 

He didn’t tear his eyes from the page until Ren breathed “Fuck,” on an explosion of air like he couldn’t hold it in anymore and when Hux lifted his eyes, Ren was watching him with his cheeks flushed and his lips too pink and his eyes too, too wide. 

It was like Ren had been made just for him. Like he was watching all the little pieces of their puzzle suddenly click into place and he was irrevocably certain that he’d never laid eyes on a more perfect man in his entire life. 

The parchment was secondary. It didn’t matter that they’d checked all the same boxes; he felt instantly foolish for thinking a handful of ticks on a list could ever render them incompatible, could ever rend the cracks they’d spent the past six months patching over. 

It was the word that did it, the rush of air he couldn’t control. Hux had heard that from him before. That word spoken in exactly that way. Ren was the only man Hux had ever been able to render completely speechless and it happened every time they came together. 

What a fool he had been. 

Hux realized he was staring at Ren, focused like a cat on a bird. He wet his lips and said, “What do you think is in all those boxes?” 

Ren’s voice, when it came, was just a little husky, landed just to the right of the true topic at hand. He said, “Toys I expect.” 

Hux peered down at Ren’s parchment without really seeing it. He knew what it said already. He’d practically memorized every line in the short seconds he’d looked.

Ren’s fingertips, splayed across the table top where he had been holding the parchment, gave a little wiggle, a nervous tap on the rich pitted wood. Hux’s chest felt too full and jittery, a heady joy twisting itself around his heart. Ren’s fingers tapped again. And again. 

Hux wet his lips. The parchment was crinkling at the edges where he was holding it too tightly. “Pick something out.” 

The words dropped onto the table between them where Ren could examine them more closely, and he did. When Hux finally lifted his eyes from the parchment, he found Ren staring at him. There was amusement on his face, a certain sharpness at the corners of his eyes that seemed to belay a challenge. His voice was smooth and sure when he said, “Alright.” 

He pushed himself back from the table and Hux watched him saunter across the room, shoulders thrown back, head held high and Hux did see the challenge then, fully realized instead of just suspected. He rose from the table and couldn’t resist draping himself around Ren’s shoulders as Ren stared at the wall. 

Ren’s lips curved in an amused, playful smirk, and he said, “What am I looking for?” 

Hux bit him, a sharp, strong nip at the place where his jaw curved to his ear. Ren hissed, body tensing beneath Hux’s arms, and Hux said, “I’m not sure. I suggest you choose carefully though.” He spoke the words into Ren’s ear, low and hot against his skin and felt the other man shudder. 

“Whatever I want?” Ren whispered back, turning his cheek just enough that he nuzzled into Hux’s space. 

Hux untangled himself and said, “Whatever you want.” 

He let Ren browse the collection of items on the shelf and he moved to the bookcase, mind racing with possibility. He’d never seen so many books on sex in one place. He had an idea of what he was looking for, and his eyes swept back and forth across each shelf as he searched for it. 

When he spotted the spell book, he smiled, plucked it off the shelf, and let it fall open. 

Ren was still examining the shelf, pulling out boxes and sliding them back into place, reading labels and instructions. Hux sank into the purple velvet armchair by the shelf and perused his book, stayed there until Ren finally made his decision. 

He carried a small, slim box with both hands held out in front of him like an offering. Hux laid his book open on the table and stood up, lifted his eyes to Ren’s face. 

Ren actually seemed to shrink when Hux met his eyes. His cheeks flushed, his shoulders slumped, and his head dipped ever so slightly. It happened very quickly, and Hux saw him try to shake it away, straighten back up like he hadn’t just sagged under the full weight of Hux’s gaze like it was a physical thing. 

“What did you bring me?”

“Uh,” Ren began. When Hux only stared at him and made no move to take the box, he lifted the top off, wrapped his hand around what he found inside, and dropped the rest on the floor. “It’s. You wave your wand and it vibrates,” he explained, color burning in his cheeks. 

Hux silently reached out to accept the black object in Hux’s hand. At first he thought it was rubber, but it was too light, too smooth and soft. He dragged his fingertips over it, testing the material. It was thicker at one end, and rounded, with a flared base. When Hux twitched his wand, it hummed to life in his hand. 

Ren wet his lips. He stared at the toy like it was water and he was dying of thirst and Hux couldn’t believe all the little ways he was watching Ren fall apart, how the tiniest nudge had him crumbling. 

But then, he supposed, he was just the same. He’d spent so many hours daydreaming about how he might bring Ren under his thumb; it was intoxicating to know Ren had spent his time with fantasies of his own. Was Hux living up to them? 

Without pausing to think, he reached out to brushed Ren’s hair off his forehead, carded his hand through the unruly curls and heard, as clearly as if it had been whispered in his ear,  _ Yes.  _

His hand stilled, startled by the desperate neediness in that voice, and he was already fisting his hand in Ren’s hair, stepping into his space and crowding him back against the bed before he realized no one had spoken out loud. 

The toy buzzed in one hand and he used the second to drag Ren down for a kiss, a fierce, greedy demand that Ren met with perfect eagerness. Hux bit his jaw again, spoke right against his skin when he said, “Take off your robes.” 

Ren’s fingers came to his chest instantly, and Hux watched his robes spread and part, drip down his shoulders to puddle on the floor at their feet. This was his. This creamy white skin, this broad swath of muscles, this constellation of freckles and beauty marks. Even the long, thick scabs stretched across his chest that Hux was too overwhelmed to think about too closely. He didn’t feel like himself when he dipped his head to take one of Ren’s pert, puckered nipples into his mouth, didn’t feel like himself when he bit down and felt Ren shudder, heard the deep moan he let out so close it was almost like Hux had made the sound himself. 

Or perhaps he felt more like himself than he had in months, years, ever, and the thought surged in his head so fiercely, it was almost angry in its vehemence.  _ Mine. All mine.  _

_ Yes.  _ He heard it again, the sweet, desperate whine, and all the little pieces of himself that kept him sane during sex, that reminded him not to moan too loudly, that censored the stream of thoughts sprinting through his head, that had one eye on the door in case someone unexpected barged in, trickled away in a liquid rush that left no room for anything else. Just,  _ Mine. Mine. Mine.  _

Kylo was his. It wasn’t a feeling or a guess; it was a certainty. Kylo was his and Hux wanted to make him  _ feel  _ it. “And your pants.” 

“No. You first,” Kylo replied, suddenly eager. “Your ro--” Hux slapped him. 

The sound cracked through the room, loud and violent and  _ mine _ and it rang in the air until Kylo took a huge breath like Hux had been choking him. When he turned his black eyes on Hux they were round with surprise, going glassy at the edges. “Take off your pants.” 

He breathed out slowly enough that Hux could count all the times his breath hitched, could feel it in his own chest like vibrato. Kylo watched Hux like Hux was a snake as he slowly unbuttoned his pants, dropped them to the floor with his robes. 

Kylo was the definition of naked power, Hux decided. His robes hid him away in billowy waves. Without them he was trim and lithe, solid muscle carved from stone. He straightened his back as he watched Hux, somehow even more imposing without his clothes, and Hux had to bite his lips to keep from smiling. He was going to bring Kylo to his knees. 

He stared at Kylo until Kylo’s fingers started to tap nervously at his hips, until the flush in his cheeks started crawling down his chest. Hux set the still vibrating toy Kylo had selected down on the bed beside him, and then turned away, walked back to the toy shelf. Kylo leaned back against the bed and watched him; Hux could feel his eyes like a physical pressure that sent warm shivers down his back. 

He turned back to Kylo spinning a thick metal ring on his finger and Kylo’s lips quirked. His cheek was red and Hux could see the livid white imprint of his fingers rimmed in pink.

Hux ran his fingertips over the welts in a gentle caress and got to watch Kylo’s eyes roll back. He turned into Hux’s hand, cat like, and Hux couldn't resist sliding his fingers into Kylo’s thick, soft hair, pulling him down for another kiss. He rewarded Hux with a contented hum when Hux slid the ring into place at the base of Kylo’s filling cock. It was far too big; a tap with his wand had it shrinking to a perfect fit. He lingered there until Kylo was leaning into him, warming his lips with soft little pants between kisses. 

“Kneel in front of my chair,” Hux murmured against Kylo’s skin again. The other man shivered and Hux took special note this time, of how much he liked words pressed to his cheeks. 

Swaying a little more than he had been, but still wearing an amused, feline sort of smirk, Kylo stepped over to the chair, easy and elegant with every flowing motion, and sank onto his knees facing toward the bed where Hux was still standing. Hux had intended to shed his robes, but his fingers stalled on the buttons, eyes tracking over Kylo’s forearms, over his fingers and thighs, his lovely cock straining between them. When he dragged his eyes higher, he found the smirk had widened and with another savage burst of joyful anticipation, he decided to wipe it off Kylo’s ridiculous lips. 

He dropped his robes in an impatient, utilitarian sort of motion, and stepped to the wall where the strap he’d found two weeks ago was suspended, along with a whole family of similarly used instruments. He was halfway to plucking it off the wall when he turned and looked at Kylo over his shoulder. His hand hovered; he stared pointedly. Kylo shook his head. So Hux moved to the next item: a small leather paddle with six holes down the middle. Another little shake of the head and Hux moved on, and on, until Kylo stopped him with the tiniest nod, just a touch too sharp to be casual. Hux smiled to himself and pulled the crop from the wall. 

He tested it in his hand and wondered absently if the chest in the corner had a pair of leather gloves; a leather crop, he mused, was most efficiently wielded in a leather clad hand. But Kylo was staring at him expectantly and so he crossed back to his chair. Kylo’s eyes tracked over Hux’s body the way Hux’s had tracked over his and for once, Hux didn’t feel an ounce of anxiety, didn’t wonder if his chest was too thin or his skin was too white or his freckles too stark. Kylo was staring at him in unabashed adoration and Hux basked in it. It was his. He deserved it. 

He stepped around Kylo to get to his chair and deliberately planted one shiny heel between Kylo’s open thighs before he spun and sank into his seat. The sight of his own shiny leather shoe nestled between milky skin made his chest squirm and he couldn’t resist the lightest of nudges, the toe of his shoe pressed to Kylo’s unguarded erection. 

He looked Kylo in the eye, watched his pupils swell until they seemed to swallow him up. After that, he couldn't resist dragging the end of the crop over Kylo’s cheek, down his chest, to tease along the head of that glorious cock, full and livid red from the silver ring. 

Kylo’s belly tightened and his fingers curled in a silent full bodied shudder that made Hux smile. The longer he stayed here, the more responsive Kylo became. If he was a more patient man, he could linger, tease out shivers and moans with the tip of his crop and a few well placed words. 

There would be time enough for all of that. Now that he had Kylo back, he wasn't ever letting him go. 

“On your hands and knees. Face the mirror.”

“Yes, Professor.”

Kylo froze. Hux froze. 

It wasn't a title Hux had ever considered using here-- the idea of linking his profession, his dedication to children and imparting knowledge to something inherently sexual should have unnerved him. 

But it didn't. 

Kylo still hadn't moved. He was staring at a spot to the left of Hux’s face in obvious mortification and Hux pictured Kylo’s parchment. He’d made no mention of this.

Hux didn't think he'd been lying-- he just assumed Kylo hadn't known. 

He wouldn’t press it beyond this, this little title that seemed to make Kylo flush and squirm. At least not tonight.

When Kylo still didn't move, Hux laid the crop across his exposed inner thigh with a quick snap of his wrist that made the other man jump and then hiss at the unexpected line of pain blossoming across his skin. 

“Hands and knees,” Hux repeated, half hoping Kylo would fight him on it. His skin looked beautiful striped with red. 

Kylo did hesitate, just for a second, and Hux crossed his first line with a second, harder slap that made Kylo's eyelids flutter. 

He got on his hands and knees, faced the mirror across the room as Hux had commanded.

The site of him like that made Hux’s stomach tremble. He could trace the muscles in Kylo's broad back, follow all the lines of him down those gorgeous thighs and arms. He stared for longer than he'd intended before he realized nothing was stopping him from touching Kylo’s dewy skin, from connecting all the black moles and freckles dotting his shoulders and trickling down over his low back and ass. 

Kylo shuddered again when the crop touched him, gentle and light and teasing. He tried to arch into it and Hux pulled the leather away, swatted him lightly across his shoulders until he corrected his posture. He enjoyed watching Kylo jerk into position so much, he did it again, tapping his wrist and then his knee until he spread himself wider. 

When Hux came off the chair and put his knees on the floor, Kylo turned his head sharply to watch, eyes wide and with one lip sucked between his teeth. Hux pushed his head back down with one hand buried in his curls. “Look at the floor, or the mirror,” he said sternly. Kylo immediately lifted his eyes to the mirror across the room where the vague shape of Hux kneeling beside him was at its most frustratingly tantalizing. The mirror was huge, but still too far away to see anything with any clarity. 

Hux plucked his wand from the pocket of his black slacks and summoned the toy from the bed and a bottle of mildly tingling lubricant from a shelf. Kylo’s breathing, carefully controlled until now, suddenly became ragged. 

Hux didn't waste time or tease him with the toy-- it had been quietly buzzing on the bed the whole time they'd been here, an inevitability and a promise Hux had made at the start. 

It struck Hux then how quiet the room was-- how focused he'd been on the sound of the air in Kylo's lungs so that now as the buzzing toy slid into place, Kylo's throaty, half voiced panting almost sounded too loud. 

Hux didn't linger here. He returned to his chair, retrieved his book, and laid his heels across Kylo’s shoulders, an amused smirk twitching on his lips when Kylo looked around at him in something like anger. 

Hux slapped his ass with the crop and said, “Eyes straight ahead.” 

“You--”

Hux swatted him again, harder than he yet had, and said, “Foot stools don't talk.” Kylo's head tilted forward, hair falling to obscure his face, and Hux added very softly, “Unless they don't want to be foot stools anymore.” 

Kylo's shoulders stiffened. He looked at a spot on the floor and the only sounds Hux heard from him were quiet, restrained gasps that he could feel in his calves every time Kylo took a breath. 

He turned a page. 

Ultimately, it impressed him-- how long Kylo was able to stay like that before Hux could feel his whole body start to tremble, before his soft gasps turned into soft moans, before Hux started painting his ass and thighs with hard red lines. It made Hux’s belly twist and pull with fierce heat, the way Kylo would fall quiet after Hux struck him, only to crescendo to a louder moan a moment later that made Hux hit him again. 

When every sound he made was enough to earn him a slap, Hux finally set his book down and swung his feet back to the floor. Kylo couldn't keep his back straight anymore. He kept rolling his shoulders, dipping his head between his trembling arms. Hux's eyes were drawn down, to the mouth watering site of that overfull cock, straining towards his belly. Kylo gasped, “Please, Professor,” and Hux hit him again, almost bit his own lip when Kylo gasped and squirmed. 

It was his crop that did it. Hux couldn't resist trailing a teasing line over Kylo’s shoulders, down his chest, and watching him shiver at the contact and lean into Hux with a needy whimper. It was the most intoxicating sound and Hux wanted to draw it from him again and again, radiant with the knowledge that it was him Kylo craved. His hands and lips and cock. Even this. Even his crop. 

He dragged it along the exposed underside of Kylo's cock, something like giddy laughter bubbling in his chest. Kylo wasn't smirking at him anymore. 

The low, almost furious wine that unspooled from Kylo's throat hit Hux like a physical thing, made his eyes flutter closed in satisfaction. He pulled the crop away but it was too late; Kylo’s whole body sagged and he emptied himself on the floor at Hux’s feet, a ragged, frustrated gasp tearing from his lips like a sob. 

He got very quiet after that, trying with some success to swallow the little whines the creully unceasing toy was pulling from him. 

Hux waved his wand and heard the soft buzzing cease. Kylo sucked in a huge breath as Hux replaced his wand in his pocket. Hux let him sit there, gasping for air until his breath had mostly returned to him, though his arms were trembling more than ever. 

Then he said very quietly, and with his lips pressed to Kylo's hair, “Foot stools don't moan. They don't beg. And they certainly don't come all over the floor without permission.” 

“I'm sorry,” he whispered back, voice more ragged than Hux had ever heard it. 

“Get up.”

He shook when he stood, stumbled so that Hux had to catch him. A quiet, concerned voice in his head wondered exactly how long Hux had had him on his knees on the hard stone floor. Time didn’t seem to have any real meaning here. He laid his hand on Kylo's low back, experimentally slid lower, over his abused ass cheeks, and drew his hand away when Kylo hissed and then moaned and swayed towards him again. 

He changed tactics. 

“Sit. In my chair.” It wasn't far for him to walk; he fell into it with none of his usual grace. When he peered up at Hux, Hux could see everything-- how desperate he was to please, and too, how overwhelmed. He brushed the hair from Kylo's face and it was wet with sweat. 

“Would you like to continue, darling?” he asked as gently as he could muster. 

The answer was instant. “Yes.” 

“Are you certain?”

“Please, Professor.” 

It sent chills down Hux’s spine. Kylo begged so prettily and with such few words. Hux had no idea how he did it but for one delirious moment, he wasn't sure who was controlling who-- he'd do anything to make Kylo sound like that, anything at all. 

“Would you like to know what I learned from my book?” 

“Yes, please,” he said breathlessly. 

It was a very complex charm, considering its purpose. But Hux was a charms master, had perfected the art of wand work to such a subtle degree that it didn't cause him any pause. 

With a few elegant twists and curls of his wand, a golden rope appeared, and Kylo sat up in his chair, supported by the magic that was pulling his wrists behind his back. The golden rope tied itself in the most gorgeously intricate knots, crossing his perfectly wide chest with a diamond pattern that looped around his back and bound his arms, wrists to elbows, before tying itself off. Hux lowered his wand slowly, examining the shimmering rope with a critical eye. Kylo’s skin pooled up around it but Hux couldn't see any lines that looked too tight, that left a disproportionate amount of pressure. He still ran his fingers along each knot and asked gently, “Are any of these too tight?” 

Kylo shook his head and when Hux only stared at him, he said, “No, sir.” 

His voice was small and breathy and Hux grinned at him. He'd picked that book for a reason-- Kylo had circled and starred and underlined this particular line of text. Hux had never learned these charms but, he decided as he stared at Kylo’s parted lips and half lidded eyes, he'd done a more than passable job. 

Kylo was beautiful like this. The golden rope shimmered against his red and white skin. His full lips were pink and round, spit slick and shining in the torch light. His thick, luxurious curls were falling over his shoulders, wet where they touched his forehead. But it was his eyes that made the hard heat pushing at Hux’s slacks pulse with possessive pride, with a blinding sort of adoration that was so fierce it felt almost like rage. And almost like something else he refused to admit to. They were amber and onyx, glassy and hooded and locked onto Hux’s face with a magnetic insistence. Hux felt like he could peer inside Kylo's head like this, like he could sink into that gaze and surface dragging back all the black little secrets Kylo kept locked inside. 

And why shouldn't he? Kylo was his. Everything he was, Hux wanted. Every bit of darkness and light, every smile, every scream, every terror and anguish and joy that coalesced into the perfect man sitting before him. Hux wanted it all with a desperate, plaintive greed that lived in his bones and curled his fingers around thin air at the very thought of grasping it all. 

The whine, when it came, was too loud and too soft all at once, and Hux had the totally disorienting sensation of hearing his own thoughts  _ outside  _ his head.  _ Please, please, please, Professor, please, yes, yours, always, please--  _

Hux licked his lips. Those weren't his thoughts at all. 

“You're stunning,” he heard himself saying. “Do you know that?” 

Kylo tilted forward in his chair, lips upturned for a kiss that Hux was more than willing to oblige him with. He wanted him to see, to understand what Hux saw, and Kylo followed the tip of his wand hungrily when Hux broke the kiss. He cleared a path to the mirror, and with another careful flick, sent his armchair gliding across the floor. The motion made Kylo lean back for balance and he peered around at Hux in disappointment at the sudden distance separating them. 

It didn't last long. Hux stepped behind the chair, crop in hand, and pointed at the mirror, bending low over Kylo's shoulders. 

“Look at yourself.” He pressed the words lovingly to the crown of Kylo's head, and watched his black eyes snap to the reflection. “Look how beautiful you are like this,” Hux told him, still speaking so softly, his breath on Kylo’s ear made the other man shudder. He ran his hands over the ropes as he spoke, loving the feel of the soft gold beneath his fingertips, the heat in Kylo’s skin.

When he pressed his fingers to those unfathomable lips, Kylo leaned into him, opened his mouth expectantly and Hux could feel the close damp heat of his breath on his knuckles and the hot, tense ache in his gut spread, shivered up his spine and made his head swim with plaintive whimpers and breathless gasps. He wanted to hear more of it, hear it all again, and when he caught his own expression in the mirror, eyes jumping to the silvered glass to watch Kylo’s face, he looked almost feral. “These lips,” he whispered raggedly. “Who do these belong to?” 

“You,” came the eager reply. 

“And these freckles?” he demanded, planting a kiss on Kylo's shoulder. 

“Yours.” 

“And this?” he asked viciously, sliding one hand down to grip Kylo’s half full erection with a rough jerk. 

Kylo’s hips jerked and he moaned in Hux’s ear, lips practically pressed to Hux’s cheek where he was leaning over the back of the chair. He stroked him again, squeezing his fist roughly, reaching down to palm his balls before coming back and twirling his fingers around the now rapidly filling head. Kylo moaned and fucked up into his fist, a shrill, needy desperation in his voice; Hux had paid so little attention to this part of him that this ungentle attention had him pleading with everything but words. 

“Who does this belong to, Kylo?” 

“You--you, you, you.” And it sounded like giving in, like whatever tiny parts of himself he'd been holding onto had been pulled out of him by Hux’s greedy hand.

Hux turned his head, bit Kylo’s jaw hard enough to hurt and felt the blood pulse in Kylo’s dick. 

“You're mine,” he hissed before he could stop himself, before he could think better of what he was saying. “Not  _ Septem’s.  _ Not the Knights’. Not Snoke’s.” Kylo shuddered, eyes flying open to show Hux all the shadows he'd just conjured. “Mine. You're mine. Say it.” Kylo was quiet suddenly, head turned to peer at Hux, too close to really see him. Hux fisted his other hand in Kylo's hair, pulled back until that long beautiful neck was exposed to him, and growled, “Say it, Kylo.”

“Yours.” His voice was smaller than it had been.

“Again.”

“I'm yours.” 

“And I take care of what's mine,” he replied, with all the savage affection clawing at his throat.

He shoved his own damp hair out of his eyes with his free hand and reached for his pocket.

Hux waved his wand and watched all that cracked glass in Kylo’s eyes shatter when the toy he was still wearing buzzed to life again. Kylo almost yelped, back arching and toes curling against the floor. Hux lingered just long enough to stroke the curls from his face one last time before he stepped out of his shoes and slacks, the fabric all at once too tight and restrictive. 

Kylo leaned forward in the chair as Hux came to stand in front of him, nearly bent in two to reach Hux. Hux was responding before he could think better of it, gripping Kylo by the chin, forcing him back onto the chair and biting Kylo’s bottom lip hard enough to make him whine and tense under Hux’s hips. 

Hux climbed into the chair and didn’t remember doing it. One moment he was standing, wand in hand, the next he was pressing his fingers to Kylo’s throat, layering his lips and jaw and neck with sharp kisses, loving the way Kylo’s hips jumped beneath him, how his arms strained against his bonds, how frustrated it made him. “I'd tear this castle down brick by brick for you,” he babbled fiercely, surprised by the rage swelling in his chest. “I'd follow you into every shadow.” 

“Hux.” The word was a plea, and Hux saw tears spring to the corners of Kylo's eyes.

He'd lost control somewhere and he couldn't seem to motivate himself to pull it back. All his fury and rage, all his fear and helplessness came flooding into him and he realized how much he loathed the Knights of Ren, how terrified he was that when Kylo needed him most, he'd shut Hux out again. 

“You're mine,” he said again, voice cracking. “And I'd tear his fucking throat out before I'd let him hurt you.” 

Kylo sobbed, a throaty ecstatic sound, and Hux couldn't wait anymore. He broke away panting, looking over his shoulder for the one thing he’d forgotten in all his haste. 

Before the thought was fully formed in his head, his favorite bottle of lubricant came hurtling off the shelf and Hux had to catch it to avoid getting slapped in the face. He whipped around to look at Kylo, accusation on his lips and contemplating if unauthorized use of wandless magic was enough to earn him a slap. But Kylo’s eyes were glazed and focused so intently on Hux’s face it made Hux’s chest ache. 

Kylo hadn’t summoned the lube. At least not purposely. 

He’d have time to think about it later. 

Right now, he coated his own fingers in the lube and watched Kylo watch him reach back to apply it. He couldn’t contain the moan that slipped from his own lips, couldn’t stop from teasing himself open with the tip of his finger, though the spelled lube alone would have been enough.

Kylo started whispering into a space near Hux’s collarbone, a stream of obscenities peppered with ‘please’, with ‘Hux,’ with ‘Professor.’

Hux shoved him back with one hand at the base of his throat, the motion severe and uncontained. 

“Beg for me, darling.” 

He did, gifting Hux with a litany of needy, prideless whines that made Hux’s skin prickle and when he couldn’t take it anymore, he seated himself, too desperate now himself to draw it out, to make Kylo squirm for it. 

Kylo dropped his head forward, put his forehead against Hux’s chest, and moaned, the sound uninhibited and thoughtless and beautiful. Hux could feel the toy, feel the vibrations in Kylo’s cock, so swollen from the ring Hux hadn’t released him from. 

It was all so perfect, and he’d denied himself for so long-- he realized with a surge of disappointment that it wasn’t going to last. He’d brought himself closer than he realized, watching Kylo come on the floor, watching him strain and press against his ropes and writhe in overstimulated bliss, imagining all the ways he'd destroy anyone who thought they could lay a hand on what was  _ his. _

He’d barely gained his rhythm when he felt the tell tale swell of heat in his gut, dug his nails into Kylo’s shoulder to ground himself and ease him back. 

Kylo only called out louder, and Hux realized there were words hiding among the cries and moans. “Please--sir-- please--can I--” 

“Yes,” Hux breathed in his ear, pulling Kylo’s head into his chest, one hand fisted in his hair. “Yes, Kylo, yes, darling, come for me, love--”

He felt it happen. Felt Kylo’s whole body stiffen and then go boneless, felt Kylo’s high pitched cries in his chest, felt every ounce of him give into that singular blissful release. Hux rode the high with him, felt him crest and fall, felt for one solitary moment, that Kylo was nothing but this. Only this. Only Hux’s. 

When Hux came back to himself, his own hand was wrapped around his cock and wet with come. 

Kylo whimpered, a sad, exhausted little sound, and Hux practically fell out of the chair in his sudden scramble to reach his wand. When he waved it, felt the little buzzing toy cease, Kylo gave one huge sigh before he fell mostly silent, chin to his chest, panting softly as his breath returned to him. Hux couldn’t resist tilting his head back by the chin, plying him with sweet, gentle kisses, stroking his hair and murmuring love against his lips. 

 

Later, when the ropes were gone and the toys discarded thoughtlessly on the floor for the Room to tend to, when Hux had rubbed a spelled salve onto the few crop stripes that were turning purple, when he'd kissed the rope imprints from Kylo's wrists, they lay in bed in silence, Hux draped heavily over Kylo's broad chest. 

Kylo’s breath was evening out, his face going slack, and Hux laid his cheek over Kylo's heart, listened to the gentle pulse getting slower and more even. 

The knot in throat was growing, choking him. 

Kylo shifted suddenly, soothed his hand over Hux's bare back and said questioningly, “Baby?” 

“Hmm?” Hux muttered, tilting his chin up.

He was digging his nails into Kylo's thick arms, holding him so tightly his hands were starting to throb. 

“Hey,” Kylo said gently, voice so soft it made Hux’s eyes sting. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine,” Hux answered. He knew before the words had faded that Kylo knew he was lying. 

 

The students were gone. Hogwarts was quiet. 

Hux sat in his empty office and stared at his bare desk. He had no more papers to grade. The summer was starting, it was a beautiful day, and he couldn't seem to make himself move. 

"In my day, professors were actually excited about the start of the summer vacation." 

Hux jerked in his chair and when he looked up, he found Anakin Skywalker staring at him from a picture frame, one brow raised. 

Hux shrugged, an immature little motion that his students usually made when he caught them doing something wrong. 

"Leia sent me to tell you to send up any recommendation letters she needs to sign off on." 

Hux lifted his eyes dolefully. "I'm not through with them yet," he admitted. Anakin's brow arched even further, giving him a cartoonish appearance. 

"This from the man who makes it a habit to complete every task at least two weeks ahead of time?" 

"I've been... busy," Hux snapped, standing from his desk and starting to gather a few pieces of loose parchment into his bag. 

"With my grandson?" 

"Mind your own business," Hux snapped, stomping for the door before he could stop himself. "I'm not a bloody teenager hiding out in my bloody common room for you to spy on and chastise. I'll fuck who I want and you can find someone else's life to stick your oily nose into." He stormed out of the room, bag under his arm, and had no idea where he was going. 

Anakin followed him, silently gliding through portraits like a ghost. When Hux rounded a corner and found himself at a dead end, Anakin asked him, "Is that all he is to you?" 

"Why shouldn't he be?" Hux demanded furiously, spinning on his heel and facing the portrait Anakin was invading. "We're both adults, we both. Know what we like. What's wrong with getting it from each other?" 

"Nothing." 

"Exactly, nothing!" 

"If that's really what you want."

"I know what I want!" Hux wasn't sure why he was shouting. He was waking up all the portraits and they started whispering about him. 

"Does he?"

"You don't know what you're talking about," Hux said, voice shaking almost as badly as his hands. "And I'll not take.  _ Personal  _ advice from a man who murdered his own wife. What do you know about love?" His voice cracked in the empty hallway, louder than he meant to be and more raw and exposed than anything he'd ever said in his life. 

Anakin's face went slack, the expression cold and sure. And hurt. "Enough to recognize it," he said smoothly.  

"Bother someone else," Hux snapped, turning on his heel and stomping back down the hallway. "You don't know what you're talking about." 

Anakin snorted. "I've known you since you were eleven years old, Armitage Hux. I know more than you think." 

"You're a painting of a dead man," Hux told him. "Stop pretending you understand the lives of the living." 

"Hux?"

Hux jerked his head when he heard his name. Phasma stared at him from the end of the hall, brows arched suspiciously. 

"Who are you talking too?"

Hux turned his head. Anakin was gone. "No one." 

"We're all going to the Three Broomsticks," she told him, voice still pitched high with suspicion. "Come with us."

Hux peered over his shoulder at the empty frame where Anakin had been standing. Then he said, “Alright.” 

 

The Three Broomsticks was filled to bursting with start-of-the-summer celebrators. Rey, Finn, Poe, and Phasma all eyed the door skeptically, but it was Hux who said, “Let’s go to the Hogshead.” 

He wasn’t sure why he liked that idea more, why it felt more fitting. Something in the back of his head just drew him there, and after he spoke, he turned without waiting for anyone to reply.  By the time he reached the door to the seedier bar, all four of them were close behind, chatting cheerfully. Poe and Finn were openly holding hands now, which didn’t irk Hux like it once might have. 

The four of them slid into place at a table in the far less crowded bar, and all eyes were immediately on Hux. He’d been staring into space absently, lost in thought, and it was jarring to blink and find them all looking at him. 

“What?” 

“So. You and Kylo,” Poe said without any preamble, waggling his eyebrows. 

Hux leveled a glare at Rey. “I didn’t tell them!” she protested. 

Three sets of eyes jumped to her and they all said, “Tell us what?” 

Rey grinned. “I caught them canoodling in the hallways like  _ students.  _ End of last week.” 

Hux put his forehead in his hands. 

“Relax, we all knew, we’ve known for months,” Finn said breezily. “We just figured you’d talk about it now that the school year is over.” 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Hux told them. “Is this why you asked me to come?” he accused, rounding on Phasma. 

She shrugged. “I don’t know why you keep pretending you’re being secretive about it. Even Leia knows.” 

“ _ Leia?”  _ Hux repeated, aghast. “ _ How?”  _

Phasma shrugged again. “Leia knows everything. I think Anakin spies for her.” 

“Of course he does,” Hux grumbled. “Why aren’t we talking about that?” he demanded, pointing instead to Finn’s arm around Poe’s shoulder. 

Finn raised his brows. “Because it’s been going on for months and it was never a secret?” 

“What?”

Poe and Finn exchanged amused glances. “We talked to Leia right after Christmas,” Poe said with a chuckle. “We sent each other singing valentines. How did you miss this? Isn’t it your job to know what we’re all getting up to?”

“Excuse me if I’ve been a bit… distracted,” Hux spat. 

“Trouble in paradise?” Rey quipped. 

“There is no paradise!”

“What, like you broke up?” Phasma demanded, alarmed. 

“No--”

“So you are together?”

“I-- yes,” he said firmly, the word bouncing around in his skull as he spoke it. Speaking it out loud, no matter how true it already was, made everything feel more real somehow. 

“So what’s the problem?” Finn pressed. 

“I can’t talk about it,” Hux burst out miserably, dropping his forehead to the table. 

“Knight shit,” Poe confirmed with a sigh. “That’s rough, buddy.” 

“Don’t call me ‘buddy,’ Dameron,” Hux growled without lifting his head. 

Alarm shot through his head, harsh and sharp, and he jerked up so quickly, everyone jumped and stared at him. Phasma said sharply, “Are you alright?” 

“Fine,” Hux told her mouth dry. “I just--” And there it was again, alarm and frustration and fear all curling together needlessly in his chest and he felt his heart start to race with familiar anxiety at the emotions he knew inexplicably weren’t his own. “Excuse me.” He stood quickly, chair scraping the ground behind him, and tottered to the bathroom without another word-- except just as he rounded the corner, he felt everything intensify. 

_ Kylo.  _

Without stopping to consider what he was doing, Hux changed direction and walked up the stairs. 

“Master, please, calm down!” The voice was pitched low, but Hux could still hear it clearly through the door at the top of the stairs. 

“Don’t tell me to be calm, Septima!” Kylo replied. “There must always be seven, there has to be seven, we can’t wait to find someone new! Every second we grow weaker and he gets closer.”

“Master,” said a small voice with a very obvious French accent. “You are frightening me.”

“We should all be frightened,” Kylo growled. “He did this on purpose, divide and conquer, that was always his strategy. He wanted us weak and now he’s got his way.” 

“We don’t even know it’s him,” Septem said reasonably. 

Kylo laughed as Hux shamelessly pressed his ear to the door. “Don’t be naive.” 

“Master,” said a slow, measured, American voice. “I am. I am just as fearful as you are. But we can’t rush this. We can’t risk inducting one of his puppets--”

“I know!” Kylo spat, voice furious and resigned. “I know we can’t.” 

“The list I gave you,” Septem began tentatively, “is a good place to start.”

“I know these people, Sep,” Kylo said tiredly. “He’ll eat them alive. One weak link and the whole chain crumbles.” 

“You sound like him,” a third American voice whispered. 

“He’s a genius,” Kylo answered. “We’d do better to think like him.” 

“Kylo,” Septem hissed, low in her throat. 

“You don’t need to go to that place,” the French woman added, voice soft and soothing. 

Silence descended on the room, and Hux realized it was a tense, tight silence. He strained to hear something, anything, and an image flashed into his head: four women staring at a fifth, whose brown eyes sparkled like stones in her head. Hux blinked and he was staring at the woodgrain again, but then the woman, the one with the dark eyes, said, “Is that what you think? That he was a ‘weak link.’” She spat the words like they disgusted her. She was German. 

“No,” Kylo breathed. “Of course not. He was. He was the best of us. But that’s just it, isn’t it? If he could take out Teddy--”  _ Tribus,  _ Hux’s brain inexplicably provided. “None of us are safe.” 

Hux had heard enough. He put his hand on the knob and found it locked, but still heard it click open with barely a thought. 

He threw it open, eyes falling immediately to the place he knew Kylo sat, and before they’d all finished jumping to their feet and drawing their wands, he said, “I’ll do it.” 

“Who--” the blonde woman began. Kylo raised his hand, and all of them fell quiet. 

Hux looked him full in the eye. “I’ll do it.” 

“You shouldn’t be here.” 

Hux swung the door shut behind him and crossed his arms over his chest. “I am exactly where I need to be.” 

“Who is this man?” the brown eyed woman demanded. Her skin was pale like Hux’s, her hair as black her pupils. She was dressed all in black and when Hux looked at her, he felt like screaming. 

Septem leaned back in her chair, the only one who hadn’t jumped to her feet, and scowled. “He’s the master’s latest flavor,” she drawled. 

Hux said, “Fuck you.”  

“How did he get in?” The woman speaking was looking at Kylo, not Hux. She was one of the Americans, a black woman with her hair buzzed and skin the color of dark amber. 

“I don’t know,” Kylo answered. “Hux, you need to leave,” he said again. “You can’t be here.” 

“I’m not going anywhere, Kylo,” Hux told him, voice low and furious. “You need a knight. You need a seventh man. I’ll do it.” 

Septem snorted. 

“‘E broke my spell!” the French woman exclaimed. She was tall, blonde-haired and blue-eyed, and staring at Hux like he was a very interesting mystery. “‘E broke my lock.”

Hux recalled the way the knob had turned under his hand, and lifted his chin. 

“What, did you follow us here?” Septem demanded. 

“Kylo called me,” he told her. The room suddenly got very quiet. 

“No, I didn’t,” Kylo told him. 

“Yes, you did,” Hux insisted. “You called me, you were scared. I came.” 

Kylo stared at him while the five women exchanged looks. 

The second black woman, the twin to the first except her hair was longer, and spiraled out from her head in a beautiful bloom, said, “What do you mean he called you?” 

“I heard him,” Hux insisted. “Or. Or felt him,” he amended, mind suddenly storming with the understanding that something very strange had just happened. 

“The room was spelled against eavesdroppers,” Septem told Kylo. “He can’t have heard us.” 

Kylo’s eyes flicked to Septem and then back to Hux and when they settled on him, Hux felt a chill dart down his spine. They looked blacker than usual, dark with fury. “Hux. Go back to the castle. We’ll talk about this later.” 

Hux drew himself up and spat, “I will not.” 

“Hux--”

“Have you forgotten who you’re speaking too,  _ Master  _ Ren? _ ”  _ Hux demanded. “Or do we need to duel again?” 

The five women went very still, and when Hux’s eyes flicked to them, his brain suddenly provided him names: Duo, the French woman; Quattuor, the German; Quinque, the short haired twin; and Sex, the long. They were all staring at him now, and Kylo, with wide, calculating eyes. 

Kylo laughed a strained sort of laugh and said, “Do you really think you could actually best me in a true fight, Hux? You should know better than that.” His voice was low and dangerous, but the control was unraveling and Hux could feel it, feel him screaming, feel him trying to hold it all together like sparks in his hands. 

“Maybe not,” Hux told him. “But you’d break a sweat.” 

Kylo blinked at him. The women all exchanged glances and then turned their eyes on Kylo, and Hux knew his words had weight, wondered if the same could be said for anyone else in the room. 

“You need someone you can trust. Trust me.” 

Kylo broke then, and Hux wasn’t sure what had done it, exactly, but his voice cracked, and his shoulders sagged and he was pleading when he said, “Hux, you could  _ die.  _ He’ll  _ kill  _ you, he already killed one of us--”

“Then you will need the strongest wizard you can find at your side.” Hux told him, voice rising. “You need me!”

“No! I won’t, I won’t watch him--”

“And I won’t be your widow, Kylo!” Hux half screamed. 

Kylo looked like he’d been hit. 

There was a crushing silence in the room, and Hux felt his next words like molten lead in his throat, couldn’t swallow them down though he knew he’d already revealed too much, and in front of so many. 

“You’re mine.”

Kylo’s shoulders sagged. His eyes were liquid and huge and Hux realized in surprise that the expression on his face was relief. 

“I won’t let you wander into the dark alone,” Hux told him, stepping forward and lifting the tips of his fingers to trace along Kylo’s cheek. Kylo turned his head into the touch, and Hux could feel the anxiety melting out of his skin. “I take care of what’s mine. Don’t I, darling?” 

Kylo lifted his hand, curled his fingers around Hux’s thin wrist. They stood like that for a long time, Kylo swaying into Hux’s space, Hux trying to assuage the savage, possessive affection that rose up in his chest. 

Then Quattuor said, “I approve.” 

Kylo and Hux both jerked, spun to face the women, almost as if they had forgotten they were there. 

“I approve,” Sex and Quinque both answered, one right after the other. 

“I approve,” said Duo, a gentle smile on her delicate lips.

Hux felt his eyes land on Septem, reclining in her seat, eyes heavy lidded and arrogant. He lifted his chin. 

“I approve,” said Septem. 

 

“Unum.” Kylo stared at Hux when he said it and Hux swallowed hard as he met Kylo’s eyes. A bold black number one appeared over his heart. 

“Duo.” Hux turned to her when he heard her voice and for one long moment, he was stuck staring at her, caught like the firelight sparkling in her hair. A bold black two appeared on her forearm, visible where her wrists were upturned on her knees. 

There was silence then, and Hux swallowed again. This was it. There would be no turning back after this. Kylo had explained that the only Knights released from these bonds were the Fallen, men and women who had the bond of Knighthood ripped from their chests and were left to empty silence. Hux peered into the small flame burning in the stone bowl at the center of their circle and said, “Tribus.” 

The moment the words left his lips, he curled forward, a horrible searing pain burning across the flesh at his right hip. He peered down and saw black blood welling up in beads on his bare skin, running in rivulets and filling in all the spaces until a pitch black number three was visible. He ground his teeth against the pain, aware the incantation was continuing around him,  and when he finally looked up, it was to hear Septem speak her name. 

The room went black and the empty space in Hux’s head lit up. 

He hadn’t been aware it was there, had thought there was only enough room in his head for him, but that wasn’t the case at all. He could hear all of them, feel them so close, and so comfortable, it was like they had always been there. 

He sighed aloud, felt like a puzzle piece slotting into place. 

_ Tribus. _

He heard the call in his head, and felt it like his own name, like it had always belonged to him. Without a second thought, he lifted his hands. 

The Master dragged a blade across the tip of Tribus’s finger, and curled warm, gentle hands around Tribus’’s wrist. He guided Tribus to lean forward, and squeezed his hand until the blood dripped from his fingers, to land first in the black flames leaping from the stone bowl, and next in the goblet the Master held in his left hand.

He did the same with Quattuor, with Quinque and Sex, and finally, with Septem. 

The flames turned red.  

The Master brought the goblet to his lips and sipped once. 

The part of Tribus that was Hux almost smirked, remembering how furious he had been so many months ago, reading about the blood magic the Knights of Ren performed, how Dark it had seemed, and how much it had frightened him. 

This was powerful magic. But it was not frightening. 

The Master passed the goblet to Duo, who drank before passing it to Tribus. 

He drank without a second thought, and felt it flowing through him instantly. Closeness. There was no other word for it. All the people in his head intensified and he knew them, just as well as he knew himself. He knew the Master’s anger and hatred and fear. He knew Quattour’s sorrow, how much she missed her husband, how bittersweet she felt seeing the black three on Hux’s bare hip. He knew Septem’s wistfulness, how much she missed having the Master in her arms, but not for anything they had ever shared, or had been together. Rather for the feeling she had had when it was new, when she had thought he might be more to her than just a shadow in the night. He had been more, but not in the way she had wanted. 

He knew them all, and knew that they knew him, and when he turned and looked at the Master over the light from the red flames, he saw no need to hide himself. 

He loved.

He loved as if he had never known another way. He loved as if there had never been a more perfect man in a more perfect form in all of eternity. And when the Master raised his beautiful eyes and looked back at Tribus over the flames, Tribus felt his love too. They had never spoken it to one another. And now they would never need to. 

The Master put one hand down on the ground and started to lean for Tribus and Tribus, almost magnetically, leaned forward himself. 

“Master,” Septem snapped. 

The Master jerked back and turned to look at her, and Tribus did too. Her beautiful ( _ stunning)  _ face was strained, with sweat on her brow,  and when he curiously reached forward, he felt all his own affection radiating back at him and it was huge and addictive. He reached out to all of them and felt how they struggled to sit still, how much they wanted to reach out and touch Tribus, or touch the Master, how desperate they were for each other. 

The red flames went out. The incantation was over. The Master had told him it would be short, and simple, but Tribus still hadn’t expected the powers it would evoke. He felt like his blood was singing. 

“Leave us, sisters,” the Master said quietly, and he sounded like he was struggling for air. 

The women rose and left and Tribus had to force himself not to reach for them, afraid, suddenly and inexplicably, of losing them. 

“They won’t go far,” the Master told him, voice wry. 

Tribus swallowed and didn’t speak. 

“You can always call on them now, if you need them, no matter how far from you they are. And when they are close, you can even speak with them in your head, with no more difficulty than you are speaking to me now.” 

Tribus blinked at him and still didn’t speak. 

“I told them to leave,” he said slowly, “because my feelings for you are very strong. And when we are together like this, the lines between us blur, become indistinct. It’s not wise for them to stay, to be close to this. They feel what I feel. They feel what you feel.” 

“Can you feel what I feel?” Tribus asked him, words blurry and slurred with the effort of remaining seated. 

“All of it.”

He leaned forward then, caught Tribus’s mouth in a kiss that felt like coming home, that felt like a dam breaking, that felt like the culmination of years of longing. 

Tribus kissed him back, felt a savage fury crest in his chest, and thought fiercely,  _ Mine.  _

The response, when it came, originated from the man in front of him, and echoed from five women, all still curled in secret corners of his head, now and forever. 

_ Yours.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE ARE DONE! 
> 
> I mean, with this part of the story at least. 
> 
> This ended up being way longer and more elaborate than I ever intended, but I hope it has been a fun read. Thank you all so much for all your love and encouragement and kudos and beautiful comments. It seriously sustains me. You are all amazing and I love you. 
> 
> ALSO-- special thanks to Ajax and KTC and Sheepandpencils for help on this chapter-- it was a rough one for me and y'all made it easier and I love you so effing much ok?! 
> 
> As always, if you enjoyed, please come visit me on tumblr! I will never tire of getting to talk to you guys.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Tumblr!](https://ellabesmirched.tumblr.com/)


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